Go Ahead, Smile...

I wish I was a glow worm.

A glow worm's never glum.

It's hard to be downhearted when the sun shines out your bum!

*******

here's a video, my question is...what does she say?

*Cringe*

its the doorbell!  I hate it when somebody unexpected shows up, don't you?

You're always crunchy, need an oil change or something, or you're right in the middle of a crap, or taking a shower?!

arrrrrgh~~I guess it could be worse, I could be housing a humper!




In my case I need a doormat that says, "the Fuzz lives here."  yeah, yeah, I know fat chance this might keep away the criminal element esp. if they find out he's only a BIG cat."

but hey...here's a laugh for ya.  Today in the World of Transcription, in a psyche report, the doctor was fishing for general fund of information knowledge and he asked the claimant who Marie Curie was.  The patient answered, "I think she was a famous hooker!"  hahaha! She very well could have been, huh blogdom? cracked me up! Ya'll should hear the answers to some of these questions these patients give, and if you plan on going in for a disability examination you could be asked this question, along with other stuff like "How many miles from New York to Paris?"  Any takers on that one? No cheating...Yeah, don't look it up...

Give me your guestimate!

Kids Say The Dardnest Stuff...

if the dog ate it, its good 'nuff for me!

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went down to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you'll ask him."

***************************************************

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

***********************************************

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

One little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

***********************************************

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

*************************************************

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

**************************************************

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

**********************************************

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

We Interrupt This Regularly Scheduled Program...

Ah now here's a concept bloggers. Few, if any, I would imagine practice this. I wouldn't say I was a hoarder by no means far from it, but I guess I would classify myself as a collector of boxed joy! Why do we hold onto this stuff?

I think we keep boxed up 'joy' cause somehow its magical, a piece of us or of our children growing up, shut away, to open up from time to time to pull memories and good times from. I have a closet full. Here recently I was cleaning out my closet in the dining room looking for something (which I never found) but I came across a box of my ex, John's things; things he treasured, pictures, scrapbooks with his family, pieces of his life and it really touched me emotionally, reminding me of the void I still feel at the loss of a best friend. Its been 5 years. His niece had called me a couple of days later, and I told her about finding it, and told her these pictures and memorabilia of her family belonged with them. I'll be happy to relinquish his box of joy to her. Sadly, John had no children of his own but that never stopped him from 'fathering' a few with love and support, like he did my girls.

I'm thinking if I died tomorrow what good is any of my "boxed joy" to anybody else? Its just one more thing for them to have to go through and pack up again or perhaps throw away. Once we're gone, so dies the memories, and our boxes of 'joy' becomes pretty much 'uselss junk' to everybody else. Perhaps our stuff will end up on a flea market table exposing our most intimate thoughts or even our underwear to the world, and our other stuff we paid 'a fortune for' laying there being pimped out cheap! oh the suffrage of thinking about it!

Somehow its all relative though isn't it? We go through our parents stuff, our kids will be going through ours. Speaking of relatives, I have a few that are useless, some that are less than joyful, and I'd like to get rid of them sometimes...lol...and yes, some are beautiful in ways they don't even know! but I need to start cleaning out my closets. Speaking of which, when my youngest daughter came to stay here a few weeks ago, she went through my walk-in closet upstairs in my bedroom trying to make room for her stuff, coming across a few items that would require no discussion, only an "OhMyGod!" mom!!!!!!

yeah...


I loved it~! 

Smile~!

it's infectious! and you just can't help it!

and the week's about over~!

thank god for small miracles!

Let's Play A Word Game...want to?

• Get Ready.
• Get Set.
• Go!

See how fast can you guess these words...

F_ _K
PU_S_
S_X 
P_N_S
BOO_S
_ _NDOM

• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  

How did you do? Scroll down to see.

• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  

Here are the answers.

FORK
PULSE
SIX
PANTS
BOOKS
RANDOM

• 
  

You got all 6 wrong....didn't you??? 

R & R? we'll see...

destination:  Virginia Beach

length of stay:  not long enough...lol

Yes, my sister and I are driving and taking the girls for a few days to VA beach. Its only a six-hour drive for us, so that's not too bad. My little granddaughter, who is 8, a is really looking forward to the beach, as she has never been. We will be visiting the VA Aquarium and Marine Center, but if anybody knows the area and has any suggestions, just give me a holler!

