sakura



When the cherry blossoms blossom,
they remind me of your passing.

It was the year when a cloud
almost obscured the sun.

It was the year when my heart
was filled with sadness.

It was so heavy to carry
the secret unseen burden of it
often caused me to stumble.

I did not weep, sometimes
nor cease to sleep, sometimes.

Though at times the loss
of you made me feel
that I might  drown on the air
of a day in a world without
you as part of it.

this rash has a name...



Yes folks, I never thought in a million years that I would come down with a case of shingles.

I woke up two weekends ago with a rash that appeared from my breastbone over towards the right breast/upper torso area and on out towards the left shoulder.   It was itchy, but scratching this set off a whole new meaning of the word 'pain!'  Nope don't itch it, cause if you do, it hurts so much more, feels like a deep bruise and major burn!  I couldn't figure out where this rash came from and had put up with the worst of it for over a week before I went in to have it checked.  I hadn't been around a patch of poison ivy or sumac, nor pulling weeds, hadn't changed the laundry detergent, and I tried some ointments which didn't work.  The other day when I had Isabella checked out because she fell and hurt her finger, the PA looked at my rash and asked me about it, said to me it looked like shingles.  Shingles? seriously? so she recommended I see my doctor, who confirmed this diagnosis today.

This is not a picture of my rash, mine is not that big, but nonetheless is that red and angry! wow...so its a prescription of Famvir for 7 days and pain pills!  It appears that shingles occurs as the result of a virus attacking the nerve endings under the skin, no wonder its so painful to scratch and just really really sore! Famvir is supposed to slow down the nerve inflammation and contain in.  My doctor says this is fairly common to see, the severity of which depends.  I'm not sure why, but if you had the chicken pox you could possibly develop shingles.  I've never had anything like this, not even a fever blister.  They say if/when the rash goes away you could then develop the post-herpetic pain, heavenly day I hope it doesn't spread and it never comes back!

the least you could have said...


 
 
I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm,
your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm,
yes, many loved before us, I know that we are not new,
in city and in forest they smiled like me and you,
but now it's come to distances and both of us must try,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.
I'm not looking for another as I wander in my time,
walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme
you know my love goes with you as your love stays with me,
it's just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea,
but let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't untie,
your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.

[Hey, that's no way to say goodbye - Leonard Cohen]
 

Redneck HomeStyle...

  

Well this is one way to wash up iffin' you ain't got no water (yes! I do know good grammar when I care to use it!)...and who would have thunk to use an old Mr. Coffee to heat it up...

Yes sireedy! that's redneck ingenuity right there...plus an electrical requirement..LOL! 

disheartened

 another staff member at our local office bites the dust yesterday...





He was just told his position was eliminated...whose next? its like standing in front of a firing squad just waiting...dodge the bullet now, what about a week from now..a month...its a good thing I don't suffer from anxiety or panic...in the back of my mind I know whatever I'm dealt I'm a survivor...come what may.  His job was more important than mine was and I've worked with this person for years, being there 14 myself.  These are scary times we live in.

not to mention on the television to learn of two bombs going off at the Boston Marathon...people hurt, some dead...lives changed forever...

addendum:  Today we all received an email informing us that there would be no more cuts from our local office.  Maybe a little sigh of relief momentarily, but still makes you aware that you are not that important in the big scheme of things; they don't care you have anything to fall back on, whether you have relatives you can depend on, what your home life circumstances are..or maybe they did take this into consideration at the local level...I don't know but at this point I'm just glad to have a job.  Some of my staff would gladly give up benefits if they could just stay employed...yes, its a sad state of affairs.

Unrequited Love...

 




In the Spring rain he came to me,
It was beautiful, unforgettable~
Its been rainy days since he walked away
four years ago 
almost to the day
I loved him without reservation or restraint 
taking him into the folds of my life, 
while I was kept an outsider in his...

once a passionate falsetto, now falls silent. 

not even a kiss good-bye.

Innocence...


  Photograph Untitled by Елена Карнеева on 500px

I really love this capture and the innocence of a child's curiosity.

original photo here; also this can be purchased.