Picked Bobbi up from school Thursday to tell her that her Dad was arrested. I did not want her to hear it from anybody else. She made the comment after not being relieved she was not going to juvenile (due to being a little obstinate after her counseling appt earlier in the day and not wanting to go back to school) was that of not being too surprised; said if he did that he was going to prison and she would not have a dad, but also stated to me that "I'm the daughter of a rapist..." She teared up but no obvious outbursts at all. She was not really fazed by this. Told me she cried in her bed at 2 a.m. early morning Friday, and just couldn't face school, so I didn't make her go. I called her off Friday. She shared news of her father's arrest this with her friend David, nonchalantly, not seeming sad at all really to me, and talked to her sister on the phone and in person while she was here. She was worried what people thought, that it was on the news which she watched on the website.
Today she commented to me that she had been so hurt for so long she could not feel anything anymore. She said she knew it was Sarah, that Sandy and the other girls would go to the movies and Sarah would stay at the house with him alone. I saw no empathy from her about any abuse that a kid might have suffered. She says she does not feel it, and then says she does but she cannot express it. I do not see it in her expression or actions. She concerns herself with heather and their supposed "liasion" in the basement ruminating over every little conversation and time they spent together. She opened up to me about it tonight while at the park. She also talked to Sandy, and Sandy is supposed to come over for an hour tomorrow (Sat) which is already is.
Bobbi called Sandy and she was at the house on Tarpin Ridge, obviously Dick was there as well, and they (Dick & Sandy) got into it over something and involved Bobbi Jo as she was on the phone with Sandy. Bobbi got mad texted her Uncle Dick about it, just going in circles once again with this stupid shit. Sandy is supposedly bringing a DVD Dick bought for Bobbi and sending her 40 bucks.
Bobbi didn't even know Dick was in town and was surprised to find this out. I don't know why Dick hasn't called here at all. Dick told Bobbi he was visiting friends up here, but she called him a liar. She told him not to be mean to Sandy. He never called to find out how Bobbi was with the news about her Dad's arrest or bother to ask me how Bobbi was. Sandy said she didn't even know he was there; she supposedly went to get more of her stuff so she just lets herself in out there?? She said he was taking over out there, something about the bank accts, paying the bills out there and watch over the house, blah, blah ... and then said something about Betty Gay. This was his mother's sister. I figure Dick is up to something. he has definitely got something up his sleeve, like introducing Bobbi back to her so-called family that even Bob kept her away from all these years because he didn't like them?? Perhaps Dickie boy is planning a picnic this weekend, wouldn't that be lovely? He also said something to Sandy about Uncle Rights? and why was Sandy seeing Bobbi? and Sandy said it was probably because she was no longer being investigated?
Sandy told me I needed to get a lawyer. She said that Dick was probably trying to post bail or move money. I told her that would be handled legally as far as Bobbi's vested interest and having her needs taken care of. She also told me that my lawyer Copley handled my ex's will? Bob's lawyer is Hughes. Sandy even told me she has a lawyer, and why? I'll find out tomorrow.
"How do I deal with being the daughter of a rapist?"
I was told by my daughter's Social Worker today that my daughter's father was arrested. The charges involve rape and sodomy of a child age 12 or less, and more charges are pending. Bastard!!!! If he did something to my baby, I'll kill him myself.
In order to spare her from hearing this at school or being text messaged inadvertently I decided to pick her up after school and tell her myself. I saw it on the 5 o'clock news today online, so did my friends. Bobbi Jo did not see it. I don't ever want her to see that if I can help it. How terribly sad for her, and for all of us really to have to live with this stigma. How dare him. It sickens me to my very core.
Her first reaction was one of anger, tears, wanting to know what exactly he was charged with, wanting to know which jail he was in, what would happen to the dog and even her hamster. I told her that surely there was someone taking care of that, probably Sandy, his newly divorced ex. She told me she knew he did it and he would go to prison and she would not have a Dad. It broke my heart.
This was my day. I haven't worked a full 8 hour day since Bobbi arrived here. She has needed my full attention. Next week it's lawyer details, trying to make sure Bobbi has some sort of future.
In order to spare her from hearing this at school or being text messaged inadvertently I decided to pick her up after school and tell her myself. I saw it on the 5 o'clock news today online, so did my friends. Bobbi Jo did not see it. I don't ever want her to see that if I can help it. How terribly sad for her, and for all of us really to have to live with this stigma. How dare him. It sickens me to my very core.
Her first reaction was one of anger, tears, wanting to know what exactly he was charged with, wanting to know which jail he was in, what would happen to the dog and even her hamster. I told her that surely there was someone taking care of that, probably Sandy, his newly divorced ex. She told me she knew he did it and he would go to prison and she would not have a Dad. It broke my heart.
This was my day. I haven't worked a full 8 hour day since Bobbi arrived here. She has needed my full attention. Next week it's lawyer details, trying to make sure Bobbi has some sort of future.
Finally we get the cat!
Sunday about 3:30, YAY~!
Sandy had called and left a message at noon, we didn't get back running errands until 2:30 or 3 ish. Anyway, I no sooner get home from running errands, and Sandy had left a message. So I call her back and I'm right back out the door. I told her before I left that I had a cat carrier, and I would meet her and she could go put the cat in that as all she had was a box. When we first me up, she expressed some apprehension about going out hoping not to avoid a confrontation and stating that perhaps she should take an officer with her, so I told her that if this was a real concern that perhaps she should NOT go out there, and we could work it out another way. First and foremost it is a safety issue knowing Bob's temper. I told her that Bobbi wanted her driving log as well, and expressed to her that it would be nice to have her birth certificate, SS card, and insurance card for the time being but that I could get those other ways if he was unwilling to provide them to me in order to obtain services for Bobbi.
I didn't time how long she was gone, but it was a fairly short trip as I ordered some chicken strips and fries in McDonald's and ate watching for her to pull back in. She did and we had a little chat. I expressed my concern over Bob's mental health as she obviously had reservations herself, and that since Bobbi is no longer out there, and he is volatile, I am concerned about Bobbi's first and foremost. Sandy had expressed to me the Friday after Bobbi was taken from there that she would not be surprised that when Bob realized he was going down that she felt he would try to kill himself. After all he is under investigation, and obviously under a lot of stress, and he can no longer control things or manipulate things, so I am afraid he will blow, he was always a pressure cooker, and perhaps even try to snatch or harm Bobbi should he think she might implicate him. It is also obvious that he hates me, always did, and that even my safety could become an issue. I just assumed that someone was watching him.
