Where Do I Begin?




I remember a friend of mine once told me it didn't matter what I wrote, but just to start writing, pour it out on paper. Every day just write something. I have kept journals of my life and times, ups and downs, of births and of deaths. I have felt betrayed by my written words by those I thought I loved at one point in my life. I have been stripped bare and emotionless from a paper trail. People twist and distort your written words and emotional death can result. I know this firsthand, so I haven't written in years because of it, I mean really written about anything that mattered. I wonder once I pass on from this world to the unknown, who would care? Who would care about my thoughts, my feelings, my heart at that point in my life? Who would care where I was, or who I was to someone else.

Perhaps only in our mind we think our importance in this world, when in fact, others hold no value of us. This past weekend I was at an outdoor flea market place with a friend of mine. I happened upon a table which held someone's family history and momentos of her life. I thought how sad those end up here in this place. I felt embarrassed for her, a wife, mother, grandmother, just like me, whose cherished and handmade items were separated or lost by her loved ones. I bet she never thought her unclothed soul would lie naked and exposed for the world to see. I felt a connection of a soul to a soul, as I picked up the pieces of her life that laid there and sifted through her thoughts. Surely, she was important to someone, loved by someone.

I wondered if perhaps I should go home and burn it all unless it had great personal significance; why bother to write it down if no one reads it or cares. If your relationship with your loved ones is not what it should be, why would one think that they would want to read it. We all value our lives, no matter how insignificant we become. Strange to me, I had never thought that my own paper trail could end up hurting me much less coming back to haunt me, but instead I thought perhaps leaving written words and journals of my life and times might be of importance to those in my life after my passing, a memento of sorts, but now I question the validity of that. With the passing of people dear to me, like my mother and father, and a friend, I know that all we have are moments and what we leave in the hearts of others, not on paper. I never envisioned they could end up lying on a table, here in a little town somewhere, meaningless to passerbys.

till next time.

Queen Style Bitchin'...


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Are you depressed?

Are you feeling frumpy, dumpy, and otherwise grumpy? bloated, constipated, and hated? Just had your fill of it ???

Me tooooooo!!!!! and my frickin’ hair is shedding? Shit … not again !!!! I just saw a picture of me in my mind … I’ll be this fat and dumpy, wrinkly, short and ugly little Appalachia bald woman … I used to be a heart stopper, and now I’m just a Betty Crocker … Geeze, how depressing …

All I really need is a permanent vacation with a big-fat paycheck … and an all over body-makeover complete with surgical enhancement !!! God send me a plastic surgeon to date!! or let me learn of some smut on one here so I can blackmail him into getting what I want. Well, that might not be such a great idea. I could come out looking like Barbara Streisand! Yikes …

Oh, just screw it. I guess I’m stuck in always and forever appalachia land! Who wants a hillbilly Queen, right? and a bitchy one to boot! I bet I couldn’t hire somebody to … (well never mind that thought!!) … nor could I hold ’em down long enough to … (well never mind that thought either !!!) … Don’t laugh … that ain’t funny !!

Isn’t it strange when you’re young you marry for love … and you wake up 10 years later and have children bitchin’ at ya for a pair of 100 dollar shoes and designer jeans to keep up with the “Jones’.” How stupid was that ? marrying for love !!! I did that TWICE and it didn’t get me SHIT !!! I still don’t have a retirement. I’ll be working till I’m 90.

I would love to have a parent to take care of me again !! I tell my 15-year-old to milk it as long as possible … that it’s a cold, cruel world out there … and that she should not to be in such a hurry to grow up! Her only gripe is that her Dad & Sandy (the stepmother) are fashion stupid and subjecting her to shopping at Wal-Mart to her back-to-school. Can you imagine such an atrosity ? Well, they do relent to take her to Value City every once in a while … No great news there. He was always a cheap ass. I pay him good child support money, too !! I take her to all the “Grannie and hip” places … after all, I AM the coolest mom!! Anyway, that’s what she says. You remember what it was like starting the new year at high school as a sophomore? … ah, the pressure of it all … clothes should be the last worry !! after all, GIRLS need STUFF!!!

I thought I had two of mine raised, but every once in awhile they come back to bite me on the ass !!! I keep thinking I’ll get even and just move away but so far I’m still here. I do have an idea, though, to get out of this one horse town. I think it’s rather inventive, actually.

