The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs.
Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts; again she didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts!
The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts. On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store.. (Please scroll down).
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What were you thinking? Hellooooooo, shame on you!!! Her husband speaks English! I don't know about you people sometimes!
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There was a world famous painter who, in the prime of her career, started losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world.
After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored. The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office. Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall.
When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art: the doctor's office. During the press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor, 'What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office, especially that large eye on the wall?'
To this, the eye doctor responded, "I said to myself 'Thank the Lord, I'm not a gynecologist.'"
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A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf game.
Later on, the same thing happened and he approached the lady again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th." Once again he thanked her.
He finished his round and went into the club house and saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar. He went up to her and said, "Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help."
He started a conversation and asked her what kind of work she did. She said she was in sales, and he said he was in sales also.
He asked what she sold. She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh."
"No, I wouldn't," he said.
She said, "I sell tampons."
With that he fell on the floor laughing hysterically. She said, "See, I knew you would laugh."
"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm STILL one hole behind you."
Bada-Boom!
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At 85 years old, Morris marries a lovely 25-year-old woman. The woman decides that on their wedding night they should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that the old fellow might overexert himself. After the wedding festivities, she prepares herself for bed and for Morris to come to her room. Sure enough, there is a knock at the door and there is her groom, ready for action. They unite in conjugal union and after the main event, Morris leaves while his bride gets ready to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, there's a knock on the door and there's old Morris, ready for more action. Somewhat surprised, she consents to further coupling, after which the octogenarian bids her good night and leaves.
She is certainly ready for slumber at this point, when there is another knock at the door by Morris, who is as energetic as a 25-year-old and ready for more. Once again, they do the horizontal boogie. As they're relaxing, the young bride says to him, "I am really impressed that a man your age has enough juice to go at it three times. I've been with guys less than half your age who were only good for one time. You're a great lover, Morris." Morris looks confused.
He turns to her and says ...
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"I was here already?"
