The Nightmare on Montgomery - The Sequel ...

Well, after a closed meeting with the Judge, John, a supervisor with Child Svcs, the social worker Tasha, and the Commonwealth attorney and myself, consensus is that as much as the Judge cares about all his kids who come into his court, he expressed his worry and concern over this "little lost girl" he called her.  I told him he wasn't alone, that I feel like I failed her too, so he took it upon himself to tell John to find her the best treatment facility in the State, which happens to be in Louisville, 3 hours away. She will get everything she needs here, and more than she wants no doubt; its comprehensive, on site schooling, mental health svcs, medical and dental services, a psychiatrist on staff and qualified psychologists to help her.

 While I've been a little bruised and battered once again, bruises will heal, time with pass. However, its clear to me that my life is moving on without her and I'm okay with this. She is 14, time for her to face her own demons. I called her social worker today and told her that I did not want to receive any phone calls from Isabella right now.  She needs to be alone and truly think about things.  Fact is, she doesn't respect me as the authority figure; I am and will always be her grandmother, and that is all I want to be.

I will talk to her and/or the staff once a month to see how she is, and maybe I'll go see her after a couple of months; again giving her time to realize the consequences of her actions and not having me in her life for a long while.   have resigned myself to the fact that she will end up perhaps in foster care (luckily a good family), or choosing to stay or be kept in a treatment center until she reaches 18, and I'm okay with perhaps visitation with me when she is out if and when she has done a complete transformation of her former self.

... and on the work front, a lot of long disability reports today ... ugh. every one over 10 minutes long. How are things in your neck of the woods?

Busted ...

"Don't Look At Me In That Tone of Voice...."

I'm sure the teen gave me this glare ... and she didn't hesitate to voice her objections at 3 o'clock in the morning to my finding her downstairs with the door open, lights on everywhere and her getting ready to entertain with a girl standing on my porch ... at 3 AM? "We weren't going to sneak out she says...." really? Just exactly what were you planning at 3 o'clock in the morning?! The surprise of being caught on their faces was priceless! Get your butt upstairs ... "Can I spent the night with Kiera?" seriously? at 3 AM you are asking me to spend the night with Kiera? Mind you this kid walked nearly 14 blocks from where she lives? After I had gone back to bed I worried about the safety issue of this kid getting back home that time of night, even though I had the feeling she was not alone. The cops patrol quite often in this neighborhood and I wouldn't be surprised if she got a courtesy ride and if she did, her mother would be informed of such. I would have called her mother myself if I had her phone number. Yes ... it's going to be a battle royale today coz she isn't going to take well to being grounded ... also earlier yesterday she told me she was at the mall when in fact she was at the mall (at some point) but she neglected to tell me she was somewhere else ... (the mall does not have hardwood floors, fireplace and pics above it) taking pictures at someone's house and then posting them to Facebook pretty much tells on yourself ... and was hanging with a friend that she knows I don't approve of ... complete with pictures on Facebook and with the girl with your shirt on just confirms you lying about it.

Really?

Round Trip Weekend

This weekend I traveled 170 plus miles in a borrowed van (since my car is still not repaired) to see my teen at the facility she is staying in. She got transferred from the regular juvenile facility, thank goodness and went onto this more of a residential in-house treatment for neglected and/or abused kids; not that she was abused here in my home, but was verbally, psychologically, and (? sexually) at her Dad's residence. They have a great program there to help build her self-esteem, finish schooling, and learn coping life skills. I am hoping she will have gained something valuable by this experience.

In case some of you are just now tuning in to this saga, the teen decided Memorial Day weekend that she wanted "out of here!" but calling the cops three times landed her in the local juvenile facility, not exactly where she had intended to go. Battering me to the point of ripping my shirt and putting bruises on me, over a 3-day period, did not help her case when she called the cops. Yep, she shot herself in the foot, but she also had her Dad egging her on. I figured she was back talking to him, as her behavior demonstrates this oh so well. I will save you the long story of custody battle and other such ugliness that has festered over the years. If you're interested in reading that history, click here. My girlfriend tells me this is a better drama than the lifetime movie, and tells me to write this novel, but I told her I'd probably end up just taking it to Oprah cause I'm too damned tired to care anymore.

