You Have Reached Tech Support...

May I Help You? 

"Yes. The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?

"Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder?

"It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point, the caller was put on mute to cover up the laughter as it was obvious the caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive! oops!

May I Help You?

Yes, I have a problem with my Canon printer.

Are you running it under Windows, ma'am?

"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine!"

After A Few Checks, The Tech Says...

"O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape key at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."

"I don't have a 'P'."

"On your keyboard, Bob."

"What do you mean?"

'P' on your keyboard, Bob."

"I'm not going to do that!"

If A Computer Had a Gender, What Would It Be?

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in masculine gender because:

• In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
• They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
• They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
• As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:

• No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
• The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 
• Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
• As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories.

I have been wasting too much time on these puzzles, but it is fun to explore the different cuts and try to put them together.  This was a doozey! How long did it take me to work this puzzle? The average time it said was 15 minutes 41 seconds, fastest time (supposedly) was 3: 02, yeah right... huh? Well, let's just say my time was not impressive! Going to try it, are you?

My Week in Review...Thank God it's almost Friday!

I knew it would happen sooner or later, I would have to give a critical review on a transcriptionist's report, and lo and behold, today was that day! How long have I been doing quality control? Not even a week yet, folks...

As some of you know, whether you want to or not! lol I have gone from typing medical reports all day to joining the ranks of quality control hub! I am in charge of reading, making changes, and grading errors. I do believe typing reports is mentally easier than grading them!

My email to the supervisor went something like this~

I did not grade specific errors on this report as it would have taken way too long for each individual one, but gave it a critical error status overall. The only initials on this particular report were "well let's not say it here in blogdom!"

First and foremost, a red flag automatically goes up when the first thing I see is that the Social Security number formatted on the report as ***-***-*** ? Most everybody knows that a Social Security number has four digits at the end, right? Okay, this tells me to pay close attention!

As I began to listen to the doctor who was dictating, and proofing the quality of work on this particular document, it was obvious that client format was not followed. The Assessments Completed section (which is a lists of psychometric tests in number format) was totally left out, so was the name of the psychometrician, and the title of the report also was not changed to reflect what the doctor dictated as a "Neuropsychological Screening Profile". A 'blank template test' was left in the report by the transcriptionist that obviously should be taken out totally. You see, we have templates for certain doctors which include some testing already formatted, so all the transcriptionist has to do is fill in the blanks, and/or omit any tests that are not a part of this particular report. Easy, right?

Obviously there was not a format for the Cognistat included in this particular sample report (but we do have them accessible), as the Cognistat test format typed by this particular transcriptionist was so very disorganized and jumbled, I totally had to redo the typing and the formatting of the Cognistat to clean it up!

Also factoring into grading this report was the multitude of changes I did consistently throughout it, which included grammar and punctuation. There were words substituted instead of what the client actually dictated, and made absolutely no sense in sentence context. Also, there were countless word omissions and also proper names which were not recognized and/or capitalized such as clinic names. There was also a couple of wrong word forms such as 'two for to.'

The quality of the client's dictation was excellent, and he was easily understood. However the quality of this report, in my opinion, was critical.

I admit, I have a pet peeve when it comes to particular grammar errors, and come on...who spells divorce with two 'e's on the end? We all know a divorcee is a person who has been divorced! If you don't know anymore than using the spellchecker you are in for a serious awakening in this profession. I once had a girl who made such stupid errors that she made herself a cheat sheet and went by it religiously! as she had one foot on a banana peel and looking at unemployment! When having to sort through and fix all of these errors, it was sad to me that someone obviously struggled through it, or it totally oblivious to them as to what they were hearing?!

and like I told the supervisor in my email today, pull up the report and judge for yourself. So tomorrow morning, either I am going to be praised for my diligence and bluntness, or I am going to be "talked to" about being overly judgmental grading style!

UPDATE:

Ah, my first QA workweek is over! Today I laughed at some foreign doctors accent, he was so funny, O-'Bass (like a fish)'-ity...for obesity he would say! it cracked me up! and then there was coke for "cocaine" that some MT typed, and one foreign doctor insisted on spelling every word he dictated at the end of a sentence! I kid you not! I thought how odd..."Why?" He's bad enough to decipher with the accent, and I couldn't even make out his spelling but I did understand the words he said. Yep, it a pretty fun day overall!

and TGIF, baby!!!

