Do We Really Have to Love Our Spawn?

Okay folks. 

I know for some of you this may be a hard question, and you could never imagine 'not' loving any of your children, but loving your child as an adult is another story.  When they have not become the person they were raised to be brings up a whole other set of emotions.  Perhaps one has to walk in another's shoes to really honestly answer this.  You can say, yes I love my children because I brought them into this world, and I can take them out..yeah, right.  Well, consider doing them body harm, if under the age of 18, and Social Services will remove them for you.  Yep, somebody else can fuck them up for you if you are not doing your job as a parent.

When they are adults, however, and they prompt you to the point of wanting to do them bodily harm with a good bitch-slap, consider the size and figure one of you might end up hurt and in the hospital. 

At this point, most of you know I am having to raise my granddaughter, so much for me being able to escape the drama from her mother's life to include jailbird hubby who will soon be home, or that screwed up in-law family.  One day grown eldest daughter is sweet, cakey, and piey, and the next she's bipolar, mouthy, and in your face.  When life hands you drug-addicted grown children, who have suffered consequences to include the loss of custody of her own children, drama for two years preceding up to that point to include lies, continual lies, verbage, theivery, just out and out bad behaviors to include bullying you, throwing items at you or even hitting you, even though you know this is drug-induced behaviors, in your heart you have disowned them because you had to.  Trust has been irrevocably broken, and it doesn't seem to ever get to the point where you can trust again.

Time and time again if you are being disrespected and your authority undermined (filling her children's heads that they don't have to listen to me as it relates to discipline, etc.), you get to where you dismiss them out of your life, and I'm not so sure that's a bad thing.  Its sad to think that even if she has cleaned up the drug issue, its still full of lies, deceit, behaviors that are hard to deal with, etc, and I am just done with it.  I am sick and tired of having to live in this drama ...actually I know at this point, it will never become a complete circle... it just leaves a a gaping hole...

If a grown child of yours become a source of contempt, shows disrepect, and just acts irresponsibly and disgusts you with their verbage right in front of little 'eyes' watching, do you just turn the other cheek? or do you feel inclined to kick their ass or ban them from your immediate surroundings?  maybe you should pick up everythng you own and move to bumfucked Egypt or perhaps a few towns over might be the trick...

...I'm tired if living my life for everybody else and drowning in this drama, I'm taking it back this year.

Yeah, a one-way ticket sounds like a good idea.

meaningless babble

Life changes by a second...
by one moment.
by one word spoken.
by one word left unsaid.
by one accident.
by one triumph.
by one coincidence.
by one decision.
don't let 'real living' pass you by, take hold of your life and live every minute...

however, do people really do this? only in love do they? in love with their life, in love with someone, in love and passionate about something...I've gone through phases, sometimes I wonder where I am, and what's coming; I find more often than not a feeling of dread.

all this chaos, weather, battles within families and discord across the planet, people going hungry, jobless, the rising costs of everything...hard times...makes me want to bury myself in the confines of my blanket and just stay there, and so I shall...its raining all over the world. not too many things feel right, right now. how's the weather in your soul?

and what the hell is up with Blogger? I can't make comments anywhere...I tried.

*copyrighted picture 'the Mothership'
by Sean Heavey/Barcroft Media*

Summer Motion 2011

Every year our little town, Ashland, Kentucky, has 4th festivities, not unlike anywhere else, geared for family fun and live entertainment.  For the first two days all activities are held a couple of blocks up from me at Central Park, and next few days, all the activities center around the Riverfront, which has been a few years in the developing, and now is finished.

The headliner this year is Billy Ray Cyrus, who will be performing tomorrow evening, at the riverfront.  His achy breaky heart hit was filmed here at our local Paramount Arts Center, with many local fill-ins in that video. It was quite the hub in the day.  I'm not a country music fan, but I suppose I'll mosey on down to the river, two blocks down from me, and enjoy the festivities tomorrow night.  I wished there was more rock n roll concerts but that's just me...

At Central park these last two days, there were arts and crafts booths, lots of food, a car show, a motorcycle show, a wrestling match, games booths, petting zoos, NASA was there with an exhibit, local health screenings, a 10K race, a cornhole competition (don't ask what that is...lol), inflatables for the kids, and some unique stuff too, like some guy who makes musical instruments into lamps, and another dude blowing hand glass ornamental objects to include forming glass lamps, bulb ornaments, etc...but a little too pricey for my budget.