She is obviously upset with not being able to see Bobbi, and said that lady was stupid, one day she says this and the next day that meaning the social worker. She (meaning the social worker) has to make a judgment call, and it is like I told Sandy, at this point, it is about Bobbi, not any of us adults. Bobbi's social worker is just trying to help her.
Sandy had called and left a message at noon, we didn't get back running errands until 2:30 or 3 ish. Anyway, I no sooner get home from running errands, and Sandy had left a message. So I call her back and I'm right back out the door. I told her before I left that I had a cat carrier, and I would meet her and she could go put the cat in that as all she had was a box. When we first me up, she expressed some apprehension about going out hoping not to avoid a confrontation and stating that perhaps she should take an officer with her, so I told her that if this was a real concern that perhaps she should NOT go out there, and we could work it out another way. First and foremost it is a safety issue knowing Bob's temper. I told her that Bobbi wanted her driving log as well, and expressed to her that it would be nice to have her birth certificate, SS card, and insurance card for the time being but that I could get those other ways if he was unwilling to provide them to me in order to obtain services for Bobbi.
I didn't time how long she was gone, but it was a fairly short trip as I ordered some chicken strips and fries in McDonald's and ate watching for her to pull back in. She did and we had a little chat. I expressed my concern over Bob's mental health as she obviously had reservations herself, and that since Bobbi is no longer out there, and he is volatile, I am concerned about Bobbi's first and foremost. Sandy had expressed to me the Friday after Bobbi was taken from there that she would not be surprised that when Bob realized he was going down that she felt he would try to kill himself. After all he is under investigation, and obviously under a lot of stress, and he can no longer control things or manipulate things, so I am afraid he will blow, he was always a pressure cooker, and perhaps even try to snatch or harm Bobbi should he think she might implicate him. It is also obvious that he hates me, always did, and that even my safety could become an issue. I just assumed that someone was watching him.
She is obviously upset with not being able to see Bobbi, and said that lady was stupid, one day she says this and the next day that meaning the social worker. She (meaning the social worker) has to make a judgment call, and it is like I told Sandy, at this point, it is about Bobbi, not any of us adults. Bobbi's social worker is just trying to help her.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
At 7:15 ish Bobbi asked me about her cat, and if Sandy had called me. I said no but assured her that we would get her cat. I told her that perhaps she could call her uncle to ask him, which she did, however in the course of a few seconds she was upset. She handed the phone to me, and I addressed my concerns to Dick that I had left Sandy two voices messages and had even talked to her daughter yesterday, and I had also left a message for Sandy to call me this evening. I knew that Dick had provided Sandy with a cellphone and I told him I was just concerned that perhaps Sandy might be sick? expressing my concern as to why she did not return my phone messages, and that this was upsetting to Bobbi. I relayed the message to him to have Sandy call me to work out an arrangement to get the cat.
Dick calls her back while we are sitting at SuperAmerica and she answers him on her cellphone. I can tell by the conversation, which seemed to include more than about the cat, that Bobbi was upset, and when we get back home, she said that Dick called her Dad. I do not know the extent of their conversation. In my opinion, I think this was inappropriate of Dick to do instead of talking directly to me, or just relaying a simple message to Sandy to contact me.
I am always polite to Dick but he seems “fake” to me. As a matter of fact, when asked about people she trusts in counseling today, his name was not mentioned. He relayed to me in that conversation tonight that he had talked to people “up here” all day long; people he hadn’t talked to in years? It almost seemed he was insinuating something … I know her Dad is hating the fact that he doesn’t have control and perhaps he is scheming with his brother to fight for custody of Bobbi Jo. He seemed nervous and uncomfortable talking to me, even with my concerns over Bobbi. I feel in my gut something is wrong there, but I cannot put my finger on it.
When I took “Uncle Dick’s” cellphone away from Bobbi, I left it with my friend Susan, who works for the school system. That next day I saw a totally different kid. She was pleasant all day, we had a good day. My friend, who doesn’t know much about cellphones said Bobbi’s phone went off all hours of the night and day. I told her to look through it just a little since Bobbi seemed to be hiding stuff from me and acting out still, perhaps just stress, but you never know as a parent. I told Susie to write down anything concerning, and some of that included text messages from Dick.
18th at 7:30 a.m. “Reporting Uncle … phone name and address need for her medical emergency … “They will be there 8/23 …”
18th at 10:56 a.m. “I am afraid your mom will take your phone to cut off all contact with all of us. Write numbers down. I know her…” (4 minutes later) … his reply to something Bobbi said was … “Good" … "She wants back in the picture and there ain’t no room…”
I have always been up front with Dick, and even expressed to both him and to Sandy that should her aggressive verbal and physical behaviors not improve and I felt it appropriate to reduce her stress which I feel might be the cause, that I would take her cellphone. I had a conversation with him over this a few days back and I remember him saying Bobbi was his contact due to his health condition, and I stated to him that she did not need to be concerned about his health status, that she had other pressing issues that needed addressed, namely school, and that I was trying to parent, then he laughed hysterically, said he had just witnessed somebody fall down? I thought this very odd behavior and a little unnerving. To me these text messages were inappropriate behavior since she was in my home at the time this texting took place, and shows me that he is not on the level with me. This makes me very uneasy about him, or his possible motives as I received that text message on my land-line last just night from his cellphone number which said, “the money will be there tomorrow.”
My concerns are that of Bobbi’s safety and welfare, and as her mother I want contact stopped with him since his brother is the subject of investigation. Bobbi has even expressed to me that she thinks Dick is "mental." I have noticed over the last few days that her and I will have conversations and she will just forget details. I am really worried about her, but hopefully love will prevail here.
Dick calls her back while we are sitting at SuperAmerica and she answers him on her cellphone. I can tell by the conversation, which seemed to include more than about the cat, that Bobbi was upset, and when we get back home, she said that Dick called her Dad. I do not know the extent of their conversation. In my opinion, I think this was inappropriate of Dick to do instead of talking directly to me, or just relaying a simple message to Sandy to contact me.
I am always polite to Dick but he seems “fake” to me. As a matter of fact, when asked about people she trusts in counseling today, his name was not mentioned. He relayed to me in that conversation tonight that he had talked to people “up here” all day long; people he hadn’t talked to in years? It almost seemed he was insinuating something … I know her Dad is hating the fact that he doesn’t have control and perhaps he is scheming with his brother to fight for custody of Bobbi Jo. He seemed nervous and uncomfortable talking to me, even with my concerns over Bobbi. I feel in my gut something is wrong there, but I cannot put my finger on it.