A Guide to Gift-Giving For Men Who Need Hints...

Ladies, haven't we all been here before? It's your birthday, the holidays (which will be here before we know it), or perhaps your anniversary and you were expecting something really romantic? or a few hundred greenbacks, or a limitless credit card to buy what you want?!

Get real!

Men don't have a clue! They are way too practical and cheap!



that'll teach 'em!

and here's ya something to play with!

It took me way too many long to put this puzzle back together!

Surely you can beat my time of 6 minutes 8 seconds!

Go ahead, I double dog dare ya! record your time too!

btw, who sang, "Starry, Starry Night?"

OhMyGod!!!

Alrighty, okay, maybe my injury is not THAT bad... but it is comparable! because it couldn't hurt any worse, at least the snake has to let go, right? All I was doing was looking for a good picture that said ouch, and I found one, eh?! I don't think that was a kiss...

I raked my left middle fingernail trying to shut my garage door out back, after my hooligan in-laws came to get a blanket out of their crappy stash taking up room in my garage. The actual length of the nail was left intact (which I clipped off), however I have a big fat rip halfway across the nail and halfway down the nail itself. It hurts bad. Screams and potty words could be heard upon impact!

Even though my middle finger throbs like a motherhummer, in the back of mind lurks the faint memory of an ER visit in which I was having right big toenail pain, which I saw my family physician for and he passed it off as not looking infected; however I was contemplating a trip to New York City (which would involve a lot of walking), and still having problems with it which I never had before, so I went to have it checked out. The ER doctor said it was ingrown (you think the family doc would have known), and despite my stupidity of realizing just how much this procedure would hurt, I agreed for him to fix this. What I didn't realize was that he would sadistically and brutally numb my toe with numerous bee-sting needle pokes, and the pain that I suffered just to numb it, come to find out, was all in vain becuase I still felt every damn thing.

Yes, I do believe I have a high pain threshold as childbirth did not hurt as bad as that numbring ER encounter, I kid you not, and that doctor was lucky he didn't suffer any bodily injury. I was offered nothing before the brutal numbing began, believing it wasn't going to be that bad, but I was left shaking afterwards, and my toe was bruised beyond belief. My advice is that if you have anything wrong with your toenails, especially an ingrown, tell them you want to be totally knocked out! Therefore any visit to the ER for my newly acquired fingernail injury is entirely out of the question!

In my line of work, I need all my fingers equally... Nurse K? calling Nurse K, what can I do but ice and wrap it? and Dr. Grumpy would you call me in a fifth of Crown at the drug store? Will one of yuns write me an excuse for work tomorrow, too? I can see me emailing work tomorrow..."My middle finger hurts and has a temperature, and so does my head!" yep, after numbing that puppy with two or three Crown and Cokes...

ouch...shit...dammn...fruck...somebody kiss and make it better.

Do I Look A Little Stressed?

not to mention my eyes feel like two pee holes in a snow bank!

I survived my first day of Quality Assurance, but I'm not so sure I did that great a job at it.  I was under the impression that any and all errors were to be graded, so I overdid it on the first one, and the rest of the day I probably under did it.   Oh well, it's a learning process, right? I think I instant messaged my QA supervisor more than I needed to, bless her, she was very sweet and encouraging.

If it were up to me, every DSM-IV diagnoses would be capitalized, it drives me nuts they are not, especially when grouped in a diagnosis format, i.e., Axis I, Axis II, Axis III, blah...blah.  Ugh!

Some dictators want them all lower case (so says the AAMT Book of Style), which doesn't even look right, and some want them all Capitalized, it's exhausting.  One lady wants the word "Claimant" capitalized throughout the entire report.  I think on one MT's report, I replaced this 29 times.  I think I suffered more eye strain that normal, because I was constantly looking at the screen all day long, and it's no wonder my head hurts!