Anyway, being able to see her smile was worth all the miles I traveled on Saturday. She seems genuinely sorry for this to have happened, and I do feel she is ready to come home before her actual court date of July 7th. Laying eyes upon her, she is indeed a beautiful girl, but still troubled underneath all that, and was surprised to see me as she didn't know I was coming! She has worked hard to get all her credits to be a senior while in this facility and I am proud of that. I am hoping this experience will have helped her gain some respect for me, for herself.

I did pick up on her anxiety over how she feels the court date will turn out, despite my trying to alleviate her fears as did the staff there. She also asked me to call her father and let her know where she was and what happened... uh...yeah, over my dead body! I know it was Father's Day this weekend, but he is no father, he is an abuser. She was only six, a baby, when the court decided she should live with him, so dysfunction and abuse is all she has known. It was truly sad, a deep heart wound that still brings me to tears.

Getting her to go to school all year has proved fruitless due to her Dad's arrest, incarceration, and still impending trial set for July 20th. There seems to be little doubt, based on Bobbi's behaviors since separating from his residence, that she in all probability was sexually molested as well. She says not, but she cannot remember events from her childhood. While he was verbally and psychologically abusive, controlling, and manipulating of everyone in his life, it certainly took away the innocence of her childhood. Not too long ago, my sister told me something she learned from mother. I know this may sound a little weird to some of you who don't believe in spirits or mediums or psychics. Mother has been dead since 2004 but through a medium (which was happenstance through my niece who was visiting with this medium and sparked her curiosity to ask her) it was told to my niece from my mother that my ex started abusing Bobbi as a game when she was only three years of age.

When she told me this, I nearly vomited; it all fits perfectly, all his abuse towards me, all his efforts at separating my daughter from her own family and even from me, lying to get custody and making me look crazy, his trying to hide it, her anger with having to live with it and now as a teen having social and behavioral problems from all his control, abuse and manipulation; God! what a nightmare the last 10 years have been. That sick bastard. Nobody knows unless they've lived with evil. Lord help my baby girl get through all of this.

His trial starts July 20th. He is accused of 12 counts of rape and sodomy of a child under 12. I pray that there will finally be closure from the deep heart wounds that he has caused me and my children.

A Letter Today and Other News ...

I got a phone call this morning from one of the juvenile officers. My daughter was transferred out of the juvenile detention (juvey jail) and taken to Gateway House, which is about an hour and half away from me. I think this is more suitable for her, and what the judge and counsel decided. I haven't heard anything else from her today. I am hoping that the people from Gateway will call me. They have a good program there, so I am hopeful she will take advantage of this opportunity till she returns home to me.

I also received her letter today. She wrote, "I just wanted you to know that I am truly sorry about the everything I have ever said and done to you Mom, you mean more to me than you will ever know. I have been thinking about things and how I really screwed things up for myself. Mom, never think that I don't love you or that I hate you because I LOVE YOU! and don't think that if my dad gets out, I am going to live with him again, because you really don't understand how much I miss you. You are such a good mother and it took me this long to realize it, but I did. Mom, I love you with my whole entire heart. I will write you another letter here soon."

I LOVE YOU!

I love you too, Bobbi...Your letter was the bright spot of my day.

Friday Update: Bobbi called me early this morning. She was not a happy camper, very teary, said she would rather be in juvey? I am not sure why she would say that, but I'll have to call these people tomorrow and see what is going on. Today was more intake for her.

The First Visitation

Today was the first day outside of court that I got to see my girl at the juvenile facility.  I was told not to bring a purse or any other items for her, as she was not allowed anything.  I didn't know what to expect when I approached the building.  It was all very secure.  You had to check in at the desk, show your personal identification, sign in your name and who you were visiting, have a magic wand waved over your body and go into a room with no windows.  While sitting there waiting, the door opened and the kids came in, I counted 6 boys, big teenage boys, and no Bobbi.  Where was she?  The guard took a look and me and realized that he had forgotten her, so he went back to get her.

When she came in I noticed she had tears in her eyes, and she started to lose herself with emotion, I wanted to hug her but I wasn't allowed to do so.  You can only hug them as they are getting ready to leave from visitation.  I was thankful I didn't have to see her in shackles again.   She looked healthy, no makeup, in scrubs and sandals with socks.  Both of us tried to contain our emotions but there were tears intermittently throughout the hour especially those first few minutes.  It was tough.  She told me that she heard people getting called in line for vistation but that nobody called her name, and so she thought either she lost her privilege for some infraction, or I hadn't come to see her, and she started to cry again.  I told her that every day she could get visitation that I would be there, that I will always be there.