I hate computer issues. When my computer is screwed up, my world ends till the darn thing is fixed, it if takes me hours, so be it, in this case its been nearly two full days. This computer is also my work computer, and when it doesn't run right that is a big problem. I realize when my computer starts slowing down, hijacking my searches, trying to open a browser or webpages is taking too long, and at times is freezes up, and even pressing CTRL Alt delete doesn't work, there's a big fat problem somewhere.

First off, the suspects include a teen and an 8-year-old who likes to go to Nick Jr and play games. The teen likes to loaf on Facebook and listen to music. I found Limewire installed on here one day and about freaked!!!!

What started the madness was not only some suspicious behavior but when I try to open my IE browser and I got an iexplore.exe - Application error that says "The instruction at "0x7c911689 or some bullshit number" referenced memory at 0x0000000"...The memory could not be read...there's a major problem here.

Obviously there could be some malware/spyware or some application process screwed up. About a month ago, the 8-year-old clicked in a music site, unbeknownst to us that started a chain of events wherein my computer was infected by a company (aka virus attacker) who wanted to sell us a product to clean it up.  That was a big fat mess, complete with sex ad pop-ups and everything designed to scare you into buying their product to fix what they messed up.  I thought I had fixed that, but perhaps I had not totally gotten that resolved and now it was affecting my registry? Gawwwwd. Its ass kicking time.  Momma's pissed off! game ON!

What happened and who did it? I may never know, but everybody is innocent till proven guilty, eh? Doesn't matter, it still leaves you with one big headache to try to figure it all out. If you've never had this error, consider yourself lucky. I'm told this application error could have been caused by another program incompatibility, malware/spyware, or perhaps a virus or worm infection.

First thing I do is delete Internet Explorer browser, only to try to reinstall it, which still doesn't work.  I then tried to delete the Yahoo toolbar (the devils' spawn) but every time I tried it froze up totally.  Yes, its been two days of running every scan known to the malware world, doing searches to see perhaps which processes (under msconfig) are looking like viruses; searches that got hijacked, the freezing up, having to manually turn off the computer, which ensued my cursing and bitching! I could access my Mozilla browser but not IE. 

Today I contacted my local server for perhaps a sanity check, LOL, who refers me to Microsoft, and gives me a phone number; whereupon I finally after two days of insanity call them, and its a few more hours (yes hours) of insanity whereby I lose my Symantec (Microsoft tech uninstalled it because they thought it was causing the problem) meanwhile the battery on my home phone is beeping, and the tech tells me I can call Norton to put it back on which didn't happen by the way, but I'm armed with Microsoft Security Essentials which is free and works just as well I'm told.

Even after all that, the tech nor I couldn't open the browser. Talk about crazy then, at one point I couldn't even open Mozilla browser. I was ready to stab the tech support chicka, whom I couldn't understand very well due to her language accent. She told me I would need to find my XP disk which I couldn't find, I thought to myself she is really gonna screw this puter up, in and out of Safe Mode, removing this, downloading that, all I wanted was resolution. She finally said she had it fixed but wanted me to insert a disk, what disk? and why?

Finally there was silence. The phone went dead. Great, that's all I frickin need.  In a little while the first guy I talk to calls me from Microsoft, wants to know if the issue got resolved, I give him a resounding, Yes! This was after I downloaded IE 8, and finally it worked right. I was never so relieved in my life! I threatened the suspects with never using the computer again!!!! Even the head honcho supervisor at Microsoft wanted to talk to me, I guess checking up on the issue to see if I got resolution. I told him it was thanks to his persistent staff. He said if I ever needed anything to call them!

I'm still without Symantec, not sure I am going to miss it. Life is good, my computer is working properly again.

Pickled...or...Caught Sleeping At Your Desk?...

Bill worked in a pickle factory.

He had been employed there for many years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, Bill, you didn't!" she exclaimed.

"Yes, I did." he replied. "My God, Bill, what happened?"

"I got fired."

"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

"Oh...she got fired too."  

Things to Say When Caught Sleeping at Your Desk ...

wake up! pay attention now!


10.  "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."

9.  "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time
     management course you sent me to!"

8.  "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here
     just in time."

7.  "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the problem at hand and
     envisioning a new strategy."

6.  "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5.  "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related
    stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

4.  "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to
    handle that issue (or cite current problem) we are encountering."

3.  "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put
    your ear down real close?"

2.  "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?!?"

AND THE NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your
desk........

1.  Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, Amen."

 

Life, Liberty. and the Pursuit of ...

whatever flips your switch! Have a safe and happy Fourth!


*picture courtesy of Flickr*