When I took “Uncle Dick’s” cellphone away from Bobbi, I left it with my friend Susan, who works for the school system. That next day I saw a totally different kid. She was pleasant all day, we had a good day. My friend, who doesn’t know much about cellphones said Bobbi’s phone went off all hours of the night and day. I told her to look through it just a little since Bobbi seemed to be hiding stuff from me and acting out still, perhaps just stress, but you never know as a parent. I told Susie to write down anything concerning, and some of that included text messages from Dick.
18th at 7:30 a.m. “Reporting Uncle … phone name and address need for her medical emergency … “They will be there 8/23 …”
18th at 10:56 a.m. “I am afraid your mom will take your phone to cut off all contact with all of us. Write numbers down. I know her…” (4 minutes later) … his reply to something Bobbi said was … “Good" … "She wants back in the picture and there ain’t no room…”
I have always been up front with Dick, and even expressed to both him and to Sandy that should her aggressive verbal and physical behaviors not improve and I felt it appropriate to reduce her stress which I feel might be the cause, that I would take her cellphone. I had a conversation with him over this a few days back and I remember him saying Bobbi was his contact due to his health condition, and I stated to him that she did not need to be concerned about his health status, that she had other pressing issues that needed addressed, namely school, and that I was trying to parent, then he laughed hysterically, said he had just witnessed somebody fall down? I thought this very odd behavior and a little unnerving. To me these text messages were inappropriate behavior since she was in my home at the time this texting took place, and shows me that he is not on the level with me. This makes me very uneasy about him, or his possible motives as I received that text message on my land-line last just night from his cellphone number which said, “the money will be there tomorrow.”
My concerns are that of Bobbi’s safety and welfare, and as her mother I want contact stopped with him since his brother is the subject of investigation. Bobbi has even expressed to me that she thinks Dick is "mental." I have noticed over the last few days that her and I will have conversations and she will just forget details. I am really worried about her, but hopefully love will prevail here.
9:50 p.m. still waiting ...
I was told by Bobbi's social worker to contact Sandy regarding Bobbi's cat to get tonight. Right now, Bobbi is in the shower, after having been upset and still no phone call back to me about the cat, after my leaving two messages on Sandy's cell phone and talking with her daughter. Her daughter assured me that she would return my call as Sandy was coming over there. Earlier today, I was told by the social worker to contact Sandy about the cat. Still no phone call or cat at 10 o'clock at night. Bobbi was pretty torn up, displaying quite a bit of anger over it.
It's too bad the evening had to end this way, as we had had a really great day. It was so nice to see Bobbi so relaxed, and happy and hanging out with me and my girlfriend on the back porch talking and giggling. She got to see her sister today as well, who wants to take her driving some. Bobbi has been a trooper all day, not complaining once about the heat without air in my car. She was excited about changing schools, and intermittently sad about leaving behind some of her friends at BCHS.
Even a little while ago, Bobbi and I were sitting on the deck and "Charlotte" was making a web; it was pretty cool. We can't wait to see the web in the morning to see how extensive it is; cause it looked huge. She was so relaxed all day and evening, but as the time passed and no phone call back to meet about the cat she became a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde again, slamming doors, but upset mostly over her cat not being here. She did not believe that Sandy worked until 8:30, thinks it was all a lie, said she cannot be trusted. She asked me to call her Dad, but I refused to call him.
On the Dick front, he called this morning early to see if Bobbi was in school. I told him that I was doing everything I could and that getting her in school was my first priority, so all day we ran errands to get that accomplished, which we did. Blazer will be giving us a call tomorrow to finish the enrollment process. Dick seemed upbeat about it.
He called at 8:06 p.m. and asked me to ask Bobbi who was sitting here at the computer if she could text, and I relayed that yes she could. I told him that earlier today she said the phone was not working at all, and Bobbi was stressed about it, so getting her a phone today was also on the agenda and accomplished, and just what she wanted. She was happy about that. After we got back, she said Dick's phone was working again? I told Dick at 8:06 p.m. that I knew nothing of cell phones or texting, I asked him if he wanted to talk to her she was right here, and Bobbi says no, I'm sure he heard it as she is next to me, and I made some excuse for her bad manners being a teen and moody, even though I did encourage her to talk to him, I always do. He has called here multiple times and she has been rude to him, mostly short or sometimes just not even answering the phone when he calls. I get onto her about it. In our conversation at 8:06, he said he would text her goodnight we hung up. He said that most of their conversations are text anyway that it was the "in thing."
He called one more time (as the automated message was from his phone#) after that as a text landline message to my phone saying something about money, that it would be here tomorrow? I was on the other line talking to my girlfriend and I thought it might have been Sandy returning my phone call, so when I clicked in it told me it was a "text message?" and it said to click 1 which I did and the message came from Dick's phone number and said something about money. I came and handed the phone to Bobbi Jo, she hit 1 to hear it and then hit 3 which was to end the call. She said she didn't know anything about it. I asked her if she was expecting money from Dick which she denied. She says that he has sent her money, and I told her that if he was going to do that perhaps we should open an acct with her name on it, and he could just transfer what money he wants her to have. I think learning to keep a bank acct would be a good thing. When I had talked to Dick earlier he said nothing to me about money, so I don't know what that text was about.
Dick also called at 4:05 p.m., 2:12 p.m., (one time left a message), and 8:22 a.m. I answered the 8:22 a.m. phone call, and it was a new number for Dick this morning. We had a little bit of a conversation, discussing how important it was that she be in school, and I told him we were working on that issue today as she wanted to go to Paul Blazer, which we did! YAY!
It's too bad the evening had to end this way, as we had had a really great day. It was so nice to see Bobbi so relaxed, and happy and hanging out with me and my girlfriend on the back porch talking and giggling. She got to see her sister today as well, who wants to take her driving some. Bobbi has been a trooper all day, not complaining once about the heat without air in my car. She was excited about changing schools, and intermittently sad about leaving behind some of her friends at BCHS.
Even a little while ago, Bobbi and I were sitting on the deck and "Charlotte" was making a web; it was pretty cool. We can't wait to see the web in the morning to see how extensive it is; cause it looked huge. She was so relaxed all day and evening, but as the time passed and no phone call back to meet about the cat she became a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde again, slamming doors, but upset mostly over her cat not being here. She did not believe that Sandy worked until 8:30, thinks it was all a lie, said she cannot be trusted. She asked me to call her Dad, but I refused to call him.
On the Dick front, he called this morning early to see if Bobbi was in school. I told him that I was doing everything I could and that getting her in school was my first priority, so all day we ran errands to get that accomplished, which we did. Blazer will be giving us a call tomorrow to finish the enrollment process. Dick seemed upbeat about it.
