The First Day of Third Grade.

"Mamaw, I had the best day!" she blurted out as she came running from the bus. 

This year has been a lot of change for Bella, now 8, not living with her parents anymore, and being separated from her brother; he lives with his paternal grandparents since January; Bella has lived with me, her maternal grandmother, since April.  She sees her brother weekly but its not the same.  She loves her mother but does not see her much either.  She tells me that she loves her mom but she does not want to live with her mom.  She needs stability and routine, and love mixed with discipline; something she did not get when she lived with her paternal grandparents or with her parents for that matter.

She was really having a hard time back late winter/spring this year being separated from her mother, and mother-in-law and her did not get along; perhaps because mother-in-law did not like my daughter (Bella's mother).  Bella felt constantly picked on and her feelings ignored, while her brother was lavished with attention and could do no wrong in the eyes of her paternal grandparents.  It was awful for her.  In court in March, mother-in-law said she did not want Bella, that she could not handle both of them, and Bella was made a ward of the State.  Bella is not mother-in-law's blood granddaughter; my daughter was married to her son, who is Bella's little brother's father.  She is living here with me as a relative placement, and thank God! moving here was the best thing that ever happened to the kid.  No more of those bad fit-throwing behaviors; she was a different kid.  She was living in such stress out there with her parents and the in-laws. 

Those days are long-gone, but Bella still expresses concern over her brother living out there.  She wants him here with us.  I'm not so sure I could take on a 4-year-old too.  He's a handful, now with bad behaviors himself, terribly spoiled, and still not potty-trained! All summer long he was not put in any type of program to be around other kids his age, just left to run around that nasty house of the in-laws, rip, roarin' and tearin'!  I put Bella in a summer Y camp so I could work at my own expense.  I think it is so important for kids to socialize with other children their age.  Anita (mother-in-law) kept saying how she needed to put Wyatt in daycare a few days a week to be around other kids, but never did.  Unbelievable that both mother and father-in-law are home all day with Wyatt and he runs around in a diaper at 4.  Its shameful.  She says, "Wyatt won't wear his underwear without a fit.." I say, big frickin' deal, you're the boss, you make the rules, not Wyatt!  He could go to HeadStart this fall, which I've told Anita for the past 3 months, but they won't take him in diapers!  Wyatt became her responsibility in January of this year, plenty enough time for a college educated teacher to have potty-trained a 4-year-old...makes me cringe! However, should I really be surprised?  She has never let her grown son really grow up, and she keeps making excuses for him as he sits in a jail cell due to probation violation over drugs?  She obviously is so lackadaisical in consistency if she is even trying at all.  He knows the rules here, and pretty much abides by them when he's here...out at the in-laws there are no rules.  Sad. Bella rarely goes out there anymore and that is her choice.  I usually bring Wyatt here to visit.  Give him to me for a week and he'd be potty trained!

Before the bus came this morning there was a discussion about what to do in case the bus brought her home and I was not there yet from work.  I told her not to worry, that I would always be there on time if possible, but the car could tear up or traffic could be backed up, any number of things, but it was important for her not to panic or get upset.  The school bus driver would know what to do, and the school would call someone on the contact list if I was not available, and I would see her as soon as I could. 

I have a meeting on September 1st, a review of this case, and if all goes well, Bella will become a permanent placement here with me.  I sure hope so.  I can't imagine her with anybody else. I'm the only person who has been in her life from day 1, outside of her mother. 

Seeing that smile on her face at the end of her first day of school made my day!  All that nervousness she had about a new school just vanished. 

Tonight was open house, and her teacher is wonderful! We are going to have a stellar year! The prinicipal already knows her on a first-name basis!  Yep, its back to homework, projects, and an early bedtime with hugs and an I love you tuck in!

speaking of which...I'm outta hea!