I remember every once in a while seeing a man sitting on the concrete embunkment at the bridge with a cardboard sign saying ”Homeless” …. “Will Work For Food.” This is a bridge heavily trafficked with people from KY, Ohio, and West Virginia … Sometimes they even walked up towards peoples cars holding out a can or whatever as cars would have a red light often times before turning. It could be a little scary. My son begged me to stop one day, pleading with me that we should help. While I’m all about helping people, I am also cautious and refused to do so. I did offer to take my son to the local church here who fixes meals for homeless or otherwise very low income people so he could help the poor and otherwise down on their luck people by volunteering. Do you think he did that? heck no, but it never came back up in our discussion. I know myself, that at present, I’m just one paycheck from the street myself … so I’m hoping Mr. MoneyBags Man will help my otherwise dwindling bank account … however … Today, I have come to the realization that “Mr. Right and/or Mr. MoneyBags” may never drive by and see my red light on the front porch !!!

So, I’ve decided to make me a sign, and walk to the corner of the bridge and plant myself up a perch, all duded up and looking like the sexpot I am !!! and on my sign is posted, “Will Marry For Money.” and in finer print … “Honk if you’d like a blow job.”

I know its sick … shame on me … Oh, kiss my ass !!!

I ask you Kingdom is this proper behavior from Yours Truly, The Queen?

and a tiny voice says, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, aren't YOU the bichiest Queen of all!"


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Oh, kiss my ass again~!!


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Damn It..

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I have a three-ring circus going on! ... or perhaps more like a sitcom of "My Three Men"
*insert giggle here*
How did that happen?

Things couldn't be more complicated at the palace! I need to diversify and simplify! Not to mention improvements on my hillbilly castle are being pushed back to satisfy actual "work demands!"

Damn, damn demands! LOL

The Queen is also a little stressed with calls from Grizelda Mess stating she can't handle her responsibilities as a parent! and just venting to me about ALL of her issues. Little Queenie herself will call me, and say "Mamaw, mommy's being mean to me, I wanta come to your house, sometimes she's crying, and I can hear Griszelda's tone in the background, hateful, and that makes me angry! I wanta reach through the phone line and slam the shit out of her! She says that trying to discipline is a waste of time because little Princess Queenie just does not listen! Actually little Queenie is smarter than her mother and father! Neither one of these "grownups" has a clue on how to parent. Griszelda Mess says "You can have her." I told her only if she signed over the papers and made it legal.

I know she doesn't mean it, she just needs a good talking to by "The Nanny." Both Grizelda Mess and Lord Spoiled need a few lessons from the Nanny on THEIR behavior!

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"Shut up, quit complaining, and grow your ASS up!" it's grownup TIME-OUT! Sit in the corner! *ROFL*


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Will they ever learn? fairy godmother!


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The Visit Soon Ends...

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I love to see my little babies come but I like to see them go as well! It's been a long tiring week and weekend to say the least. Did I mention that I had blood work the other day which confirmed that I had not only thyroid issues but I have chronic fatigue syndrome? For those of you who don't know about either of these particular disorders, let me tell you they are fairly comprehensive and physiological, reeking havoc on the entire body! No wonder I could never seem to have the energy I needed ... and having two other children to take care of three days this week has been a little taxing to say the least! I don't think Griszela Mess gets it ... she's just mad that "WE" the YOUNG, SEXY, ATTRACTIVE grand parents don't wish to keep those children any longer than what? since Wednesday?? but I guess she doesn't figure anybody has a life outside of her and her husband's bullshit! and that we're still recuperating from the drama they caused us for nearly a year, which by the way, seems to just go on and on, and on!!! She just got mad at me a little bit ago because we didn't want to keep the kids any longer than tomorrow but I'm over it! She can kiss my royal heiney!

She called last Monday bitching and carrying on something awful, wanting the kids to come up Tuesday instead of Wednesday because she had a doctor's appointment to get on a new medication, called Cyboxin. Supposedly this is better than methadone and of much shorter a duration to come off of drugs completely. Anyway, she said her appointment would take 8 to 10 hours because they would dose her every 2 hours, and have her check back in, and such, so it was decided that instead of putting the children through that, we would get them Tuesday night, which of course, I didn't see them until Wednesday as they spent the night at "his" mom and dad's house because they picked them up halfway and it was late.