Also at Central Park performing stage, local talent in the area got their chance to go on stage and perform, and from what I heard, they were pretty darn good. Its been an interesting couple of days, but at least I have a parking place now since things have moved to the Riverfront! The heat is pretty bad outside though, making it rather uncomfortable.  Hope you guys are enjoying your local community events.  Happy Fourth everybody!

Monday Monday

 da da...da da da...so good to me...

bite me!

On the workfront, I guess Deb and I are going to train another girl to help with evening shift and when  I go on va'kashun! which will be here soon! I can't wait.  I will be off starting the 18th through the 27th. As far as the new chicka, I think the best way to train her is to have her jump in the middle and get her feet wet, strictly dayshift! that's how I was taught.  sink or swim!

I remember not being at all prepared when I took on this management position (Deb went to India on me, so I had nobody to ask), and while Deb is good to teach you when she teaches you, she just neglects teaching you stuff...LOL...I mean real stuff you need to know, or maybe she covered it and I just wasn't listening?! I can't remember it seems years ago now.  I guess in this business you don't want to over-train people right? They'll take YOUR job.  Well by the time I train her it probably won't matter, the whole management team will be outsourced! ha! We will all become auditors.

While cruising for TV entertainment, I started watching a couple of new TV food series shows; one the next Food Network star to win their own show, and Chef Ramsey was on tonight too.  Speaking of food, I bought some of the best fresh peaches and strawberries.  OMGosh!  they were so fresh and delicious, I have thoroughly 'pigged out on them'.  *me making a pig snort sound* hahaha!

What other news needs catching up on?  Bella is in day camp at the YMCA which is costing me a small fortune, plus I have to send her lunch.  Grown daughter (Bella's mom) got a job at a local donut shop, pouring coffee, eating donuts, and waiting on insomniacs who cannot sleep.  Still clean, doing well.  Yeah, she can't sleep either it seems; its hard to get used to a midnight schedule.  I don't know how she is going to manage this very long. I could never do midnights.  Never.  

Anyway, whats the news in your neck of the woods?   tell me, tell me...

Get Out of Jail Free Card...and other craziness...

Celebrate two days of non-work! I feel like I'm on reprieve..

Can I get an Amen?

I must really need a vacation.  Here lately my job is becoming a real pain in the arse! Lower management does that to a person, doesn't it? 

or I'm just burnt out, stressed, and dead tired.

by the way, I get a phone call last night from Griszelda Mess (who is this? find out on the right over there under the real smut stuff Queen Bitchship), who really did go to jail last night, she could have used this get out of jail free card, instead she was released on her own recognizance...stupid, stupid...and then calls me up at 11:30 p.m., whilst I'm trying to sleep from a most exhausting day...wanting me to pay for her a motel room? uhmmm...no.

in other crazed newsiness....

I have this globe thing, people comment on it often, which is a caller ID of sorts.  It usually has numbers which circulate around in it...I've never seen another one like it..  It wasn't given to me by any phone service.

Anyway its been acting weird...instead of giving me phone numbers it is saying things like Good Morning, and Happy Valentine's Day.?? hmmmm...yeah..its becoming downright scary.

This thing came into the house as a gift from my ex-husband (now deceased, and NO! I didn't kill him...lol) but at first I thought it was John trying to message me from the great beyond...

or it was just possessed...

or I was really just going mad....

then come to find out its just because the darn thing isn't plugged in properly and is on demo mode. 

Yes, I definitely need that vacation.  I need carpets cleaned. I, most definitely need a life~! and a stiff cocktail! Won't you join me?

Hows your week been?  Tell me, tell me...in 5 seconds or less!

Buzzzzzz, time's up! 

the Toilet Bowl blues...

after feeling crappy with the aftermath of the weekend..

and the crazy madness out of my 19 year old,

did I happen to mention that Fuzzy, our Maine Coon, got out the door when the 'boys' from the all-nighter left finally Saturday morning? ... and he's still missing.  I've been worried sick.  He has been declawed, he's old...and at this point, I miss him more than the 19 year old...at least I'm getting a reprieve from the crazy. 

