OhMyGod!!!

Alrighty, okay, maybe my injury is not THAT bad... but it is comparable! because it couldn't hurt any worse, at least the snake has to let go, right? All I was doing was looking for a good picture that said ouch, and I found one, eh?! I don't think that was a kiss...

I raked my left middle fingernail trying to shut my garage door out back, after my hooligan in-laws came to get a blanket out of their crappy stash taking up room in my garage. The actual length of the nail was left intact (which I clipped off), however I have a big fat rip halfway across the nail and halfway down the nail itself. It hurts bad. Screams and potty words could be heard upon impact!

Even though my middle finger throbs like a motherhummer, in the back of mind lurks the faint memory of an ER visit in which I was having right big toenail pain, which I saw my family physician for and he passed it off as not looking infected; however I was contemplating a trip to New York City (which would involve a lot of walking), and still having problems with it which I never had before, so I went to have it checked out. The ER doctor said it was ingrown (you think the family doc would have known), and despite my stupidity of realizing just how much this procedure would hurt, I agreed for him to fix this. What I didn't realize was that he would sadistically and brutally numb my toe with numerous bee-sting needle pokes, and the pain that I suffered just to numb it, come to find out, was all in vain becuase I still felt every damn thing.

Yes, I do believe I have a high pain threshold as childbirth did not hurt as bad as that numbring ER encounter, I kid you not, and that doctor was lucky he didn't suffer any bodily injury. I was offered nothing before the brutal numbing began, believing it wasn't going to be that bad, but I was left shaking afterwards, and my toe was bruised beyond belief. My advice is that if you have anything wrong with your toenails, especially an ingrown, tell them you want to be totally knocked out! Therefore any visit to the ER for my newly acquired fingernail injury is entirely out of the question!

In my line of work, I need all my fingers equally... Nurse K? calling Nurse K, what can I do but ice and wrap it? and Dr. Grumpy would you call me in a fifth of Crown at the drug store? Will one of yuns write me an excuse for work tomorrow, too? I can see me emailing work tomorrow..."My middle finger hurts and has a temperature, and so does my head!" yep, after numbing that puppy with two or three Crown and Cokes...

ouch...shit...dammn...fruck...somebody kiss and make it better.