He called at 8:06 p.m. and asked me to ask Bobbi who was sitting here at the computer if she could text, and I relayed that yes she could. I told him that earlier today she said the phone was not working at all, and Bobbi was stressed about it, so getting her a phone today was also on the agenda and accomplished, and just what she wanted. She was happy about that. After we got back, she said Dick's phone was working again? I told Dick at 8:06 p.m. that I knew nothing of cell phones or texting, I asked him if he wanted to talk to her she was right here, and Bobbi says no, I'm sure he heard it as she is next to me, and I made some excuse for her bad manners being a teen and moody, even though I did encourage her to talk to him, I always do. He has called here multiple times and she has been rude to him, mostly short or sometimes just not even answering the phone when he calls. I get onto her about it. In our conversation at 8:06, he said he would text her goodnight we hung up. He said that most of their conversations are text anyway that it was the "in thing."
He called one more time (as the automated message was from his phone#) after that as a text landline message to my phone saying something about money, that it would be here tomorrow? I was on the other line talking to my girlfriend and I thought it might have been Sandy returning my phone call, so when I clicked in it told me it was a "text message?" and it said to click 1 which I did and the message came from Dick's phone number and said something about money. I came and handed the phone to Bobbi Jo, she hit 1 to hear it and then hit 3 which was to end the call. She said she didn't know anything about it. I asked her if she was expecting money from Dick which she denied. She says that he has sent her money, and I told her that if he was going to do that perhaps we should open an acct with her name on it, and he could just transfer what money he wants her to have. I think learning to keep a bank acct would be a good thing. When I had talked to Dick earlier he said nothing to me about money, so I don't know what that text was about.
Dick also called at 4:05 p.m., 2:12 p.m., (one time left a message), and 8:22 a.m. I answered the 8:22 a.m. phone call, and it was a new number for Dick this morning. We had a little bit of a conversation, discussing how important it was that she be in school, and I told him we were working on that issue today as she wanted to go to Paul Blazer, which we did! YAY!
worried about daughter's stress level
so I took her cellphone away. She was irate about it demanding to know where it was and who had it. She threatened to break things and then would smirk and almost laugh. She did throw my house phone at one point and dent the wall. As a matter of everybody else was worried about her phone as well, I figured this might happen. Even her uncle called from Florida wanting to talk to her. I was questioned by her uncle as to why I had taken it away. I didn't feel it appropriate for him to ask me, he told me that he uses it as a tool to communicate with Bobbi about his diabetes should he have a problem? I told him that right now Bobbi had enough stress and she didn't need any added stress worrying about his health? and as her parent I felt it appropriate to remove her cellphone at this time. She had missed two days of school already and was adamant about not wanting to go tomorrow to school, and I said something about trying to parent her and he laughed? He wanted to talk with her but she didn't talk to him. When he called, she was still upset and basically had a meltdown throwing things, called her Dad once and was upstairs in my closet talking to him, and I think she was even trying to hurt herself which she denies as she has welts on her wrists. At one point she goes into the kitchen into the silverware drawer acts like she has something and starts up the stairs. I am worried that she could try to hurt herself and genuinely try to address this with her and she laughs. I am really really worried about this child. Her Uncle Dick said he would get her another one, and would contact her another way, probably school? I find that odd that he is undermining my authority with Bobbi. He is paying for her cellphone as well. However, she called her dad while sitting here a bit ago and asked him why he had Uncle Dick call? She was still angry on the phone with her Dad even. I don't understand all these behaviors. Last night she didn't get to sleep until midnight. I noticed she texts and tries to hide it, and I am a little concerned about what might be going on. I think somebody really ought to look into that cellphone a little further myself. Her dad and her were discussing who they thought had her cellphone, and why would he be worrying about it? or Sandy, she kept telling him to tell Sandy to "chill out" ?? why is Sandy back out to Bobs?
It's all very confusing to me.
It's all very confusing to me.
No school again today ...
Bobbi was up at 5:30 ish ... did not want to go to school. I had to call the school again and call her off. I talked to her counselor, told them she was living with me, her mother in Ashland and there was a change of residence involved, as well as personal issues and wondered if perhaps a meeting was in order to try to determine why Bobbi did not want to come to school in case it was academic or intellectual abilities. I then called the investigator. She said I needed to call this other lady who has also been put on the case due to the massivness of which it is being investigated, which I did and left her a voice mail. I have heard nothing all day long. I don't know if Bobbi will go to school tomorrow or not. It doesn't look like it. She says not, and I guess I am supposed to be a bully about it.
I told the investigator that I cannot even talk to Bobbi's counselor at school about Bobbi because I don't have authority as I am not on any of her paperwork out there. I was told this by the counselor as well. The investigator told me they would take care of things, including my being the primary custodial parent, abolishing child support and perhaps even going as far as to put a no contact order in. The investigator was upset that the school would not even talk to me about Bobbi. The investigator also told that the case was very serious and that Bobbi would probably end up here permanently. I told her that every time Bobbi got off the cell phone with "them" she would slam doors, act out, and that until she talked or got her priorities straight they need to cut off any connection to him. Bobbi has not really confided to me as she has trust issues. The investigator said she will have to have psychological testing and counseling. We also talked about Bob's manipulation and control issues.
She has prissed around here all day long, doing absolutely nothing except watching tv, playing her video games, and has talked to Sandy I believe, and said her Dad is going to call. Dick has also been texting.
I told the investigator that I cannot even talk to Bobbi's counselor at school about Bobbi because I don't have authority as I am not on any of her paperwork out there. I was told this by the counselor as well. The investigator told me they would take care of things, including my being the primary custodial parent, abolishing child support and perhaps even going as far as to put a no contact order in. The investigator was upset that the school would not even talk to me about Bobbi. The investigator also told that the case was very serious and that Bobbi would probably end up here permanently. I told her that every time Bobbi got off the cell phone with "them" she would slam doors, act out, and that until she talked or got her priorities straight they need to cut off any connection to him. Bobbi has not really confided to me as she has trust issues. The investigator said she will have to have psychological testing and counseling. We also talked about Bob's manipulation and control issues.
She has prissed around here all day long, doing absolutely nothing except watching tv, playing her video games, and has talked to Sandy I believe, and said her Dad is going to call. Dick has also been texting.
Sunday's verbage
Friday I let Bobbi's stepmother come over to see her; my first impressions was that she was talking babyish to Bobbi, coddling her, even overlooking her bad behaviors and her moodiness. Bobbi said something about her spending the night, considering she didn't have a place to live since leaving her Dad's so I reluctantly let her stay. It was her and Misty. I noticed Misty's speech was a little slurred and her pupils were very large; I thought perhaps both she and her mother had "had a few" but I guess no big deal, who knows.