If that isn't enough, yesterday evening I go upstairs, and I find water all over the floor...OhMyGawd.  On closer inspection around the throne, water is spewing finely from that attachment at the base of the tank, and who in the hell can turn that valve off? I'm trying, I'm trying to turn that dang knob, its hard, and its spewing pretty good...LOL

In my panic-stricken mode after prying ruthlessly to turn the son-of-a gun valve off, I called the gardener, who got back in town in the nick of time; so here he comes in his flannel checked underwear pant PJs, bringing tools to turn off that dang valve after I nearly tore my hand up.  So at 10 o'clock he leaves last night, turns off the valve, so I think all is well, father in law will come look at it tomorrow, so I try to get some rest after my shower.

Next thing I know, I hear two cats fighting outside at 3 a.m., I spring from my bed to see about the clatter,  fly open the front door and beckon for him, but he is nowhere in sight, does not answer me.  Perhaps that was not him fighting with another cat.  How could he? He has no claws.  Slowly I turn to the sound of water dripping in the livingroom as there is total silence.  Snap it hits me like a ton of bricks! Noooooooo!

I run upstairs and see that the damn bathroom floor is flooded, and now its coming through the ceiling in the living room below it?  oh GAWD!!!!! Yes, I had 2-3 inches of water in the bathroom floor, what a frickin' mess at 3 a.m., here I am sopping up water, missing the cat, thinking what in the hell?  Is there a moon rising I don't know about? a curse of some kind? ugh...After I clean up the mess, I empty the plastic bowl I had used to catch the 'drip' and re-insert it under the leak thinking it'll hold till I get up? yeah right...after all how much does a toilet bowl hold...too damn much.  

Yeah...so much for the gardener's brilliance at fixing plumbing.  He says he thinks its the valve, it wasn't. 

$94 bucks later, in 5 minutes, the plumber replaced the line from the tank to the valve line, and all is well is Urbappalachia.

Yep, the last few days have been a total flush!

some days...

I just numb myself through it all.
too exhausted emotionally to do much.
yesterday and today have been one of those days.
didn't get too much sleep Friday;
extra people in my home, starting at midnight.
alcohol, my daughter, her friend, 2 boys
I'm upstairs trying to sleep
an 8 year old in the house
the stench radiated
voices escalated due to drunkenness
I descended the stairs, and ask them to leave
they never did; faked the door opening and closing.
I woke up to some kid laying in his underwear
on my livingroom floor,
the other boy on the couch
with my 19 year old.
My daughter's other girlfriend on the floor fully dressed.
The whole scene was really disgusting.
The stench of blueberry vodka and vomit hit you in the face
as soon as you rounded the top of the stairs.
My rug and carpet in the livingroom with a big wet spot/stain.
I had just had my carpet cleaned.
So much for respect in my own home.
No 8-year-old should wake up to such a scene;
I had to make her stay upstairs till I took care of the mess.

She moved her stuff back to her Dads today. She told me she knows how to work her Dad, to connive to get what she wants through lies and deceit. She says her Dad at least provides her structure, and basically tells her what to do. I overhear her talking disrespectfully to him on the phone; I guess he gets what he deserves. I tell her she is 19, and should already have an inkling of where she wants to go in her life, not live recklessly in the moment, make plans, have a goal, strive to want things in her life, and try to deal with relationships in her life in an adult manner, quit running away and hiding from them. There is another complication here. She told her sister she is pregnant. I don't know the truth here. That is all we need, an unwanted child by a flighty and sociopathic-acting 19 year old who is definitely not ready for motherhood, and who may not make the right decision to get an abortion, or even tell anybody about it until it pops out. God help us.

I was shocked to see how manipulative and cold she had become, calm as a cucumber as I stood crying from hurt; just like her father. She lives for the "adrenalin rush" which will no doubt land her in some bad circumstances somewhere. She realizes this, and I told her she needs to guard against this 'manic type' wild behavior. I fear for her, I really do. I have done the best I can given what her Dad did not try to destroy between her and myself, but I will not have such disrespect ever in my home. This was not the first rodeo with this type of behavior. I told her that any group orgy or drunken party they wanted to have to rent themselves a motel room, not use my home in such a manner. I know she knows and feels love from me, no matter what she might say otherwise to hurt me. Her Dad is such a fool to believe anything she says and will justify everything she does, right or wrong. I, on the other hand, choose a different path. I do not condone such behaviors, never did, but choose to love and discipline no matter what age. Chronologically she may be 19, real life tells me she is more like 15 or 16 at best.