She had been off methadone nearly a week and told me she was buying it off the street until she could see that doctor and get on the Cyboxin. OMG! What now?? NOT AGAIN !!!! Her emotional state was erratic as she had called me a couple of times last Monday out of sorts, having withdrawal symptoms, and I worried about her and the kids. Supposedly Lord Spoiled is still holding down the job, and has been on Siboxin as well. He is not very supportive of my daughter, and now since he is working and making the money, he holds that over my daughter's head, making her feel her job of taking care of two children is unimportant.

According to his mother, who came to drop off little Wyatt each morning, her and her baby boy are still attached at the hip. Lord Spoiled calls her mommy every day whining over every little argument with the Evil Griszelda, his wife! It's sickening. I can see right now, she is the meddling mother-in-law, siding against Griszelda, believing every word her baby boy says, undoubtedly he plays the part very well. When is she going to cut her apron strings? I told her in no uncertain terms that I do not get sucked into their drama and neither should she, let them work it out, and STAY OUT OF IT!!!! Somehow I think that is going to be hard for her to do. She would be the type of mother who would encourage her son to leave this woman and take that baby away from her, so SHE could raise it! with her husband who is good for nothing and doesn't work a lick at nothing all day!

Wow, the Queen is on a bitch streak!

Isn't life wonderful? Sprinkle me some damn happy then, fairy godmother!


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till next time~

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UPDATE: May 19, 2007 ...

Little Queenie had a long journey back to her mother and father's today. She was worn out. Everybody was. It was a long drive. She did call me from her mother's cell phone informing me that she wanted to come back to MY house! that her mother was already being mean to her! [[EMOTICON:GOODGRIEF1]]

but all you have to do is raise your voice even the slightest and she says you're being mean to her! [[EMOTICON:GOODGRIEF2]]

Kindergarten in the fall will be a nice change for her!
I am one of these people who need to put their thoughts to paper. I need to scribble it from heartfelt thought, choke on it if need be, and see the truth in it. Hopefully I will have enough strength to make the changes I need to ensure a more happy, productive life. I haven't written from my heart in a long time, primarily due to others' indiscretions at interpreting my written word to their advantage and somehow twisting it to suit their selfish needs.

I come at this juncture in my life to this forum to to express myself, and allow myself to look inside my life as it was, is, and hopefully come full circle to what it can be. If I didn't state this already I am presently in a relationship. I have times where I struggle with myself over this long-distance relationship with a married man, who supposedly is living independently and separate from his wife. Yet, he remains tied to her. I have grown to love him over the last few years, but I wonder deep down in my heart if he truly cares for me or just feels some sort of pity for me. He would probably hate that thought even came into my head. Truth is, perhaps I have fooled myself into believing that him and I do have this beautiful relationship, when all the time all he really wanted was a friend with fringe benefits. I envisioned more of a love story between a man who has everything he could possibly want in the physical realm, but the true love a woman, and I, his Cinderella hoping he rescues me from this Appalachian hell.

I have a male acquaintenance, one who helps keeps my yard done, I call him my gardener and with whom I entertain a platonic friendship. He and I will hangout, maybe go junking, have a burger, walk about the city park, but that's it for me. He has nothing to offer me, and believe you me, I am not interested in pursuing that. And lately still, a past interest had resurfaced causing stirred confusion only temporarily. I did agree to dinner. Under his charming demeanor lies a man who cannot be trusted, so I was not up for dessert in this particular case. He had his chance a few years back, my life has moved on, and dinner gave me a chance to tell him so after he so inadvertently left me in the dark so to speak. I am not looking to replace my current love interest.

My heart belongs to my baby, plain and simple. Yes, plain and simple I wished it were. I guess you could say I am an emotional dreamer, in search of true love. Isn't that the silliest notion, ever? I say, give me romance and all that encompasses, or give me nothing at all. Romance to me can be a fantasy on paper, or a whirlwind romance in his loving arms. I am a woman who has known men. My body has felt the passion and desire that a handsome face and gentle hands can cause. I've had many a night spent in fiery tango in the arms of my lover. I have been the sweaty partner to my experienced lover; I have held his face within my hands, his body between my thighs ~ but I command his passions with all of my soul and being.