There were the moments that let me know she was a normal teen talking about some guy in there she thought was hot! OMGosh, and we laughed about the beer I found in her room when I cleaned it up.  Some big drinker she is, five whole beers missing (which she never drank herself) out a 30-pack of beer, and which didn't even belong to her.  The beer actually belongs to her stepsister, who is in her 20s, and why she would pack beer into my home I will never know, but obviously she is not the best role model for Bobbi.

She told me what her days are like, that lights come on at 6:30 a.m., and lights go off at 8:30 p.m.  She said the food was good, that she looks forward to meal times, and that she gets recreation time and snacks.  She also gets her schooling in there as well, and says she is doing okay with that.  She also has church in there. 

She said she has to address everyone as sir and ma'am and the rules are very rigid, and she says if she ever gets out of there, she would take grounding by me any day over being in there.  She said she would be grounded till she was 18, be on house arrest, do ANYTHING to keep from having to go back there ever again.  She told me she got a SOP (suspension of privileges) earlier for looking out of line.  She says that when you line up in the mornings, that you are supposed to look straight ahead and she looked off to the side, so she got an infraction for that, and would probably lose her recreation time over it.

Bless her heart.  It was hard to come home without her.

Lunchtime Quickie Teen Update

Last night, Sunday evening, May 31st, I got a phone call from my daughter finally around 8 p.m.. Finally she had come out of orientation and I was glad to hear her voice. It was pitiful how small she sounded and obviously on the edge of tears still. She apologized, and I told her that I had forgiven her at the moment it happened, however she had to learn consequences to her actions and that hitting someone you love out of anger for not getting your way was selfish and immature. My daughter has had a lot of anger for years, which stems from her abusive father and a passive mother, and a stepmother who just didn't want to deal with it and my daughter was just pacified with "things." I've tried many times to bring it up but everybody, including her uncle, just said it was typical teen attitude, but it wasn't, I'm not stupid. I told her that she needs to reach in and pull out this anger, deal with it once and for all, so that she can get on with living her life and going after the things she wants.

I told her I loved her, and encouraged her to get through her studies in order to be a senior this next year, and that I would see her Wednesday if she got visitation. Actually she called me again tonight. She was very teary and I am worried about her. She said she was writing me a letter. I got hers ready to mail tomorrow.

Work came and went today, glad its over.

Slave duty starts early. See ya.

This Time Last Week ...

My teen was screaming to me she wanted out of here, out of my house, that she didn't want to live here, after she had lost her phone and computer privileges on Thursday. I don't think she realized that getting out of here meant she was going to "juvey." However, last Saturday night, she called the police and told them there was a dispute after she had battered me physically. Yes, there was a dispute all right as she refused to be disciplined. My shirt was ripped almost all the way down the front, my arm was bruised, the house was pretty trashed, and the police took her to see the Court Designated Worker. The guy that came Saturday, was also here Friday night trying to talk sense into her head. Before getting grounded on Thursday, and her really knowing I meant it this time, she has never wanted to leave. The police had been to my residence a total of four times over a three-day period.

The first time they brought her home she had taken my car out on a midnight run without my permission, running it dry of every fluid, and it quit dead. It has to have a motor. The second time she was escorted home was that same Thursday evening when she got mad at me and left the house. I had no sooner pulled back in front of the house out looking her with my other daughter, when a police car pulled up. She had walked to the local hospital which was a block and a half away. She just said she didn't want to live here. The cop tried to talk some sense into her. No real explanation just her lack of responsibility at taking consequences for her actions that resulted in her being grounded. Okay so that was twice.

The third time was Friday night after work (around 11:00 p.m.), which I like to never talked her into going to work beforehand. Since I didn't have a car, I walked her to work (at least halfway once, then she bucked on going) and finally she decided she would go to work, so I walked her over there. Next time I see her, she is getting out a police car. I was shocked. The officer said she had left work, somebody clocked her out, and I guess somebody had called the police. I have no idea why, other than the fact that perhaps she was talking trash behind my back or something? I have no idea. It was probably her father sticking his nose in. She had actually physically battered me here Friday as well before I got her to go to work, by threatening me with a knife and actually throwing it, kneeing me in the groin, hitting me, I can't remember what all she did and the screaming. In order to keep her from abusing the privileges that I had taken away, I had to literally lock up the phones and hide the computer. Friday night before she was due home from work I actually hid every sharp object I knew of in the trunk of my car. She doesn't take to authority really well obviously.