Got a hug to share? I don't know what my role is any more. No personal love in my life; if there had been a man in the house, this never would have happened. I think I'm just depressed myself with all the stuff I've had to deal with for the last few years. When will something good happen for me, I wonder. I am so much more than the drama around me. I have such a capacity to love, I don't deserve this mess. God never gives us more than we can handle they say, so I guess my silver lining is out there somewhere. Let happiness rain tears of joy, not sadness.

Young Love and Stonedness...

Meet Bobbi.  She is my youngest daughter, and quite the good-looker I must say.  She came across a picture of me at 35...well, not quite an attractive shot to say the least...LOL...

I cannot believe she posted this pic on facebook of all places! I was making a big smirk...probably at my ex...ha! by that time he was always pissing me off...don't know who snapped that one!


anyway...back to the story...

Bobbi starts talking about her boyfriend, who has other friends with whom he gets stoned with and how stupid they act and such stuff... and she tells me this...

When Evan got stoned, he went up to get a bowl of Cheerios...and he came back down and was freaking out that his Cheerios were sticking together! He was asking her to help him separate them...

hahahaha! You know you're either anal retentive, or really stoned, if you are freaking out over Cheerios and are trying to separate them! 

I told her next thing you know he'll be planting those to grow doughnuts! If you want to plant your own doughnut seeds, click here.

oops! I guess they took down Steve McGranahan's video on how to plant doughnuts seeds...darn. it was too funny.

Hope yuns have a good week.

Snit, Snot, Bitches...

Hormones are weird things in the workplace.  If my boss is having a extremely stressful day, she passes that tension on; otherwise, she's a real sweetheart.  Her and I go way back before this company ever merged, so we are familiar with each other.  I know her temperament, she knows mine.  We work well together.

By the time it was 5:30 p.m., she was apologizing to me for being "short and snippy," said she just had nobody she could take it out on, we laughed.  I know the pressure she is under, believe me, and I know the pressure I'll be under when she trapses off to India again for 8 weeks.  Yeah TWO Frickin' Months!!!!! 

Its been a few days of hooty wildness...snow, school closed, an 8-year-old driving me nuts, fighting and scratching, all while trying to do my job from home! You know how girls can be if they are getting on each others nerves, cooped up because of the snow. School had better be in session tomorrow! If that's not enough, my car died yesterday, deader than 4 o'clock.  It won't even turn over, and I haven't even dealt with that yet.  I suppose the weekend is right around the corner, maybe I can bribe a friend to check under the hood and see what is wrong. 

If I make one resolution this year, its to get a damn car! I'm tired of this constant worry with this vehicle.  She's been good to me though for many years now, but like all good things they must end, right? If you'd like to donate to the poor appalachian need-a-car fund, feel free. 

...and on that note, I'll end this. Hope ya'll are having a better week.

A Good Lesson To Learn

Tonight was Isabella's first football game as junior football league cheerleader.  There must have been 5,000 people there. It was first game of the Ashland High School Tomcats.  The junior football league alone, to include both football players and cheerleaders totaled over 500 kids.  It was a madhouse!

The Ashland Junior League cheerleaders came on the field and danced a cute little number called the cuban shuffle.  I was proud, she was one of the best dancers out there, but stuck way in the back.  She was on a dance team last year, and has got good rhythm.

After the dance, she wanted to sit with her little friends, a few bleachers sets to the right of where I was, which I was antsy about, but of course when I finally did meet up with her, she told me she was not ready to leave, and stomped off despite my telling her to come on.  I called after her and she kept going up and down bleachers, just ignoring me.  I was getting a little upset because I could not keep up with her, and I lost eyesight of her, and she got lost.   I had told her I wanted to leave at halftime. I was sick, not feeling well, having stomach pains all day.

I had people looking for her while I decided to stand in one place in case she happened by.  Even her coach was looking for her.  Coach couldn't find her, so I was headed to the page box when by chance, one of my daughter's friends comes up to me and says Isabella is over by the gate with some lady who is holding her hand consoling her, as she is crying, with two police officers and a security guard.  Come to find out Isabella recognized the lady as being one of the team workers, and confided to her that she was separated from me.  She was so relieved to see me, as I was her, however I wanted to spank her hindend for running off to begin with. 

