too many reindeer games...

I noticed at some point in the morning when I had to get up out of my nice warm bed to pee, I was stiff as a board and my muscles hurt, and then this morning when coming down the stairs even my hips hurt.

Was I rode hard and put up wet?! and more importantly why don't I remember? Perhaps Mamaw (as Bella calls me) did get run over by a reindeer!

Ahhhh yes...I just figured it out. Its those darn reindeer Wii games. That bowling game, which is tons of fun, along with the Just Dance moves, which Bella and I engaged in yesterday wore my muscles out since they aren't used to such hard work, and made me sore!

Yep, I must totally be out of shape, like I didn't know that already...something to work on in the New Year.

I guess I'll have to invest in some Potion#3; a remedy for sore, strained and bruised muscles. Supposedly this stuff is enhanced with Gotu Kola extract, Arnica and St. John's Wort herbal oils. Promotes healing of sore muscles and joints, has an overall soothing experience, excellent for the reduction of swelling and bruising. Go get your own.

so tell me, what toys did Santa bring you?

The Hot Night Before Christmas Party...

‘Twas the night before Christmas

and all through the house,

all Ya’ll was drunk

‘cept for the mouse.

The stockings were scattered

and panties were too,

for all who came by

to see what you do.

The children, ‘cross town

where carols, they’ll sing,

while you and your friends

party and swing.

Me in my thong

and you, without pants,

all watched from the couch,

the prostitutes dance.

Our new friends this evening

now know us too well,

and all who are with us

hope no one will tell.

When up on the roof

we heard such a noise

like the pulsing vibrations

of our favorite toys.

While out on the lawn

arose such a clatter,

but we were all stoned

so it didn’t matter.

When in walked the vice squad,

warrants and all,

and you said, “He’s cute,”

pointing at one tall.

And he said, “Hands up,

and do what you’re told.”

But you replied, “Bondage

is getting so old!”

So down at the station

they dragged us all in.

I called my bondsman

to make bail again.

But my bondsman was busy

with problems his own.

Seems he’s in here with us

and no one’s at home.

It’s the night before Christmas

and we’re all in jail.

Do you think Dear Ol’ Santa

might go our bail?

Then we could all party again, New Year’s.

Merry Christmas, bloggers

Hope Santa brings you everything you want for Christmas, and blessings to you in the coming Year.

What I want Santa can't bring necessarily.  I would like to have personal love back in my life.  Long distance relationships are hard, especially when each have other responsibilities, even families.  He was never really mine, he was only borrowed.  I gave him love wholeheartedly, still love him, so I wait for some Christmas miracle of sorts...like him showing up at my doorstep with only Santa boots and a red cap on! ha!

or him driving up, tooting a car horn and surprising me with a car for Christmas that I so desperately need...ha! I know that's a fantasy right there...lol...but nevertheless I miss him...I miss not having that personal love and affection. 

This year has been a trying one in a lot of ways. Family issues, legal issues, custody issues, 18 year old don't know what the hell they want to do issues, work issues...all without personal love.  damn. Half the time I don't know whether I'm coming or going, some days up, some days down, some times I just don't care, whatever it takes to remain sane, ya know. A nap?  Yeah, I could use one of those too. 

I seem to be in this melancholy mood here the last couple of days. I've been thinking about my root family, my mother, father, siblings... ho.ho.humbug.  My mother and father have both passed away, and even though all my siblings are alive but one, we hardly ever see each other. Yep, I've been good all year, for years, but Santa never brings me a dag gone thing.  That's life in Appalachia, living small and hard. 

I am truly grateful for little Bella to be living with me, and be safe here, and I need to remind myself of blessings I have like health, a job, a roof over my head and food in the cupboards. However it seems I owe my mortgage escrow $150 bucks, so much for me having any money sliding into the New Year, ha!

on that note, I'll say, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnite."

Homemade Holiday Delights...

Tonight I was in my local drug store when I happened to spy a tub of creamed pulled candy upon a shelf in the Christmas aisle. I was there to pick out an ornament to take into work tomorrow for a gift ornament exchange and a catered lunch.

OMGosh!! Seeing that tub of creamed pulled candy brought back memories of my 90 year old Aunt Minnie, who would every holiday make pulled creamed candy that was a pure delight and melted in your mouth!

Aunt Minnie always seemed 90 years old to me my whole childhood. Bless her heart. I have nothing but fond memories of her and creamed candy! but I could never forget her husband, Uncle Ritchie, who spent his days rubbing his chair arm and clacking his teeth after a stroke, not able to really communicate his needs. Their daughter, Christine, was the closest thing to God that I ever knew. She spent nearly everyday in the church, was a Sunday school teacher and church organist, and paid for my sister and I to take piano lessons. She was the most giving, loving, and soft spoken person who spent her whole life with her parents and helped take care of them until they passed away.

