A Slick Story...

I think this lady could write a bestselling novel, she cracks me up...Here's a slick  tale...

I came up on a license and insurance check in my neighborhood.

No big deal; all of my paperwork is in order. I had it in my sweaty little fist.

But my window would not roll down. Something went ker-phlooey somewhere, and the window is stuck in the "up" position. If I try to roll it down it might stick. I might not be able to get it to close again.

I yelled to the Sheriff standing two feet away that the window would not go down, and went to open my door.

BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!! NEVER, EVER DO THAT!!!!!!

He did not hear me!

He grabs for his pistol and starts steppin' back, and I'm screamin' about the window with my hands up in the air!!

He finally did hear me, and turned loose of the pistol grip.

Much to our mutual relief. He thought it was kinda funny then and I thought I was gonna need Depends for the rest of my very nervous life.

Then she continues with her story...talking about the latest...

One story goin' 'round is that my husband was surrounded by law enforcement for having a bomb strapped to the front of his truck.
Wel-l-l-l-l-l..........that's about half-right.

I know the truck was surrounded because I was sittin' in it at the time, and we were not the only vehicle involved, or surrounded. There were cars lined up from all directions and EVERYBODY got a turn.

It was a HUGE roadblock involving law enforcement from all over this part of South Georgia.

There was the Drug Task Force-----complete with dogs 'cause it ain't a party without 'em-----and a mobile drug van for taking urine and blood samples.

Squad cars everywhere, most from neighboring communities, more drug units from other towns, chase units, and every light flashing.

I haven't seen that much law since the last time I watched the chase scene at the end of The Blues Brothers (Rest In Peace, John Belushi).

You could have seen all those flashin' lights from the space shuttle, but the road we were going down curves rather sharply and we didn't know they were on the place. When the road straightened out, there they were.

If you are guilty of possession, this is where I suggest that you start eating your stash. Baggie and all. Don't throw stuff out the window, they watch for that.

'Cause you're committed then. If you want to avoid the delay and try to skirt it, they come after you. It's Probable Cause then: You tried to evade the officers Prob'ly 'Cause you're guilty of somethin'.

The fact that you are 50 years of age and in bad need of a bathroom will mean exactly........nothing.

If you are squirming you look like you're on drugs. You WILL get to pee sooner or later, but you'll pee in a cup. With a witness.

We pulled up to the rear of the car ahead of us and here they came, RUNNIN' toward US!

Months before, in a burst of brilliance, my Darlin' had made up a hydrogen fuel cell generator. Since there was no room in the engine compartment, it was strapped to the grill. PVC pipe and shiny metal hardware. Tubing that just might look like wiring in
the dark.

The officers swarmed the truck.

"Where did you get the instructions for that?"

"How much you got in that thing?"

"Does it really work?"

"What's it doin' for your gas mileage?"

"Was it hard to fix up, and how long did it take?"

We were tellin' em where to look on YouTube, how much it cost, and answering all their questions.

They were pulling out paper and pens and taking notes.

I could have had a bale of weed, two dead bodies and an ATM machine in the back and they wouldn't have seen it.

After about ten minutes, here comes the Head Honcho, and told them to let us go since we had traffic backed up about a quarter-mile.

That's what happened, but that story pales in comparison to having a bomb strapped to front of the truck.

I keep hearing about the bomb.

Not a lot of Fifty Year Old Southern Baptist Suicide Bombers out there, y'all.

After reading this, I asked Slick if she lived in Hazard County because this reminded me of that old TV sitcom the "Dukes of Hazard..." ya'll remember that show?

Slicks says..."Nope, no Hazzard County here, Bella! Looks like we've got our own Boss Hogg and a Roscoe, though. Our mayor just won his 17th consecutive term; he's been mayor since 1969. And the Sheriff has scared the snot out of anybody who would run for his office, so we're stuck with him for a while. They pretty well run the show around here.

Can you imagine, one guy being Mayor since 1969?! if you'd like to visit Slick she's on my sidebar as "Peanuts In My Pepsi!"  She's got a great collection of funny stories!