Just a little bit ago I got off the phone with Sandy and I asked her to back off a little and give Bobbi time to adjust, and we discussed this trust issue, and I told her at this point Bobbi does not trust her not to report back to her Dad, and that her Dad was asking her "why" Sandy had not been here?? Today while on the phone with her daughter bobbi jo said to me, "tell him ... tell him that Sandy hasn't been here in two days" then handed her cellphone to me. I thought it rather strange that he thinks Sandy needs? to be here? it's ridiculous. There's too much strange crap here.
I have noticed that Bobbi seems to get more upset when around Sandy, or talking to her dad or Sandy on the phone. It's ridiculous that between them they have called 12 times today? Bobbi Jo said she called them 3 times. Once about a job, once about her computer, and for some other reason she said.
I really need to talk to this investigator, and ask her specifically what I can do about them contacting Bobbi, so her mood improves and she can function with a clear mind instead of worrying about everything she says being monitored or who she can trust. At this point, she does not trust Sandy, and Sandy even told me to tell Bobbi not to tell her Dad where Sandy is.
Just a little bit ago I got off the phone with Sandy and I asked her to back off a little and give Bobbi time to adjust, and we discussed this trust issue, and I told her at this point Bobbi does not trust her not to report back to her Dad, and that her Dad was asking her "why" Sandy had not been here?? Today while on the phone with her daughter bobbi jo said to me, "tell him ... tell him that Sandy hasn't been here in two days" then handed her cellphone to me. I thought it rather strange that he thinks Sandy needs? to be here? it's ridiculous. There's too much strange crap here.
I have noticed that Bobbi seems to get more upset when around Sandy, or talking to her dad or Sandy on the phone. It's ridiculous that between them they have called 12 times today? Bobbi Jo said she called them 3 times. Once about a job, once about her computer, and for some other reason she said.
I really need to talk to this investigator, and ask her specifically what I can do about them contacting Bobbi, so her mood improves and she can function with a clear mind instead of worrying about everything she says being monitored or who she can trust. At this point, she does not trust Sandy, and Sandy even told me to tell Bobbi not to tell her Dad where Sandy is.
Saturday, August 16th
My daughter just got upset on the phone after talking to her Dad, slammed the phone down and ran upstairs slamming doors. Her father calls back, wanting to talk to her, I tell him it is not a good idea right now as she is obviously upset. He accused me of NOT LETTING him talk to her, I told him no that I was not trying to do that, however while standing here and witnessing the whole conversation between them only on this end it was obvious that my daughter was wanting to know what was going on, and said it must be pretty bad if two investigators and a policeman were out there. He knew that he was NOT to discuss this with her, and obviously this is upsetting to her, which I do understand. Perhaps it is not such a good idea that she talk to him at all until this is over. She has me for God's sakes. The whole purpose behind calling out there to begin with was to check and see if a job offer had come in, only to start on that other topic of conversation and become upset. I'm sure he had it recorded.
The Investigation Begins...
It seems that today my ex-asshole is being investigated, and they "the state people," one female, one male investigator, wanted our daughter to come stay with me until they finish their investigation. God only knows what is going on. Bobbi was in a horribly angry state when I got out there lashing out at everybody slamming doors and such, but by the time I get her here she was fine. She had not eaten so we got something to eat. She's upstairs in the shower. I am expecting the lady from the State to come visit Bobbi here tomorrow. Bobbi is just not able to go to school, she is just emotionally drained and cannot concentrate. It seems she went through some rather intense questioning out there according to the lady who called me. I wonder if perhaps a foster kid pointed a finger at Bob about something. However at this point there are no foster kids out there as Bob and Sandy are getting a divorce, and Sandy is working. It's all very strange but I won't know anything until tomorrow.
I was told by the female investigator to monitor any calls Bobbi had with her dad.
I was told by the female investigator to monitor any calls Bobbi had with her dad.
What In The World?
It seems that today my ex-asshole is being investigated, and they "the state people," one female, one male investigator, wanted our daughter to come stay with me until they finish their investigation. God only knows what is going on. Bobbi was in a horribly angry state when I got out there lashing out at everybody slamming doors and such, but by the time I get her here she was fine. She had not eaten so we got something to eat. She's upstairs in the shower. I am expecting the lady from the State to come visit Bobbi here tomorrow. Bobbi is just not able to go to school, she is just emotionally drained and cannot concentrate. It seems she went through some rather intense questioning out there according to the lady who called me. I wonder if perhaps a foster kid pointed a finger at Bob about something. However at this point there are no foster kids out there as Bob and Sandy are getting a divorce, and Sandy is working. It's all very strange but I won't know anything until tomorrow.
I was told by the female investigator to monitor any calls Bobbi had with her dad.
I was told by the female investigator to monitor any calls Bobbi had with her dad.
A Brillant Seclusion ...
I don't know how I ended up at deviant art tonight, but they have some interesting photomanipulation and other categories in there and you can embed. I am drawn to Fractal and Digital Art and Abstracts for some strange reason. Brilliant Seclusion by *ccdigitalfx on deviantART
Anyway, this picture caught my eye out surfing! wow, when I get this photoshop thing installed I'll be able to manipulate photographs as well, I think it could be a lot of fun!
I saw a past ghost today ...
In that split second before I walked in the house, it dawned on me who he was.
Did he recognize me? I think he did. I think we were both surprised. To say I was shocked would be more like it. I remember the same thing happening before, that I would just run smack into him if I was out and about ... or he would just "show up out of the blue." Strange how that happens and why it happened today especially after nearly 10, no 11 years? ...
Actually I was on lunch break, and my daughter and son in law had stopped in. I noticed my connection to the Internet was not working. They only stayed a few minutes and left, as they were in town running some errands and needed a bathroom relief. Anyway, after they had left I had momentarily tried to rehook to the internet but to no avail. When reaching for the phone to call the phone company about my DSL, I realized I had no phone connection? I was confused about what perhaps could be going on, so I rushed out the backdoor and onto the deck, hoping that daughter and son in law were in the garage (as they usually are) as their things are still stored there, and I hollered "Rae?"
I noticed some man had walked from the side of my garage up towards my deck and to the side of my house? At first I didn't think much of it except that perhaps he was cutting through my yard to access a neighbor. I thought how strange, he said there was no "Ray" ... I informed him I was looking for my daughter, and I noticed he had was carrying this yellow "bag" thing that I associated with utility workers, so I asked him if he was from the phone company, that I had just tried to call and that I didn't have phone service, nor internet service ... and that was strange ... I mumbled around asking him if he was working on the lines or something. He told me he was there for put a line in for Apt. 3, and then I sorta of realized he must have meant next door, however why he would cut through my yard unless he was lost I didn't know.