I wondered if Mom Blakeman’s could live up to Aunt Minnie’s creamed candy, and I was pleasantly surprised that it melted in my mouth. It was absolutely delicious! Just like Aunt Minnie’s…

I went to the website. Here is the link if you’d like to order you some pulled creamed candy. Established in 1961 by "Mom" Blakeman, it remains a family owned and operated company in Kentucky dedicated to producing the highest quality creamed pull candy available. Light, rich, flaky and hand-made with pure butter and sugar, it really does melt in your mouth.

Yep, it definitely does melt in your mouth, no kidding!

I Want Cot For Christmas...

The Storm, 1880

Pierre-Auguste Cot (French, 1837–1883)

I have to admit I had "a crush" on this painting.  I had come across it somewhere online a few years ago.  On a trip to New York a friend surprised me by taking me to see the original painting at the MOMA (Metropolitan Museum of Art). 

All I can say is wow! It was larger than life.  This picture certainly does not do this painting justice let me tell you.  It is absolutely gorgeous, so after that I was totally in love with this painting. 

It has always enthralled me, always will. 

Did you ever just see a painting you absolutely had to have?

I want this one, the original, its hard to hang a copy when you've seen the original. 

Do you think the MOMA would ever sell it to the highest bidder? If not perhaps I could employ an art thief to steal it...

I guess I'll be disappointed again when Christmas comes and its not taking up my whole livingroom!

Shopping with Bella...

I try every year to expand the shopping experience by exploring the wideworld net in search of those unique Christmas gifts...

for the smoker in your life....

No one likes to stand in the rain alone, yet smokers everywhere are constantly forced to smoke outside. So what's a smoker to do when it's raining and they just have to get their puff on?

The Smoker's Umbrella is the ultimate solution for cigarette lovers who are caught in the cold. The kit comes with an ash tray attachment and an adorable cigarette-styled carrying case.

Know someone completely morbid? Maybe someone who hates rodents? Well, I'm sure there's someone on your list who would like genuine, freeze-dried squirrel feet earings. haha! I'm gonna get my MIL a pair of those! She's so fashionable (or thinks she is!)

Please don't ask me where they get the feet, I sincerely don't want to know. Of course, if you do buy these for someone, you might want to make sure you don't spend too much time with them afterwards. After all, buying earrings for someone doesn't mean you ever want to be seen with the person wearing them.

Try some fun with Fundies!

For those couples who share everything...and doesn't accept that there is such a thing as too much intimacy.

Underwear for two, is a great gift for those annoying couples who are pretty much joined at the hip anyway. You never know, maybe getting a gift like this will make them realize how clingy they've been, and hopefully, they won't be so damn annoying anymore.

It could just be the gift that keeps on giving.

If you know someone who likes to rock out with their ass out, then this iCarta (pictured below) is the perfect gift for them. Finally the serenity of bathroom sessions can be brought up to pace with the modern world as you combine a love of clearing bowels with a love of rock and roll.

This makes a great gift for women who are too insecure to use the toilet while other people can hear them. Of course, if they realize that people then start to associate music playing in the bathroom with their pooping, then they'll have even more issues to deal with.

that's it today, for this edition of shopping with Bella; join us next time, until then happy shopping!

If any of these above items interest yuns, go buy it here.

and last but not least...

In the spirit of the Wild West, this holster keeps his beer ready for a quick draw whenever the need arises. Made of rugged leather, it snaps onto any standard belt and the adjustable nylon strap wraps around the thigh for additional support. A fun accessory for parties and tailgates, it also makes a convenient holder when he needs his hands free for grill duty.

Exclusively from RedEnvelope.

made of rugged leather
adjustable nylon strap for additional support
holster fits a 12 oz. can or bottle

Yes, click the link and get yuns one! How much does it cost? It ain't cheap! but there are lots of nice gifts on this site.

Happy Holidays, bloggers...

Spirit of Christmas Past...

No matter how many years I live, I will never forget my Dad staggering up the stairs with a little flashlight in hand, trying to be quiet but it was an impossible task in his intoxicated state! as often he would bump and sway his way up the stairs and into our bedrooms.  It always makes me laugh to think about it.  Most times as kids we would be snickering and laughing (pretending to try to be asleep) as he pranced upon each of our beds, shined the flashlight on us, and would say, "SanteeeeClauzzzz is here...Time to get up!" slurring his words.  He was drunker than a monkey's uncle! Yeah, he spent most Christmas Eves doing so, while mom put together bikes and trikes and whatever demanded wholeness for gifts, as well as making sure we had cookies and candies on the table for when we got up too...not to mention our stockings.  There were six of us.  She did all the work, and while she wanted slumber, Dad had other ideas.  He was like a big kid himself. 

Back in our days, perhaps other families had allowances for chores, heck we had to do ours for free, so come Christmastime there was no money for gifts for us to get our parents, or perhaps our friends even, so we had to be rather inventive.  I was the instigator to get mom and dad something for Christmas, so I would go through my mom and dad's closet or chest of drawers, and find stuff (mom had these awesome slips that she got from her mother when they found her things after she was found dead but that's another story) and that year Mom got awesome slips as Christmas gifts, and Dad got wrapped up socks and dress shirts that he hardly wore.

