goodbye July ... hurry up and pass August
August is such a hard month for me, so much pain and heartache. I have exceeded my limit now, but I operate in survival mode and this month, I know, too shall pass. I took Friday off because I just couldn't do it one more day. Tomorrow is already here and I'm not sure I can do it tomorrow. In fact, I'm not sure about anything right now to be honest. Its amazing how strong one can appear to those outsiders and deal with demands of the day, but underneath there is a profound sadness~
Months come and go ~ and still ... the pain is always just a scratch below the surface. Some days I feel myself drowning in my own emotional and physical exhaustion ... Could I absolve myself of all responsibilities and disappear into nothingness, to no man's land, remove myself out of my past, present and future -- from anything and everything that is ... its never that easy. Is death the only escape?
so I just breathe and grieve --- what else is there to do... try to remember or long to forget.
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Be cautious. It's a slippery slope to feel that way. I've found myself teetering on the edge of forever when there was no blue in the skies. External pressures leave us feeling out of control and powerless. You are stronger than you know. You always have been. You always will be. You may have just forgotten for a bit, but you will remember and you will come out of this. I have faith in you.
ReplyDeletethanks my friend, it means a lot you're being around to listen.
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