la vida es bella: ~the disappointing frog and a tale of woe~

~the disappointing frog and a tale of woe~

A woman storms into a pet shop demanding her money back from the owner. You sold me this frog and told me it would be able to satisfy all my sexual desires!

The clerk tries to calm her down and asks, "Did you do what I told you to do?"

"Yes, dammit!"

"I got naked, lay back on my bed, and put him between my legs just like you said, and he did nothing!" she shouts.

The owner, looking confused, replies, it's a perfectly trained frog. I can't understand what the problem is.

He takes the woman and the frog to a back room in the shop, where he places the frog on a small table next to a bed and asks the woman to please lie down and remove her panties.

"What?" she shouts.

Turning to the frog, he says ... "Now watch carefully, because this is the last time I'm showing you this!"

liked the frog one huh ? well, here's another~

Recently a man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off his penis ...(yes you heard me) ... after this mistress found the ring in his pants pocket !

She got so mad at him that she stuck it on him while he was asleep ...

Now,I don't know about you folks, but I don't know what's worse ...

1) having your Mistress find out that you are married ...
2) explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got ON your penis , oops .. OR ...
3) finding out that your ittybitty penis fits through your wedding ring !!!

1 comment:

UnknownMarch 24, 2009 at 11:54 PM
Niiiiiice.
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I have been temporarily distracted by a shiny object. Go ahead you know what to do!

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all in a day's work

hi there. being a Quality Analyst for a medical transcription company doesn't have too many perks except an occasional ROFLMAO at some typos or Speech Recognition (SR) boo-boos I find on nearly a daily basis...

SR Drafted: "The patient is currently single and is in a sedating relationship."

Dictated: The patient is currently single and is in a dating relationship. (I need one of those!) :)

MT typed that this female patient is vulvar aggressive. (and you thought PMS was bad...LOL!) Yep even you can be a vulvar aggressive female, if you're a female that is! haha! (actually dictated as verbal aggression)

The Pt will need to have cereal H&Hs...haha! should be serial H&Hs (hemoglobin and hematocrits)

He spoke in cartoon voices in an attempt to be humerus.

"The patient is in for followup of her solitary right kitty" ...WTF?

"The patient was playing with an eye pad during therapy."

skitsofrenic...? wow! now here's a good speller!

he had disheveled snow ...dictated as he had to shovel snow

The patient has a pet grandog named Porky... dictated as "groundhog" hahaha!! cracked me up!

This gentleman continues to do a support job with regards to using CPAP. ...dictated as superb job!

The patient is allergic to poison IV. hahaha!

"The patient reports she can barely hold onto her steering will."

We did a 24-hour tracking of eyes and nose. Dictated as...We did a 24-hour tracking of I&Os.

Once the strain gets going, he can urinate fairly well. Dictated as...Once the stream gets going, he can urinate fairly well.

"The patient works as a valley parker at The Cancer Center."

When patient was asked who Marie Curie was, "I think she's a famous hooker!"

The patient had a creme-filled filter placed!
(should have been a Greenfield filter, done for clots, circulation issues).

We did recheck a basic embolic pain yesterday, and this does reveal slight elevation in the creatinine to 1.4. *should be a basic metabolic panel*

She has a hobby of doing prostitute? say what? the doctor dictated She has a hobby of doing cross-stitching...LOL...that's pretty far out!

...Patient was alert and unresponsive.

...Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. (I don't care who ya are, that's funny!)

...Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.

...I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

...While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

...She is numb from her toes down. (surely you don't have to think about this one!)

...The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

...Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

...When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

...Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

with rest and paint thinners he states he is feeling better...LOL...since when does paint thinners sound like pain killers? ha! I suppose if you huff enough paint thinner you might feel better!

Can somebody tell me what a splenic fracture is? good gravy Mabel!

for more bloopers, see blog page In The World of Transcription under the heading "The Real Smut Stuff"

On My Radio

The air is cool, the colors fade, the long arm of night grows with a looming shade. Only small sparkles fill the sky, Where sounds of wings, blow on by. Yes this is a time to open ones mind, letting all in, yet sinking away..... Come all, let us play...

I love my music, all kinds, except hard heavy metal and bad rap, and I'm not a country fan at heart.

I am a sucker for good music quotes. I found this quote on REFLECTIONS blog, and I think it is great! "I have my own particular sorrows, loves, delights; and you have yours.

But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places.

Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality."

~H.A. Overstreet

I found another great quote about music on a blog called "At The Starting Gate." It's fabulous!

Music is an expression that all can embrace, interpret, and feel. It is an expression that will never die and will constantly be created and twisted into enjoyable melodic prose.

Music is like an antidote, it helps reduce stress, it is what I can depend on when many things in life are not trustworthy.

Music is my sanity and my passion; a way to escape the physical world and express ideas and emotions. Music is a link to my dreams which helps me to relax, visualize and create.

Music is love, devotion, precise, discipline, and adoration and it brings me closer to God.

la vida es bella

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~the disappointing frog and a tale of woe~

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