I gotta go the store, (I absolutely hate this task) cause come tomorrow I might not have a car again for God knows how long, depending.  Yes, after spending 11 hundred bucks to put a motor in, it start missing?...I was p'od, and Walter says he will come back tomorrow to get it and drive it out to the boys who put the motor in and say, "Smell it too, and hear the miss?"  Like I said, if a cherry motor has only 40 thousand miles on it, it is NOT going to stink like burnt crayon (it's done that since it came home) or have a miss in the motor...Do I have stupid written across my forehead or something? ha! Don't be messin' with a hillbilly gal.   She'll whoop up on ya! and while I'm at it, I'm stopping off at the drug store for a bottle of wine to soothe my whine!

and how was yuns day? ya know, in the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural but in hillbilly ya'll is yuns!

Did you guys watch tonight's edition of Hoarders on A & E Channel? It was about two middle-aged women named Tara and Betty. 

Tara has been reported to her landlord and needs to clean out her apartment or she'll be homeless. She's an obsessive collector, favoring things like McDonald's Happy Meal toys, nativity scenes, snow globes and hundreds of teddy bears.  Tara must finally get control of her hoarding and part with most of the clutter in her home or face eviction.

In Tara's case, she said what started out as collecting led to boxes filled with stuff, and her biggest problem was learning to organize her things. By the show's end, she had made very little progress and had much left to do; however it seemed promising that she would still commit herself to the progress.

When fire crews responded to a small fire at Betty's house, they discovered her sick husband living in filth, as they couldn't even get a gurney in the house. Adult Protective Services removed him from the home because of his medical condition.  He had been an alcoholic all his life, and schizophrenic on top of his medical concerns.  They also had a grown schizophrenic daughter living in the home, who was also hoarding, and had three whole rooms upstairs filled with junk.  For the last two months Betty and her husband have been staying in a hotel as their house was inhabitable--but funds were quickly running out. If Betty doesn't clean up her home and her yard, he may never be able to live in the home again. 

What I found truly sad about this show was  the fact that Betty's daughters thought she chose "things" over them, one daughter sick with leukemia, and another daughter made the heartwrenching choice to walk out of her mother's life realizing that she could not help her.  I think Betty's position pretty much came through with her demeanor about the stuff, stating, "You are not here, only visitors for a short time, and the stuff is; obviously she finds solace in having things instead of people in her life, she was lonely.   She stated at one point, "I am a rescuer of stuff."  I don't think Betty will continue to make any real progress, however by the end of the show she had one room free of stuff and the yard was fairly well cleaned up.  It said at the end of the show that her husband was able to return home.

it's a sad, horrible thing, this hoarding addiction.  I think deep down we could all be hoarders of more junk than we need, I know I got more than I need, and constantly feel the need to clean out and throw out the more I watch this series!

Movin' On Up...

to the East Side...to a deluxe apartment in the sky...Go ahead sing it! surely you guys remember this, right? Who didn't love George & Weezy?! and here's your challenge, bloggers, without looking it up.  Do you remember the name of the cantankerous maid?

Anyway I got a phone call Friday from work by a lady that I was close to, which surprised me, because she is no longer typing medical reports due to physical problems and she moved into another section of the transcription business when our small company merged with a larger transcription company. I went on to work from home, and so we haven't seen each other since the company Christmas dinner last year.

She calls me and asks if I might be interested in joining the QCH. What is the QCH? The Quality Control Hub...yes, instead of typing reports, I will be doing my part in Quality Assurance. My job will be to draw up other medical transcriptionist's reports and make any errors, grade their performance, and the re-upload the reports. In our company, we have a 3-tier QA system, which means each report goes through 3 sets of Quality Assurance personnel, before it gets shipped off to the physician.

While I am excited at this possibility of less typing, I am surprised that with this new responsibility comes no raise in paycheck? How does that not happen? I am concerned that protocol is new to me and very much involved, especially when grading other MT's (medical transcriptionists) work.

Monday should prove to be an interesting day, as I still don't have some the proper materials (like the AAMT Book of Style) I need, or the TurboFlow QA program downloaded on my computer to get this new job done?!

Update: The support tech and I got the QA Program on here, we'll see if it works tomorrow bright and early!

*the music jazz box has been taken down*

and by the way, the maid's name was Florence!

Life Lately in Urbappalachia...

