bloggers, what is the answer to the age old question,

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

Isn't a woodchuck the same thing as a groundhog? Speaking of groundhog, did he see his shadow or not? Is this winter weather ever going to end?

and from the world of transcription bloggers I give you this...

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"The patient has a pet granddog named Porky."

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...wtf? takes a second to register...until you listen closely!

...

...what in the heck is a granddog? a kin to the hotdog?

...hahahaha! totally cracked me up!


when I think of Spring, I hear this Mendelssohn tune.enjoy!

It's that time of year again!

On Valentine's Day, couples pat themselves on the back for being just not-awful enough to convince someone else to spend significant amounts of time or money on them...while the rest of us are supposed to feel bad because we're not part of a couple? 

I say, there are worse things than being single on Monday -- like being in a relationship that sucks, and with someone who feels no choice but to hemorrhage cash on a made-up holiday. Even worse, if truly there is no real love between you. 

Personally, being single is great! Being in a relationship would be wonderful, too, however I don't feel the need to be lavished by some gift because 'I'm supposed to get something?'  If you work in an office full of hormonal women, who are awaiting their "special gift" from their supposed significant other, watch out!  OMFrickinGawd! yeah...and if you didn't get a dozen roses at your desk, well...aren't you just the talk of the office...?  maybe you didn't provide him enough mouth to penis resuscitation the night before your gift was to arrive? hahaha...maybe next year you should arrange to have something delivered that you picked out, and paid for yourself? yeah...maybe that would make you feel significant. Grow up Ladies! Get over it.


Whatever.

Young Love and Stonedness...

Meet Bobbi.  She is my youngest daughter, and quite the good-looker I must say.  She came across a picture of me at 35...well, not quite an attractive shot to say the least...LOL...

I cannot believe she posted this pic on facebook of all places! I was making a big smirk...probably at my ex...ha! by that time he was always pissing me off...don't know who snapped that one!


anyway...back to the story...

Bobbi starts talking about her boyfriend, who has other friends with whom he gets stoned with and how stupid they act and such stuff... and she tells me this...

When Evan got stoned, he went up to get a bowl of Cheerios...and he came back down and was freaking out that his Cheerios were sticking together! He was asking her to help him separate them...

hahahaha! You know you're either anal retentive, or really stoned, if you are freaking out over Cheerios and are trying to separate them! 

I told her next thing you know he'll be planting those to grow doughnuts! If you want to plant your own doughnut seeds, click here.

oops! I guess they took down Steve McGranahan's video on how to plant doughnuts seeds...darn. it was too funny.

Hope yuns have a good week.

Doctor! Doctor!

A woman in Arkansas brought her baby in to see the doctor, and he determined right away the baby had an earache.

He wrote a prescription for eardrops. In the directions he wrote, "Put two drops in right ear every four hours" and he abbreviated "right" as an R with a circle around it.

Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.

The doctor looked at the bottle of eardrops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label: "Put two drops in R ear every four hours."

well, let's just broadcast it...

oh Blogdom, here is hillbilly-ness at its best.

I reckon if it makes him feel better.

I think its hilarious!

shame on Elyse.

Snit, Snot, Bitches...

Hormones are weird things in the workplace.  If my boss is having a extremely stressful day, she passes that tension on; otherwise, she's a real sweetheart.  Her and I go way back before this company ever merged, so we are familiar with each other.  I know her temperament, she knows mine.  We work well together.

By the time it was 5:30 p.m., she was apologizing to me for being "short and snippy," said she just had nobody she could take it out on, we laughed.  I know the pressure she is under, believe me, and I know the pressure I'll be under when she trapses off to India again for 8 weeks.  Yeah TWO Frickin' Months!!!!! 

Its been a few days of hooty wildness...snow, school closed, an 8-year-old driving me nuts, fighting and scratching, all while trying to do my job from home! You know how girls can be if they are getting on each others nerves, cooped up because of the snow. School had better be in session tomorrow! If that's not enough, my car died yesterday, deader than 4 o'clock.  It won't even turn over, and I haven't even dealt with that yet.  I suppose the weekend is right around the corner, maybe I can bribe a friend to check under the hood and see what is wrong. 

If I make one resolution this year, its to get a damn car! I'm tired of this constant worry with this vehicle.  She's been good to me though for many years now, but like all good things they must end, right? If you'd like to donate to the poor appalachian need-a-car fund, feel free. 

...and on that note, I'll end this. Hope ya'll are having a better week.

Do I look a little stressed?

Yep, that was me at the start of my workday.

Actually I knew yesterday that today was going to be murder on the FQA homefront. Since I am team leader (aka lower class management...lol) I had more jobs than people to get 'er done, and quite frankly it was getting worse by the minute. It seems the recording lines for the doctors were busy, busy, busy! this weekend.  We had tons of work to get out. 

Some of my FQA people can do certain clients, some can not, therefore complicating my dilemma, and furthermore the same sick chicka yesterday evening, let me know she wasn't working today, and client who has a 4-hour turn around and a 6-hour turn around TX client would need coverage.  I was not doing it again tonight, yesterday I had no volunteers...just they wait until they want vacation time! ha!

By 3 p.m., thanks to my diligent staff and much coercion by myself for them to work over if need be, we had this thing licked and we didn't have to work over! and I have coverage for TX and stat files.  Damn I'm good.

..and how was your Monday?

Adult Truths...

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

There is great need for a sarcasm font.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories.

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again..

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

I wish Google Maps had an "avoid Ghetto" routing option.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. (ladies......quit laughing!)