I give it all, and I expect nothing less from a partner. I wonder ~ is the landscape of one's imagination populated with only those erotic ghosts so far beyond the realms of the day to day that we become submerged in our own romantic idiom? Or does the frisson come from the knowledge that the fantasy could actually be reality and is just tantalizingly beyond the outstretched finger tips? I know not where this fastasy will end, or where true love begins. I will embrace the journey and see where it takes me. Blogging it out will give me the expressive outlet I need currently.

Please be advised that from time to time erotica could appear on this blog. If you are uncomfortable with this, please feel free to pass up this blog in favor of another. I also ask that you refrain from any derogatory remarks or judgments on my character or integrity. Like I stated before, those of you you wish to lounge your thoughts here, feel free to do so.

till next time.

The May Chronicles

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Your Queen has had a most trying morning! thanks to Princess-NOT!Grizelda Mess and her two children, little Queenie (4 years old) and Prince Wyatt Earp (not quite 1 year old) who were overnight semi-uninvited guests at the palace! It seems they are all in the process of moving six hours downstream from Yours Truly, as Lord Spoiled FINALLY got a job!!

Today was supposed to be his first day, however, he did not even leave here until 10 p.m. last night with a loaded van (which broke down before he could even get out of town) and he had a 6-hour drive, and then had to be at work by 8 a.m.! Do you think he made it? Oh yeah, by the way, he had to drive 30 or 40 more minutes from his home once he got down there to get his FIX for the day at the local methadone clinic BEFORE reporting for his FIRST DAY on a new job!

Lord have mercy!!! Needless to say, I'm a little cranky due to the fact that I didn't get my beauty sleep! I got up at 6:30 this morning to work, and Prince Wyatt Earp was already awake, playing in the next bedroom on the bed with a semi-conscious mother. When I looked in on him, 20 or so minutes later, he was soaking wet and drippy, and getting ready to fall off the bed onto a hard, hardwood floor, and I told her she needed to get her ass up and get her day started. Grizelda Mess wanted ME to bring him downstairs, give him a few play toys, turn on the Disney Channel and she would be up shortly! Well, SHORTLY ended up being an hour later! little Queenie Bella awoke to the sound of her brother fussing, and me pounding the keys at my desk WORKING! I am ON THE CLOCK for goodness sakes! I told little Queenie to wake up her mother who needed to get up, fix HER children breakfast, and change a now poopie diaper that has stunk up the entire palace for 20 minutes! Disgusting to say the least! What on God's earth are they feeding this child???

After Grizelda does finally manage to drag herself up, she totally ignores the stinky situation in the living room and goes outside to smoke her 3 cigarettes or so, make a phone call or two, and not only brings back in a clothes basket but that DARN CAT of hers!!!! WHAT?? You want to leave the CAT and little Queenie here while you WHAT ??? Go to the clinic and get your FIX?? You mean you guys did not find a clinic down there? (Yes, they did she replied) After much bitching from the Queen, she finally managed to change Prince Earp's stinky diaper and instead of putting it in the garbage outside, she left it laying right on my coffee table!!! I found it after she was gone! Yes, folks, Grizelda has got to be the laziest human being on the planet. She leaves every light on without even thinking twice about it, never puts anything back where she gets it! and she is responsible for two children, a dog, and a cat all by herself?? One has to wonder how either Lord Spoiled or Grizelda Mess will fair this new adventure of theirs.

Well Grizelda Mess finally got back from the clinic around 10:30 a.m. and finally got on the road with the Cat, Queenie Bella in her underwear, little Prince Earp, a stuffed car, and she had to go get the DOG and take it too! This is a big dog, mind you, that will take up the whole backseat all by hisself!!! Can you imagine what a six-hour drive that is going to be ?? Sorry I'm gonna miss it!! (laffing) and how are things in your Kingdom this morning?

UPDATE:

It was too much longer after Grizelda Mess had left this morning towing her two children, one cat and a big dog, that Lord Spoiled called to see if she had left yet! DUH!! I was rather surprised! after all today was his first day at a brand new job! or was it?