He asked me how long I had been living here? I thought that kind of strange...I mumbled some stupid answer as I locked my gaze in his direction catching those blue eyes of his... and then it hit me like a ton of bricks... how could I have forgotten those piercing blue eyes? I mumbled something like 8 years which was not right, or course, but it came off the top of my head ... Why did I say that? and why would he suddenly just appear at the wrong address rehashing memories for me I had tried so hard to bury.
Why now? Were we supposed to finally give one another an opportunity to clear the air between us because of an incident 11 years ago? Neither one of us took that initiative I guess not knowing whether it was best to just let sleeping dogs lie. I was hoping that maybe he wouldn't see any recognition in my face as to who he was. I probably could not have talked to him about it without breaking down even if he had tried to. Anyway he knows where I am now. I don't know what this means or even why our paths had crossed today after 11 years..
All I know is that when I came back in and went upstairs and cleaned up a little, put clean clothes, thinking I was going to have to walk up to the phone company a block away to report my down service, it miraculously came back on! I had full service to include phone and internet. I was thankful for no down time so my workday could be completed without incident. However I attributed it to the fact that he had hit a wrong button somewhere. In all this time our paths had not crossed for 10 years, so why today?
Only recently was I talking to my girlfriend about this whole incident that happened 11 years ago on top of my going through a bitter divorce, having my eldest daughter in foster care because of my soon to be ex, and grieving my father's death just a few months earlier. Yes, it was a very emotionally trying time for me, a time when I was very sick physically and emotionally. I was just telling her how much I needed to come to terms with what happened and close the book on that chapter. Was this part of a master plan on God's [plan for me to heal this between us after 11 years because he waltzed in my yard today?
I don't know, it's all so very strange.
Did he recognize me? I think he did. I think we were both surprised. To say I was shocked would be more like it. I remember the same thing happening before, that I would just run smack into him if I was out and about ... or he would just "show up out of the blue." Strange how that happens and why it happened today especially after nearly 10, no 11 years? ...
Actually I was on lunch break, and my daughter and son in law had stopped in. I noticed my connection to the Internet was not working. They only stayed a few minutes and left, as they were in town running some errands and needed a bathroom relief. Anyway, after they had left I had momentarily tried to rehook to the internet but to no avail. When reaching for the phone to call the phone company about my DSL, I realized I had no phone connection? I was confused about what perhaps could be going on, so I rushed out the backdoor and onto the deck, hoping that daughter and son in law were in the garage (as they usually are) as their things are still stored there, and I hollered "Rae?"
I noticed some man had walked from the side of my garage up towards my deck and to the side of my house? At first I didn't think much of it except that perhaps he was cutting through my yard to access a neighbor. I thought how strange, he said there was no "Ray" ... I informed him I was looking for my daughter, and I noticed he had was carrying this yellow "bag" thing that I associated with utility workers, so I asked him if he was from the phone company, that I had just tried to call and that I didn't have phone service, nor internet service ... and that was strange ... I mumbled around asking him if he was working on the lines or something. He told me he was there for put a line in for Apt. 3, and then I sorta of realized he must have meant next door, however why he would cut through my yard unless he was lost I didn't know.
He asked me how long I had been living here? I thought that kind of strange...I mumbled some stupid answer as I locked my gaze in his direction catching those blue eyes of his... and then it hit me like a ton of bricks... how could I have forgotten those piercing blue eyes? I mumbled something like 8 years which was not right, or course, but it came off the top of my head ... Why did I say that? and why would he suddenly just appear at the wrong address rehashing memories for me I had tried so hard to bury.
Why now? Were we supposed to finally give one another an opportunity to clear the air between us because of an incident 11 years ago? Neither one of us took that initiative I guess not knowing whether it was best to just let sleeping dogs lie. I was hoping that maybe he wouldn't see any recognition in my face as to who he was. I probably could not have talked to him about it without breaking down even if he had tried to. Anyway he knows where I am now. I don't know what this means or even why our paths had crossed today after 11 years..
All I know is that when I came back in and went upstairs and cleaned up a little, put clean clothes, thinking I was going to have to walk up to the phone company a block away to report my down service, it miraculously came back on! I had full service to include phone and internet. I was thankful for no down time so my workday could be completed without incident. However I attributed it to the fact that he had hit a wrong button somewhere. In all this time our paths had not crossed for 10 years, so why today?
Only recently was I talking to my girlfriend about this whole incident that happened 11 years ago on top of my going through a bitter divorce, having my eldest daughter in foster care because of my soon to be ex, and grieving my father's death just a few months earlier. Yes, it was a very emotionally trying time for me, a time when I was very sick physically and emotionally. I was just telling her how much I needed to come to terms with what happened and close the book on that chapter. Was this part of a master plan on God's [plan for me to heal this between us after 11 years because he waltzed in my yard today?
I don't know, it's all so very strange.
I saw a past ghost today ...
In that split second before I walked in the house, it dawned on me who he was.
Did he recognize me? I think he did. I think we were both surprised. To say I was shocked would be more like it. I remember the same thing happening before, that I would just run smack into him if I was out and about ... or he would just "show up out of the blue." Strange how that happens and why it happened today especially after nearly 10, no 11 years? ...
Actually I was on lunch break, and my daughter and son in law had stopped in. I noticed my connection to the Internet was not working. They only stayed a few minutes and left, as they were in town running some errands and needed a bathroom relief. Anyway, after they had left I had momentarily tried to rehook to the internet but to no avail. When reaching for the phone to call the phone company about my DSL, I realized I had no phone connection? I was confused about what perhaps could be going on, so I rushed out the backdoor and onto the deck, hoping that daughter and son in law were in the garage (as they usually are) as their things are still stored there, and I hollered "Rae?"
I noticed some man had walked from the side of my garage up towards my deck and to the side of my house? At first I didn't think much of it except that perhaps he was cutting through my yard to access a neighbor. I thought how strange, he said there was no "Ray" ... I informed him I was looking for my daughter, and I noticed he had was carrying this yellow "bag" thing that I associated with utility workers, so I asked him if he was from the phone company, that I had just tried to call and that I didn't have phone service, nor internet service ... and that was strange ... I mumbled around asking him if he was working on the lines or something. He told me he was there for put a line in for Apt. 3, and then I sorta of realized he must have meant next door, however why he would cut through my yard unless he was lost I didn't know.