"I'll never do that again, mamaw, I was so scared...."

It gave us the opportunity to discuss options about what to do in these scenarios. 

lesson learned.

Hillbillydom...lol

If you've never been "sniffed" by a rotten-two-toothed dirty hillbilly in tattered bibs, in a God forsaken place coz you're lost, you ain't been scared! Pa, can we keep 'er? uhh....yeah (true story).



Once upon a time, a hillbilly was traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over.

"You got any I.D.?" the officer asked."

"'Bout what?" the hillbilly replied.


What do hillbillies do all day? Watch this video to find out!



now, yuns rush right out and buy you some of them donut seeds! hahaha!

Madness Takes Its Toll...lol...

and it seems I never have the exact change!

Actually I don't want to get out of my bed most days, and after my last 9-minute attempt at silence, I get up, stumble to the coffeepot in search of salvation, try to muster the motivation to get through the day, and can't wait to get back home and crawl back in it...

with little BellaRose (whose 8) in the YMCA Kiddie Kamp she lasts about an hour to an hour and a half after she gets home in the evenings before she's fast asleep, and even though I'm not far behind her I'm still tired when I get up.  Must be this dang thyroid acting out again. 

By midday at work I'm done, ready for a nap, and coffee doesn't even perk me up.  

Yes, over the last few months I have taken on more responsibility both personally and professionally...it seems all I get done is doling out work to people, pushing paperwork, fixing boo-boos and typos, documenting reviews, listening to complainers, inbetween preparing breakfast, packing lunches and fixin' supper, and car rides to and fro...(with no air conditioner in my black, leather seated car with temps in the sweltering 90s) and its becoming a monotonous sweaty blurrr! even Calgon doesn't help...maybe I should let TWA take me away! far, far away!

Oh, and did I mention putting up with one drama after another in Hillbillydom due to an addicted daughter (she swears she is not but hasn't passed a drug test) and son-in-law (lets not even go there), workers from Social Services stopping by, and daily drama stories from the in-laws (more like outlaws) who are still enabling these two grown adults in their pursuit of brain numbing and non functioning do-lessness...its the stuff horror movies are made from...or comedies depending on which day. I wished they could all get a life and leave me out of theirs.  I have enough to contend with, taking care of an 8-year-old 24/7 and a job that never ends!

Yes, I have been pulling random reports for review on our own FQA proofers, as well as reviewing those offshore FQA and editors, grading, rating, averaging...I wonder...will we ever get direct uploaders offshore? not too many...it seems!

and how are our FQA independent contract proofers stacking up? They could be better according to mine and Deb's (my partner in crime) standards...it seems they get lazy and push reports through for the line count (because they get paid by the line), not taking the time to truly read only half-assing between the lines...perhaps we need to look for a few new FQA people...

My next question is..."Is there anybody out there interested in making me forget this madness?" apply within the sheets! LOL ... or if you're interesting in trying your hand at proofreading with excellent grammar skills,  medical knowledge, maybe even some proofing experience, then throw me an email!

Yes, its been a week that's for sure...new clients, no real client instructions on what they want...server and software issues, STAT reports...ugh...but its the weekend ...so I can throw this paperwork aside, and enjoy myself, perhaps take BellaRose to see Toy Story this weekend, and write that special friend a letter back.  Monday comes too soon with all its responsibilities, for now I am going to enjoy my coffee...listen to some jazz...you're welcome to relax with me. 

Whats in your weekend plans?

The jazz box has been removed, you can listen to it by clicking here.Then click in "The Green Room."


whatever your plans, much love to yuns 

Whose Birthday Is It?

Yep, its my birthday!

How old am I?

It seems kids always ask. I told my granddaughter, 

"I'm $49.95 plus shipping & handling!"

and this cartoon cracked me up! hahaha!

Hope everybody is having a good Monday.

the winter dead...

Today I happen to notice that it stayed daylight a little longer. I also heard that snow is expected here again tomorrow, but my mind is on the green of Spring, not the dead white of winter. I seek the promise of renewal that comes with Spring.