What's odd is that inbetween these fits of not getting her way to get her things back, she seemed fine even saying she would help save money from her part-time job to help me fix the car, and then all of the sudden a rage would come when she didn't get her way. It was scary. The last time (fourth) the police were called here it was by her Saturday night again. She had packed her clothes the day before thinking she could just call somebody and go stay at a friend's house or something. Saturday evening she said she was going to call somebody to come and get her and I told her she wasn't going anywhere, that her grounding still applied to her. She calls her Dad (who is facing sexual abuse charges)and proceeds to scream to him that she doesn't want to be here, she hates it here, blah, blah, and I told her to get off the phone, reminding her that she did not have phone privileges and if she refused I would unplug and lock it up again. She went ballistic, screaming, and grabbed me by my shirt and proceeded to batter me to the point of my crying to get her to stop. After this she called her father back and told him that "Mom didn't do nothing, I don't want to get mom in trouble (her Dad had egged her to call the law and said he would too, even telling me that she felt threatened after I picked up the phone to listen), I'm the one who hit her and she's got a big bruise on her arm, and I'm going to "juvey." She then called the police, and she has set in the juvenile detention facility as a week today.

I look at her beautiful face and it scares me what lies beneath it. I am frightened, not of her necessarily, but for her. Despite the 48 hours needed for orientation, she still has not come off orientation due to behavioral issues, so she has had no phone privileges, or any visitation privileges. I never once called the police even though it wasn't the first time she had battered me since coming here nine months ago. I figured given time and love we could work through it, and once her Dad was found guilty and was sent off her anger would finally leave, or something would happen and she would remember and finally free herself from his chains, but one can never be sure of that, can they? That bastard has abused her all along, emotionally and with physical threats, with bared teeth and anger seething, and sexually too. Both his ex-wife (who now sees the damage) and me, and everybody else (the counselors and law figures) believe this is where her rage comes from, but in order to prosecute him she has to admit it.

She has buried it, so deep inside. She has no empathy, or sympathy, is not interested in anyone genuinely it seems, only wants to listen to music excessively playing the same song over and over again like she's in her own little world, doesn't remember any events from her childhood, and trusts no one. Her uncle died in January and she never shed a tear. By calling her father after she didn't get her way with me, just confirms my suspicions of his abuse; she is running back to him because he is all she has ever known even if it was abusive. She lived in dysfunction and abuse, so she has no idea what normal is; that's the reality right there. God knows I love her more than anything in this world. I feel so helpless and responsible. He is such a monster, but so am I for not fighting hard enough for her. He kept us both down. He dragged me through the courts to make himself look good, got foster kids, but underneath he was abusing everyone in his path. Talk about a psychopath and sociopath, is that what he's done to my daughter, too?

There is only one outcome for all of this, and I hope and pray that justice will finally be served in July. Until then, my baby girl is safe even in "juvey" and perhaps getting the help she truly needs. I just want to tell her I love her and let her know it will be all right, Mom will always be here no matter what.

Today I cleaned up that mess that was her room. I found a 30-pack of beer in her closet. I was not surprised. There were only 5 cans actually drank, two of them nearly full. I don't know who brought it into the house, doesn't matter. I didn't really search for anything else, but while cleaning I found nothing else. I don't think she is doing drugs at all, she tested clean, so that's a plus. If her behavior will come under control that would help. The guy at the juvenile facility said she cannot sustain the proper behavior for a 48 hour period required to get privileges. It doesn't look good.

April Fools Day

I guess I would be the fool today for paying seventy some odd dollars to get my teen's hair fixed from strawberry blonde back to her more natural state. She got a wild manic hair up her butt a few days ago and decided she wanted to go blonde all the way! pretty much platinum (like her friend Betty Boop I call her) but what she ended up with was strawberry blondish red...eeeek! but now it's fixed, thanks to me.

In the last few days her and I have butt heads over her risky behaviors. I don't know what gets into this kid, but talking with her is like talking to a wall sometimes she just doesn't get it. Her moods are erratic, and I swear I think she's bipolar. Monday morning while sitting in a new psychiatrist's office she was her usual antisocial self. At one point she wouldn't even sit in the lobby and went out to the car.