He asked me how long I had been living here? I thought that kind of strange...I mumbled some stupid answer as I locked my gaze in his direction catching those blue eyes of his... and then it hit me like a ton of bricks... how could I have forgotten those piercing blue eyes? I mumbled something like 8 years which was not right, or course, but it came off the top of my head ... Why did I say that? and why would he suddenly just appear at the wrong address rehashing memories for me I had tried so hard to bury.
Why now? Were we supposed to finally give one another an opportunity to clear the air between us because of an incident 11 years ago? Neither one of us took that initiative I guess not knowing whether it was best to just let sleeping dogs lie. I was hoping that maybe he wouldn't see any recognition in my face as to who he was. I probably could not have talked to him about it without breaking down even if he had tried to. Anyway he knows where I am now. I don't know what this means or even why our paths had crossed today after 11 years..
All I know is that when I came back in and went upstairs and cleaned up a little, put clean clothes, thinking I was going to have to walk up to the phone company a block away to report my down service, it miraculously came back on! I had full service to include phone and internet. I was thankful for no down time so my workday could be completed without incident. However I attributed it to the fact that he had hit a wrong button somewhere. In all this time our paths had not crossed for 10 years, so why today?
Only recently was I talking to my girlfriend about this whole incident that happened 11 years ago on top of my going through a bitter divorce, having my eldest daughter in foster care because of my soon to be ex, and grieving my father's death just a few months earlier. Yes, it was a very emotionally trying time for me, a time when I was very sick physically and emotionally. I was just telling her how much I needed to come to terms with what happened and close the book on that chapter. Was this part of a master plan on God's [plan for me to heal this between us after 11 years because he waltzed in my yard today?
I don't know, it's all so very strange.
Did he recognize me? I think he did. I think we were both surprised. To say I was shocked would be more like it. I remember the same thing happening before, that I would just run smack into him if I was out and about ... or he would just "show up out of the blue." Strange how that happens and why it happened today especially after nearly 10, no 11 years? ...
Actually I was on lunch break, and my daughter and son in law had stopped in. I noticed my connection to the Internet was not working. They only stayed a few minutes and left, as they were in town running some errands and needed a bathroom relief. Anyway, after they had left I had momentarily tried to rehook to the internet but to no avail. When reaching for the phone to call the phone company about my DSL, I realized I had no phone connection? I was confused about what perhaps could be going on, so I rushed out the backdoor and onto the deck, hoping that daughter and son in law were in the garage (as they usually are) as their things are still stored there, and I hollered "Rae?"
I noticed some man had walked from the side of my garage up towards my deck and to the side of my house? At first I didn't think much of it except that perhaps he was cutting through my yard to access a neighbor. I thought how strange, he said there was no "Ray" ... I informed him I was looking for my daughter, and I noticed he had was carrying this yellow "bag" thing that I associated with utility workers, so I asked him if he was from the phone company, that I had just tried to call and that I didn't have phone service, nor internet service ... and that was strange ... I mumbled around asking him if he was working on the lines or something. He told me he was there for put a line in for Apt. 3, and then I sorta of realized he must have meant next door, however why he would cut through my yard unless he was lost I didn't know.
He asked me how long I had been living here? I thought that kind of strange...I mumbled some stupid answer as I locked my gaze in his direction catching those blue eyes of his... and then it hit me like a ton of bricks... how could I have forgotten those piercing blue eyes? I mumbled something like 8 years which was not right, or course, but it came off the top of my head ... Why did I say that? and why would he suddenly just appear at the wrong address rehashing memories for me I had tried so hard to bury.
Why now? Were we supposed to finally give one another an opportunity to clear the air between us because of an incident 11 years ago? Neither one of us took that initiative I guess not knowing whether it was best to just let sleeping dogs lie. I was hoping that maybe he wouldn't see any recognition in my face as to who he was. I probably could not have talked to him about it without breaking down even if he had tried to. Anyway he knows where I am now. I don't know what this means or even why our paths had crossed today after 11 years..
All I know is that when I came back in and went upstairs and cleaned up a little, put clean clothes, thinking I was going to have to walk up to the phone company a block away to report my down service, it miraculously came back on! I had full service to include phone and internet. I was thankful for no down time so my workday could be completed without incident. However I attributed it to the fact that he had hit a wrong button somewhere. In all this time our paths had not crossed for 10 years, so why today?
Only recently was I talking to my girlfriend about this whole incident that happened 11 years ago on top of my going through a bitter divorce, having my eldest daughter in foster care because of my soon to be ex, and grieving my father's death just a few months earlier. Yes, it was a very emotionally trying time for me, a time when I was very sick physically and emotionally. I was just telling her how much I needed to come to terms with what happened and close the book on that chapter. Was this part of a master plan on God's [plan for me to heal this between us after 11 years because he waltzed in my yard today?
I don't know, it's all so very strange.
The Red Shoes ...
This picture reminds me so much of my little Bobbi as she had a pair of little red shoes when she started kindergarten. She loved those shoes. I remember her first day of kindergarten, and my how the years pass, as Wednesday she will be starting her junior year in high school, and with no red shoes! A phone call to see if she was up and getting ready to go to the mall to have her eyebrows waxed and maybe get her hair trimmed at a little after noon, revealed she was in the bed? Good grief! She is going to have to adjust her sleeping schedules to get back into the rhythm of school. After another phone call an hour later, she is a bit grouchy and has a little attitude, so I simply say, call me back if and when you change your attitude and maybe I'll be here to take you and maybe not. I told her that life does not totally revolve just around her and that I had errands to run myself, and tomorrow would not be good for me as I had other plans after work. One of which is to get those labs done at the local hospital.
Well that's all it took. Within the next little bit she called back to apologize and it was nearly another hour (and another phone call by me) before she was actually "ready" to go. I told her all she needed to do was pull her hair up in a pony tail and put some clean clothes on and go! What could be so hard about that? and why does it have to take two hours?
The drive out was there was nice, gasing up the car was a little pricey, but the day was much less humid just absolutely gorgeous weather here; a 5-star weather day. Needless to say by the time I picked her up she was in much better spirits and 51 bucks later, I now have refurbished all my hair supplies and she has no stray hairs in her eyebrows! We are both happy! Sometimes I wished she would slow down the growing up process. I think I'll go pull out some of her pictures, or better yet a few videos, of when she was little and so cute and with much less attitude!
actually she had a few pairs of red shoes! however, when she was so little and would step on my toes, and now she steps on my heart sometimes at 16, almost 17. Wow, I can't believe she has grown up so fast. It makes me feel really old, too.
and here she is ...*drumroll* Miss Sassy Ass! (picture taken summer 2009)
Supporting My Local Starving Artist ...