I guess with all the drama I've been through lately, to include the teen shenanigans over the last year, and now my grown daughter and her husband's struggle with drug addiction and legal issues this year, as well as Social Services involvement now and losing custody of their children temporarily, I am entitled to be a little dog-tired and stressed out with worry, not to mention adding in new responsibilities at work. It seems no sooner I can see the daylight with one daughter that darkness or hard times befalls the other. I do know that the good Lord never gives us more than we can handle, and he knows I got broad shoulders and a loving heart. I do have faith things will turn around for my daughter, hubby, and the kids. I just try to reassure my family, especially my two grandchildren, that things will work out.

bring on the green of Spring! I'm ready.

hello?

and where have I been hiding? 

ask me in about two weeks after I start this new position with the company I work for.  I'll more than likely be stressed out totally cause the QA supervisor is.  She has way too much responsibility and wants to delegate it to me, calling me up wanting me to be her right hand gal! More stress? More cash.  I told her unless it entailed a raise I would not be interested!

Cheers, Bloggers!

I am celebrating the return of my long lost car today FINALLY! as well as some closure to a nagging legal issue regarding my evil assed ex, and I have the documentation to prove it! Yes, for days, I will be celebrating my small victories and you might not see me for awhile cause I'll be out driving along in my automobile! I don't remember this video, but he looks young! They said this video is from 60s show 1963 or 64 on Belgium RTBF TV show named Face au Public.

Yep, me be thankful this Thanksgiving for the small victories! ha! and for good blog buddies who stop by and are encouraging, make me smile, and listen to my rants and such nonsense!

and why did the turkey not cross the road?

cause he was chicken!

bock bock! gobble-gobble!

Bottoms up! 

Life Lately in Urbappalachia...

It's been a blur of days, weeks, and drama-filled months here. If one kid isn't blowing up, it's another. I swear I was watching and reading about Venus Fly Traps and I thought to myself...I wonder if I could grow one big enough to feed family members to? After all they digest, leave no trace, it's perfect, right?! ... Yup, sometimes I wished I lived on another planet or was just crazy enough not to care at all, much less work...

Speaking of work, I am now a member of the QHC club. Instead of typing all day, my job will be worse?!

Yes, I will be initiated into the world of Quality Hub Control in two days.

My Mission: Login in, bring up the motherboard of documents that I will QA'ing by other Medical Transcriptionists (there are over a thousand), listen to the dictator, proof the document, make the changes, ship it off to cyberspace, and grade the quality of work by the transcriptionists (not by the report per se overall but with each error they make, huh?)... [[EMOTICON:SHOCK1]] [[EMOTICON:STUNNED1]]

No longer will I be typing, I will be more stressed out, right? It is unnerving as there is so much to learn in proofing materials (some doctors want this, some want that?) and the grading error scale. I don't think my brain is prepared for what is going to happen come Monday morning.

Get Ready. Set. Launch. Let's hope I don't get lost in space!

Give me encouragement



and in trade I will give you this~

a few Testimonials of people who should have kept their traps shut?!

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,

'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'

I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word...

He knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY :
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.

He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls!'

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'

My sister started to laugh hysterically.

The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.

To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished...

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,

'If you don't let me go right now,

I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.

The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven- month-old daughter, she was clean.

Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'.

I kept thinking, 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'

'No,' he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.

Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident?

This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled...

'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:

'So Bob , where's that 6 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

and that's all folks~!

Shocked at the Verdict ...

Unbelievable that the jury found this man "not guilty" of all counts. His Defense attorney planted the seed of "beyond a reasonable doubt." His high priced Defense attorney did a good job I'll have to say since I was there to see the whole damn thing. A lot of things got suppressed, and one of the victims couldn't go through with it. There were two of them originally. Even my daughter who is now 28 could not testify that he had "touched her" back when she was 12. Yes, he walks out a free man.

The teen?

She couldn't wait to run back to her Daddy, to the man to whom she feels no real love from. Why?

Like I said, I'm in shock and just sickened. I am sad to the innermost core. I don't when or if I can even blog about it, so I won't.

Full Blown Panic

I am sure most of you heard stories of people who have had panic attacks, maybe you know someone, or perhaps you have them.  What causes panic attacks?  Anxiety, stress, I guess any number of factors.  I can only remember having one panic attack my whole entire life and that was when I was going through a divorce and custody battle; I was in my doctor's office breaking down from all the stress.  It was a scary thing, panic. Of course he recognized what was happening and took steps to ensure that I did not go into a full blown panic attack. 