Today while sitting in the counselor's office with my teen I just let 'er fly! I told the counselor about her latest escapades, and about trying to make house rules that she refuses to acknowledge or follow through with. I think the counselor understood my position and was surprised at her irresponsibility It's time momma played hardball!

Blue Friday...

When my teen walked in the door at 7:30 this morning, I realized she had been out all night. God knows where she was, or who she was with. She was pretty rude to me this morning when I confronted her about it, and she just went to her room and gave me the silent treatment, and slept until practically time for her to go to work at 5.

It is almost 10 o'clock p.m. and I still don't know anymore than I did when she came in the door. She worked her part time job tonight, and it's probably a good thing. I don't want to fight with this 17 year old but she has to realize there are rules and consequences, and too bad if she doesn't like it. Even though I would like to have a discussion with her, it probably will not happen as one of her friends Betty came over and she is sitting at work over there with her until she gets off. I suppose Betty is spending the night here.

It's been a hard day for me.

Update on Friday Night.

When the teen got off at 10 p.m., I picked them both up.  It was not a good time to bring up the discussion again as she had Betty over here, and before I knew it, she had invited that boy over, obviously the same boy she was with last night.  She introduced me to Justin, but gave me no details really about who he was or whatever.  Bobbi knew I was upset with her and really took advantage of the fact that she had company here and they all wanted to get something to eat.  Despite my better judgment I told them they could go out to eat but to be back in no later than midnight.  What did they do? They stayed out all night again, drank, got drunk and God knows what all.  Betty came waltzing in at nearly 11 a.m. Saturday morning, with a different shirt on than the one she wore out of here, said she had walked from their house nearly 13 blocks away and said Bobbi was still there.  I told Betty I wanted her to take me back over here to pick up Bobbi, but once we got over there she could not pick out the residence.  Isn't that queer? Anyway once back home, I had her call that kid's cellphone.  At nearly 12 noon we finally picked up Bobbi Jo at a nearby gas/covenience store.  Those boys didn't have the common courtesy to bring her home or wait till I showed up to pick her up.  I spent the night Friday night/Saturday morning worried sick and then livid!

Delay #2? or is #3?

Did I mention that my teen called her father here twice? Yes, she did.  I caught her on the phone with him the day before.  I was absolutely shocked.  She hasn't said a word about him or hasn't even thought about him for months now really, until she learned he was out on bond, and after she visited her stepmother.  I happened to pick up the receiver to use the phone, day before yesterday, clicked it on and realized she was on it, and with him, as he said, "hello..."  a chill went through me. 

Last night I was suspicious that she was on the phone with him again, but she told me it was "Mary."  I don't know what the hell to believe.  She said their conversation was innocent enough, just "weather talk" but considering she is a potential witness and could be subpoenaed by the prosecuting attorney, whether she knows anything or not, this does not look good.  I tried to tell her that obviously if he was allowed to call her, he would have, and that there was probably a standing order if he did so he would go directly back to jail. 

All these delays of taking this case to trial is making me a little nervous, and I'm sure her father is feeling a little empowered by it, thinking he is going to get out of it totally or something.  I kept waiting and thinking I was going to be subpoened to court, but they don't do that until they know for sure they are going to actually have a trial date, and that date won't happen until all the evidence is in and submitted to the court; therein lives the delay by the prosecuting atty, or commonwealth.  

I even took the day off work in anticipation of having to go testify but I guess that's not going to happen.  When will this nightmare be over?

A Chat with the Ph.D.

Friday afternoon, I took my daughter to talk with a psychiatrist in a neighboring city. He is the head of the department of psychology at Marshall University, and still teaches and deals with neuropsychologic screening and testing. He was very engaging, and will be doing some tests on my teen.

As of yet, I am unable to get her back in school at this point, and frankly I don't expect her to go back; however, in order to complete her 11th grade year and go back as a senior she will have to take a core summer class. I have talked to her for months about trying to get her to see how important it is to finish school and obtain that diploma rather than getting a GED. I know she's capable, (at least I'm hoping the testing reveals she is); I just don't feel her id psyche will allow her to do it.