It's been a blur of days, weeks, and drama-filled months here. If one kid isn't blowing up, it's another. I swear I was watching and reading about Venus Fly Traps and I thought to myself...I wonder if I could grow one big enough to feed family members to? After all they digest, leave no trace, it's perfect, right?! ... Yup, sometimes I wished I lived on another planet or was just crazy enough not to care at all, much less work...

Speaking of work, I am now a member of the QHC club. Instead of typing all day, my job will be worse?!

Yes, I will be initiated into the world of Quality Hub Control in two days.

My Mission: Login in, bring up the motherboard of documents that I will QA'ing by other Medical Transcriptionists (there are over a thousand), listen to the dictator, proof the document, make the changes, ship it off to cyberspace, and grade the quality of work by the transcriptionists (not by the report per se overall but with each error they make, huh?)... [[EMOTICON:SHOCK1]] [[EMOTICON:STUNNED1]]

No longer will I be typing, I will be more stressed out, right? It is unnerving as there is so much to learn in proofing materials (some doctors want this, some want that?) and the grading error scale. I don't think my brain is prepared for what is going to happen come Monday morning.

Get Ready. Set. Launch. Let's hope I don't get lost in space!

Give me encouragement



and in trade I will give you this~

a few Testimonials of people who should have kept their traps shut?!

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,

'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'

I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word...

He knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY :
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.

He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls!'

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'

My sister started to laugh hysterically.

The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.

To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished...

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,

'If you don't let me go right now,

I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.

The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven- month-old daughter, she was clean.

Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'.

I kept thinking, 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'

'No,' he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.

Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident?

This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled...

'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:

'So Bob , where's that 6 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

and that's all folks~!

Love?! Lord Above...

My friend Susie and I were discussing the 'love' subject the other day, and she told me she has pretty much given up on it. She gave up years ago she said because her daughter (now grown) has autism and nobody would want all that extra baggage. I can't even get her out of the house. "I could have been somebody" she tells me, but "she has ruined my life." (talking about her mentally ill grown daughter). I don't know, I don't think I would sacrifice personal love just because my daughter had special needs. Her daughter is taking two college courses as well. It's not like this grown daughter's father isn't providing support. He picks her up everyday, so Susie has relief and help. Lots of people have it rougher. To each their own. I don't know which is worse, having a daughter with autism or having a daughter on drugs and being sick in that way?

Sometimes I think in a way I have given up on love myself, and hang onto the notion that this long distance relationship is enough. Its not about the quantity of time we spend together, it's the quality of it. There he is with his, states away, and here I am with mine. I guess what I need is time spent. I don't want or need a 24-7 partner, I just feel the need to love and be loved. Is there such a thing as true love, ya think, bloggers? I have always heard that in order to find love you have to be looking, right? and your heart has to be ready to receive love. So many people I know say their disappointed in their love choices, but is it really the person or their perception of how it was supposed to go? Some people are just not capable of loving another person. Love, to me, is always worth the risk of injury to the heart, but so many fear being hurt.

My sister, (we laugh about this still), called me and told me love came knocking on her door in the form of a handyman she hired to do some work for her! Was it love or Memorex?! Yes, he is a now a distant memory. She found a new guy who bought her boobies and he is still playing with them! You never know, love creeps up like Candid Camera when we least expect it sometimes. Me? I joke about the gardener, but he's just a friend, always has been, and not a love interest. If you'd like to share a little love story about where and how you met your significant other that would be great! or how he (or she) floats your boat, be my guest! Here's a little love dedication to all you bloggers out there, in love still, or still looking.

“I prayed to God for a love so true
now,
I, realize He already knew.
In time my prayer was answered,

a most wonderful match

He blessed me with you.”

"For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it.

For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it.

For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it. " - Ivan Panin

“I love you not only for what you are,

But for what I am when I am with you

I love you not only for what you have made of yourself

But for what you are making me

I love you for the part of me that you bring out.”

“With you in my heart, my life is complete,

You're the air that I breathe and the food that I eat.

You are my soul mate, the beat in my heart,

It feels like a year each second we're apart.”





“Much joy and happiness you bring me.

If I had life to live again,
I'd want to with you,
my lover, my best friend.

always and forever, I'll love you till the end."

♥♥ Have a great Friday, bloggers! Much love to yuns!