Explore your inner Jeff Foxworthy...

You might be a redneck if...

 
 
*go ahead, bloggers insert your one-liner here*

Bella says...,

"Your truck doubles as a roadside cafe."

I'll add yours here...

 
 
Yup, we'll send this off to Jeff Foxworthy, of course with pending approval from the picture owner.  Maybe Jeff will love the pic and your one-liner enuff to give it a spot in his next redneck book~! heyyy you never know, you could become famously redneck-worthy!

in other news, bloggers...

Game over.  Yes, after slipping on that banana peel today, Ms. Incorrigible hung herself. 

I Dream of Jeanie is still hanging on.

laughable redneck truths, folks...

Yup, you might be a Redneck....IF

...any of your fantasies involve a Wal-Mart.

...the only book in your house is propping up the sofa~! (at one time my couch sat on brick stilts...lol)

... You've used a fishing license as a form of I.D.

... Your screen door has no screen. (haha...right now mine don't).

... You've had a black eye and hickey at the same time!

... You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

... You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap!

... Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.

... You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.

... You have ever waved at traffic from your front porch wearing just your underwear.

... You have a hefty bag where the window of your car should be.

... You have ever bar-b-qued Spam on the grill.

... You watch a bug zapper at night for entertainment.

... You catch-and-wear firefly jewelry.

... and last but not least...

You are a redneck if you've ever stolen a roll of toilet paper out of a gas station!

Come on, fess up!




to purchase this book, click here.

Another Edition of Redneck Games ...

the redneck version of parasailing

Do not try this at home, folks~!

Couchless In Kentucky and Couch Racing? Yep, that's what I said!

Yes, as most of you know (or might not know) my plight began very innocently when the gardener in fact (who not only cuts my yard but is always a bargain trash shopper) swapped me out a couch, telling me that "this one was better" in fact than the one I had, and he was going to give my couch to his niece for her two boys to romp on. What I didn't realize (since I didn't actually see it as I was upstairs in the shower or something) was that this couch was downright hideous! LOL ... so much for HIS taste, OMG!!! and even worse, after I called him to bitch (he was awaiting his flight at the time out of town for the winter months) he told me it had been out on their front porch and obviously with good reason! I wanted my couch back at that point but it was too late. Go figure. There was nothing wrong with my first couch other than having to prop it up on brick stilts ... as it was made for a midget family?

Don't ask...

Nothing like having this hideous brown floral ick of a couch inside the house for nearly two hours and nervously watching King Fuzzy, our adult male Maine coon cat, giving it an official sniff test! He was not impressed and neither was I, it just stunk frankly! OMGosh I dragged that bad boy out the door quicker than a lightning bolt and threw it out in the rain cursing ever so lightly under my breath! Good thing my teens' boyfriend happen to come over; we packed it to the alley and it vanished!

Good riddance to bad rubbish!

For months now due to the addition of teen daughter living here, I have been so flat broke and finances tight with legal issues, that buying a new couch was just out the question. I had been going into secondhand furniture stores without any luck until two days ago! Friday 13th as a matter of fact, a lucky day for Yours Truly! $40 bucks later and a phone call and it now sits in my livingroom! Granny must have had it, no broken springs, no rips or tears anywhere, good brand name, it just looks a little yellow like it has just sit for years I suppose in a parlor or something. Hopefully that will clean up, or I'll buy a throw to fit it. The most important thing is that it passed Fuzzy's sniff test, and it ain't flowered! LOL

Yep, we can once again sit on the couch and enjoy the livingroom again, but neither of us has yet to do so!

Are you ready for this? Let the Redneck Games begin!

I want to introduce yuns to a new sport. I bet ya'll have never heard of couch racing, have ya? Perhaps some of yuns has done this? That's probably where my couch went, swooped up from the alley, and off to the races!   
First you line 'em up! (Is that wheels on 'dem there couches?)



Figure out whose butt weighs less? some taunts throw around, and decide whose ridin' and whose pushin'!



and they're off, by golly! Can't you just hear the announcer? and now in the lead is the brown velour three cushion setee pushed by little Ms. Dixie, with Pernell suckin' hind tit after gettin' caught up in a mud puddle!  Yes, folks, it's gonna be a fight to the finish!



I don't think grandma Dix should be pushin' do yuns? What's wrong with that good ole boy a standing there? He looks like a healthy lot, no good for nothin'...