Mom was less than enthusiastic about the slips but Dad loved that one! She deserved more than she ever received.  Of course both Mom and Dad would wait until the mountain of papers from six excited kids was over before they would even open up theirs.  I look back with fondness for their sacrifice is trying to make our Christmas wishes come true.  After a few years they began to know what was coming, LOL, but even though it was a repeat performance it became that magical Christmas moment, well for me anyway, watching their reactions, especially Dad's, as he would always get teary eyed opening his up, show it off and/or put it on, and would tell us that was the best gift(s) he ever got, and I believe it was.

Give the gift of Love, bloggers! Merry Christmas!

What Do You Want For Christmas?

I wanta Hoola-Hoop!

Most of us watched some Alvin and the Chipmunks, or our kids did. This animated group was created by Ross Bagdasarian, Sr. in 1958. The group consists of three singing animated chipmunks: Alvin, the mischievous troublemaker, who quickly became the star of the group; Simon, the tall, bespectacled intellectual; and Theodore, the chubby, impressionable sweetheart. The trio is managed by their human father and confidant, David Seville. In reality, David Seville was Bagdasarian's stage name, and the Chipmunks themselves are named after the executives of their original record label, Liberty Records: Alvin Bennett (the president), Simon Waronker (the founder and owner), and Theodore Keep (the chief engineer). This is the original version for TV.

"Christmas, Christmas time is near

Time for toys and time for cheer

We've been good, but we can't last

Hurry Christmas, hurry fast

Want a plane that loops the loop

Me, I want a hula hoop

We can hardly stand the wait

Please Christmas, don't be late."

The Chipmunks first officially appeared on the scene in a novelty record released in late fall 1958 by Bagdasarian (creator of the Chipmunks). The song, originally listed on the record label (Liberty F-55168) as "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)," featured the singing skills of the chipmunk trio. One phrase in the chorus has Alvin wishing for a hula hoop, which was that year's hot new toy. The novelty record was highly successful, selling more than 4 million copies in seven weeks, and it launched the careers of its chipmunk stars. It spent four weeks at Number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart from December 22, 1958 to January 12, 1959. It also earned three Grammy Awards and a nomination for Record of the Year.

How many of you had a Hoola-Hoop?! I did but mine didn't come that early, it was in the mid 1960s! There's an art to keeping the Hoola-Hoop going isn't there?! I wished I had one in the house, I'd try that again just to see if I could do it.

Remembering When...

Childhood is over way too fast, isn't it? This holiday season is bringing home to me those childhood memories with my mother, and my own relationship with my daughters; the youngest on the verge of adulthood in age, still a child in many ways.

When we share ~ that is poetry in the prose of life. ~ Sigmund Freud.

This year is the first year I have put up a Christmas tree since my mother died suddenly a few years back. My dad passed away in 1997. I have been orphaned pretty much for a few years now. All my sisters live away; I miss them, and I hope to visit them more often now that a financial obligation will finally be over and I will have more money available for perhaps traveling.

All my years of growing up with 2 brothers and 3 other sisters, we never failed to have Thanksgiving or Christmas despite the hardship it often was financially. Mom was a stay-at-home mother, a full time job with 6 rugrats, and my dad the sole breadwinner.  Mom was the one who did all the technical stuff of putting together the bicycles, wiring lamps, putting the sprocket chain on the bicycle or fixing the brakes on it, and whatever else needed done; she was the chief mechanic and bottle washer.  Dad would just get toasty or lay out on the weekends binging with his buddies after working all week; not that he was a bad father per se, just had a substance abuse problem. 

I realized when I got to be an adult just how much my mother really did for us. She was a seamstress sewing us awesome clothes, nobody else had, one of a kind yet trendy, however she suffered physical and emotional abuse in her own personal life at those who professed to love her. I admire my mother's strength through her adversity growing up and then by the hand of my own father who was an alcoholic and abusive toward her at times.  I had a friend tell me just recently that she thought I was the strongest person she has ever known, I didn't know what to say except I felt humbled, and told her she should have met my mother and my father, both of whom raised me bohemian, but I turned out okay.

This year, I pulled out the box of ornaments my mother had lovingly packed away that she had fully expected would be there for her when Christmas rolled back around, but instead she was called back home suddenly, which was a devastating loss for all of us, and her collection of ornaments and decorations were given to me months afterward.  She had nothing of any great material value, neither did my father, but each of them left me with values and strength.  I often wonder if my girls could say that about me.  Time will tell. 

Each year my mother's tree was stunning. She worked for hours and hours on it. She never had a prelit tree but you wouldn't know it. Every branch was beautifully lit and decorated with all her keepsake ornaments. It has taken me three years after her death to be able to open that crate of ornaments and this year "her little Rosebud" (her great granddaughter, my granddaughter Isabella Rose) and I decorated a tree in her honor.  The time was right and it felt good. This year I might be low in money due to having to pay off a financial burden, I'm no stranger to poor, but I feel rich in spirit and thankful, and of course I have the most beautiful tree ever thanks to my mother!