This afternoon my doorbell rang, and I was surprised to see an entire family? on my front porch. At first I thought it might be a fundraiser or religious group of some sort, and I was greeted by a little pint-sized salesman of maybe 7 years of age or thereabouts, clutching a bunch of papers...
Of course, there was infamous opening line, "would you like to buy?" and my first impulse is always 'go away I don't want any' ... LOL ... but he was selling his own unique artwork! and who could resist such a great price of 10 cents?
Sold to the highest bidder!
I never really even looked at for a while, and I got to thinking why didn't I find out more about this budding artist? heck, he might even be famous one of these days! perhaps I should have bought all of his unique creations.
Now, let's interpret this piece of art by this unknown artist. I have to admit I've been feeling a little shitty lately, but isn't that a toilet? ...
a monster pirate in the bathroom?
too funny~!
Of course, there was infamous opening line, "would you like to buy?" and my first impulse is always 'go away I don't want any' ... LOL ... but he was selling his own unique artwork! and who could resist such a great price of 10 cents?
Sold to the highest bidder!
I never really even looked at for a while, and I got to thinking why didn't I find out more about this budding artist? heck, he might even be famous one of these days! perhaps I should have bought all of his unique creations.
Now, let's interpret this piece of art by this unknown artist. I have to admit I've been feeling a little shitty lately, but isn't that a toilet? ...
a monster pirate in the bathroom?
too funny~!
It's Time For An Update Here ...
In the last few weeks, my son-in-law has gotten a job, my daughter has straightened up nicely after giving up those Klonopin to help with "nerves" and seems back to her old self. Thank goodness, I was really getting worried.
Sometimes I am a little more dramatic than I need to be I guess, or just more sensitive here lately. My daughter was interested in taking EMT classes, but when they found out she had a felony for some bad checks, they denied her the opportunity to take classes to become an EMT. While she is not a criminal per se and that charge was reduced (or so I thought), it still shows up on her record which I didn't know. You see, if it weren't for me, that charge would not have been on there.
Back a few years ago, before she got pregnant (let's see little Bella is 6) so it was I guess closer to 7 1/2 years ago, she was in an abusive relationship, and spiraling downward with the wrong people, stealing, pawning stuff, God only knows. She came into my apartment one day by telling my landlord a big story, stole my checks, and along with some other girl wrote and cashed them, and had themselves a big dope party I guess. Anyway my bank balance went from 1000 bucks to zero. I was livid at that point, and I filed charges wanting to teach her a lesson, but more importantly to slow her down to keep her from killing herself. My boyfriend at the time, whom she lived with and I later married, was worried sick as she stayed wherever we never knew if we were going to get THAT phone call telling us that well ... that never happened, but it was hell for a year seemed like, taking its toll more on him ... on her ... on all of us...
Anyway, I was told by authorities that this was happening to the parents of adult children in this area, and that there so many just smacked their hands instead of having them arrested and perhaps waking them up to the cold reality that they would face if they kept on with this type of behavior, so I opted to teach her a lesson and throw her butt in jail. I was told this was the right thing to do, and even though I hated to do it, I feel compelled to at least try to save her. It was the worst Mother's Day ever the day they came to pick her up. My heart was broken but I would have rather seen her in jail drying out and hopefully slowing her down and giving her time to come off the IV drug she was using. It worked she came out clean, and not too much after that time she was found to be pregnant with my first granddaughter and she stayed drug-free. I hoped and prayed that little Isabella would be normal and she was. She is exceptionally bright too, but I wonder in what way perhaps not yet seen that drugs might play a part.
However, I guess in court, my perception of what was supposed to happen didn't and it still shows up on her record causing her to look like a felon. I thought that if they amended it down it would not show as a felony record, so now I feel so guilty and I'm distraught over perhaps destroying the chance for her to have any kind of future. All because I was stupid and didn't understand fully what was happening at the time.
***another update***
My friend has a friend who works at the courthouse, and she told me that if there was nothing on her record for five years that this could be expunged, which means removed like it never happened ever. I was relieved, and will certainly look into having that done at this point.
Sometimes I am a little more dramatic than I need to be I guess, or just more sensitive here lately. My daughter was interested in taking EMT classes, but when they found out she had a felony for some bad checks, they denied her the opportunity to take classes to become an EMT. While she is not a criminal per se and that charge was reduced (or so I thought), it still shows up on her record which I didn't know. You see, if it weren't for me, that charge would not have been on there.
Back a few years ago, before she got pregnant (let's see little Bella is 6) so it was I guess closer to 7 1/2 years ago, she was in an abusive relationship, and spiraling downward with the wrong people, stealing, pawning stuff, God only knows. She came into my apartment one day by telling my landlord a big story, stole my checks, and along with some other girl wrote and cashed them, and had themselves a big dope party I guess. Anyway my bank balance went from 1000 bucks to zero. I was livid at that point, and I filed charges wanting to teach her a lesson, but more importantly to slow her down to keep her from killing herself. My boyfriend at the time, whom she lived with and I later married, was worried sick as she stayed wherever we never knew if we were going to get THAT phone call telling us that well ... that never happened, but it was hell for a year seemed like, taking its toll more on him ... on her ... on all of us...
Anyway, I was told by authorities that this was happening to the parents of adult children in this area, and that there so many just smacked their hands instead of having them arrested and perhaps waking them up to the cold reality that they would face if they kept on with this type of behavior, so I opted to teach her a lesson and throw her butt in jail. I was told this was the right thing to do, and even though I hated to do it, I feel compelled to at least try to save her. It was the worst Mother's Day ever the day they came to pick her up. My heart was broken but I would have rather seen her in jail drying out and hopefully slowing her down and giving her time to come off the IV drug she was using. It worked she came out clean, and not too much after that time she was found to be pregnant with my first granddaughter and she stayed drug-free. I hoped and prayed that little Isabella would be normal and she was. She is exceptionally bright too, but I wonder in what way perhaps not yet seen that drugs might play a part.
However, I guess in court, my perception of what was supposed to happen didn't and it still shows up on her record causing her to look like a felon. I thought that if they amended it down it would not show as a felony record, so now I feel so guilty and I'm distraught over perhaps destroying the chance for her to have any kind of future. All because I was stupid and didn't understand fully what was happening at the time.
***another update***
My friend has a friend who works at the courthouse, and she told me that if there was nothing on her record for five years that this could be expunged, which means removed like it never happened ever. I was relieved, and will certainly look into having that done at this point.
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