I know that when you want something bad enough you're willing to go that extra mile to get it, and if she truly wants to graduate back at her old school with her friends then she will get through this year as a junior, whatever that takes. I also know that due to what she has been through it may take her longer than most to realize consequences. She is at risk for behaviors that could potentially pose more problems, and I do realize this as well, so trying to balance her moods and social issues is becoming a tedious task, along with her school work. I personally don't see her putting out a consistent effort. It could be due to the fact that she is up all night, has periods of sleeplessness even with taking psychotropic meds. If she has to have a 504 plan or modifications in order to get that diploma then so be it, that is why the testing is a valuable source.

She hasn't said too much about her Dad, and I hope and pray she is not calling him on the phone at night when I'm asleep. There should be a no contact I would think, but knowing this judicial system here who the hell really knows? I put his crap back in the mail at my expense of a stamp, and I am hoping that the worker at the post office has enough sense to get it to the proper party. Him being out on bond just creeps me out. However, he can't get too far with an ankle bracelet on.

New Year 2009 ...

slipped in before I realized it! There was no celebration. I thought my daughter had made plans but her boyfriend came over early and left long before midnight. Neither daughter or I had stayed awake long enough to see the ball drop into 2009, but no big whoop really. This next year will be what it is and nothing more. I want my daughter to realize all the potential she has, and the changes that are headed her way. One thing is for sure, her father's case with go to trial and it will be over, one way or another.

I think all of us are going to be subpoenaed guests by the commonwealth, and I'm not sure Bobbi is ready for this. I do worry that she will suffer more guilt if he does get convicted, but she has information that is similar to other testimony in the case and she will be testifying. The next question is whether we can close the courtroom and even take her dad out. I'm not sure about that one. I just don't think she can handle seeing him sitting there. She hasn't seen him since she left out there in August.

This year, I would love to truly feel loved once again, and I would love to find the joy in family that has been missing for a while. No big resolutions. Looking for nothing but love really.

Interruptions and More Interruptions ...

My head hurts. 

My heart hurts. 

My bank account is dented. 

There is always some drama going on around here.  My 16 year old has a new boyfriend and they are up in her room, watching TV, and being quiet because I was working, but maybe a little too quiet if you know what I mean.  I worry.  I think my daughter and I might need to talk about appropriateness here, as I am just not comfortable with this at all. 

So they're up there and I'm down here working and then a call comes in from that lawyer who supposedly is going to stop the child support, and in walks Griszelda Mess doing her drama routine wanting $50 more bucks, like I got it to spare.  She is adamant and makes a comment hoping the house will burn down with that cigarette she threw down inside the house?? I think I'm going to lose it on top of everything else. 

I want to scream!!!!

My lawyer is using my ex's lawyer's (whose in jail) cell phone? Geeze isn't that convenient? and I even called him back with the information, of course not realizing it was my ex's attorney's phone.  Anyway it's debatable whether or not I'll get that money back pronto without having to file a motion to get it. 

Nothing like a little interference to mess up your day, so I had to work a little over, cancel an appointment this afternoon at 4! Oh yeah, did I tellya I volunteered to work 4 hours tomorrow to help out? Yeah, I don't why I bothered since my bonus this year was pathetic. 

4 p.m. Monday

We just drove back from Wal-Mart after getting our hair done at the salon, and on the way into Ashland, Dick had called. Like I said Bobbi was surprised that he was even in Ashland, as was I, since he has not called one time, not one time since Bob was incarcerated in jail to find out she is doing. Bobbi Jo asked him if he had talked to her Dad, and he said yes, and she proceeded to tell him how disgusted she was, and asked Dick how it felt to be the brother of a rapist? She told him she wanted to sit in court and watch it. Dick told her that he had a lawyer and obviously tried to lessen the impact of all of this. Bobbi was not impressed. She told him that he lived in Florida, and he had no idea what has happened over the last few years at that house. She just wanted to get off the phone with him. This needs to stop. I knew that talking to Dick would only add to her anxiety over all this stuff. After all, he is the brother of a man on trial for sex crimes against children for God's sakes. You think Uncle Dick might be concerned that his brother could have done this to his own daughter? and as far as Sandy, same thing. She told me she was going to talk to Bob in jail about Dick and his "taking over". You think she had divorced herself of the situation, but obviously not as she was up there in court when Bob was supposedly arraigned. These two people are still toxic for Bobbi, and I am going to ask that they be cut off from contact with me or Bobbi, or any one in my immediate family.