Panic attacks can occur out of the blue, which was the case with my eldest daughter this morning.  She didn't seem to be visibly upset emotionally but the first sign she had was uncontrollable shaking (or trembling), which after a few minutes escalated into rapid shallow breathing, then she complained her throat was closing off and/or she felt like she was going to pass out, have a seizure, stroke or something.  I had never witnessed such an episode up close and personal.  I felt helpless to watch her as she had no control whatsoever.   I know that both she and hubby a week ago were going through Suboxone withdrawal, and I thought perhaps she was going through something related to that, but after the attack, she assured me that she never had these type symptoms with drug withdrawal; she should know.

She became so very scared with all the symptomatology she was having, thinking she was going to pass out or die and wanted me to dial 9-1-1.  She was trembling uncontrollably, both her legs and arms, and entire body.  She was trying to drink a glass of water but couldn't even hold the glass.  I talked calmly to her, reassuring her that I thought it was a panic attack and that she would be okay.  I tried to get her to slow down her breathing, but the trembling/shaking was awful.

After calling 9-1-1 I told her to go into the living room and try to calm herself by lying down on the couch, gave her a blanket, and told her to once again focus on slowing down her breathing (in through the mouth, out through the nose slowly), and I tried to distract her with turning on the television.  After a few minutes, she finally improved and said she thought she was going to be okay, so I asked her if she wanted me to cancel EMS and she said yes, that she wanted to go home; however she was still in no shape to drive and complained of dizziness.  I called mother-in-law and told her what was going on, and she came and picked her up, driving the Jeep back home.

Funny thing, I don't even know what brought on this panic attack, other than her being stressed financially, as she had come by to use the phone.  She (aka Griszelda Mess) has never been diagnosed with a panic disorder.  She is continuing to be another source of worry for me here lately.  I wished that hubby of hers (aka Lord Spoiled) would straighten his ass up and take care of his family proper.

In other news, 'baby' did call today and I was sooo relieved to hear his voice.  He is having a hard time right now with stressors, I told him to join the crowd, that nothing ever changes here in Appalchian hell!   He said he was delayed in getting the money to me, but it was coming express mail, I was relieved, not so much because of the money but because he was allright.  I was getting worried.

As far as the car, baby told me to talk to Walter to make sure there was no transmission issue before we proceed to put a motor in.   Wouldn't that be a crock? Fix the motor and then the transmission blow up? That would be my luck...but God won't let that happen. Say it won't be so.

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Ladies and Gents, Chi-Chi looks at the news!

Same channel, same story, here. I got the paperwork from Gateway in the mail today where my teen is staying. I have to send and sign a few documents and mail them back off. I am not sure but I think this lady told me that visitation was only for 30 minutes on a Saturday? and you had to call ahead to schedule it? I just thought that was a little whacked out. Even in "juvey" here where I lived and the teen was before she was transferred, she got visitation one hour 3x a week, and phone calls every Fri, Sat, Sunday and Monday for 5 minutes. I think she is only allowed two phone calls a week in this new place. Wow. Considering I live an hour and half from this place, and that is quite a drive for me (when I get my car fixed), being allowed to visit for 30 minutes is hardly worth the trip (well other than for psyche reasons). I am going to have to make a few phones and see if a longer visitation can be arranged. Oh, and I have to call the lady down there who is in charge of schooling, as my daughter needs a Geometry credit!

In other news, a group came today to do my lawn, free of charge! It took them a whole 10 minutes. My friend Susie is going to hate me over this one, as she says she has to pay somebody 30 bucks to cut hers and I get my done for free! I guess living in the city has its perks. I got a phone call a few days back telling me that my name was given to them by the city, who did a repair fair here and put me in some deck steps (for free too!), and that this lawn care team would coming all season and probably next year too to do my lawn care! I was ecstatic! My lawn never looked so good!

Now, if I could just get my car running I would be happy camper. I have Walter, my mechanic, looking for a new motor and I have a friend who is loaning me the money to get it fixed, or should I say is giving me the money. I love him. We will be taking it out in trade! ha!

and that's it, folks!