Come to find out, he gave his boss this hard luck story about how the truck broke down and all his harships trying to move, wah-wah, so as of the time he was calling me (at 11:30 ish) he was in the car with his newly found friends and they were all going to the methadone clinic to their fixes for the day! WORK ??? Well, his boss being such the understanding man told him to come back tomorrow that it was only orientation and that tomorrow would only be half a day as well, and hopefully they would get settled in their new home.

Kingdom, I ask you ... is that not an impressive first day?

I would assume that since Lord Spoiled was off all day long, the truck would be unpacked and the house would be in proper order by the time that Grizelda arrived frazzled after driving six hours with two children, a big dog, and a cat! I will await more news.


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Free at last! fairy godmother, free at last!!






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Can't I Just Crawl in a Hole?

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I just realized after reading back, that I promised to tell you guys the REAL story behind why the gardner showed up unexpectedly at the door. It seems that he was fresh off the plane, back to Mayberry here, and was out exploring the secondhand stores ?? and came across a clean, well-built couch which he knows I have been looking for. I would much prefer a new one, but it's not in the Queen's budget right now ... and it's not that I don't have a couch, but ~ well, let's just say it was remnants from the first divorce almost 10 years ago, folks! How sad is that?

Anyway, the reason he says he stopped by is that he wants me to go look at it and hurry the place is going to close in a few minutes and it won't be there tomorrow, somebody will buy it he says. I'm thinkin NOW ?? You're talking to a woman who looks like death warmed up, probably smells like two-day old underwear, hair greasy, and he wants me to go to look at a couch? If you read that previous post, you know how horrified I was at my appearance to begin with, much less go out like that in public? Do I have time to shower and wash my hair? hell no. Okay, let's go I say, stinky and all. *insert sad face* After this sad event, I give up all hope of ever roping this guy into my lair anyway.

The couch was fine, was curved slightly, vintage 40s style, clean lines, and overall very clean and upholstered really nice. What I didn't realize (until after it was home and the other couch had been hauled off) was that it sat low to the floor with rollers, so I thought it must have had a rollaway bed at one time. Actually it sat too low. I wondered if perhaps this couch had been made for a midget family!!! But for 40 bucks what did you expect? the Mona Lisa of couches or what?? and who could move it? it weighed a frickin ton! He had to call a friend to help him move it. I could swear somebody re-upholstered that couch leaving the bed inside it! and if that isn't enough ... here's the real punchline ...

You know you're a redneck if your couch sits on concrete stilts!

Yep, I was promised that his friend who was a carpenter would come build me some higher legs for this couch, but that hasn't materialized !!!

*laffing outloud!*

I tell you Kingdom I am in desperate need of love, legs, and a handyman ... and of course a pottie chair to sit on while I work!

Isn't life wonderful? and how are things in your kindgom?


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Want an update on Griszelda Mess and Lord Spoiled? I'll try to get one posted. Stay tuned.


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Shit Hits The Palace~!

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What day is it??

Wednesday April 18th and shit, shit and more shit!

No kidding. It seems ladies (and gents) that for some time now my colon has not wanted to cooperate and holds onto whatever stool it can causing me constipation. I don't know about you people but constipation seems to be my middle name lately! or should I say, used to be ??

As of the last two days, and thanks to my now gastroenterologist, we are having a cathartic party with MiraLax, Dulcolax, and a new pill called Amitiza in overdosages. Of course this is intentional to clean out the colon, but more importantly to get it in better proper working order, so they can stick a tube up my ass in five weeks and look inside my colon for cancer.

After 7 days of diarrheal bliss, hopefully my bowels will start functioning for me. Doesn't that sound like a shitload of fun? Yes, I'm in cathartic heaven right now. Luckily I haven't shit my pants yet, however yesterday I had an eye appt because of a conjunctivitis which was really bothering me and I knew I couldn't cancel that appt ... the whole time I'm sitting there I was praying there was not going to be an "accident" and nobody would be in the bathroom as I scurried to it. Yes, Kingdom, your Queenship has great anal control!

If you think only your body needs toning and has issues, well it seems your colon can get flabby too. I have complained to my family doctor for years now, but he just says, ah, take a laxative, which works temporarily, but isn't really addressing the real issue and health of the actual colon itself! I got quite an informative lesson from the gastroenterologist. One I'll share someday.

oops, gotta run!

p.s. that was a close one! more on this shit later, back to work!

UPDATE: As of lunch time today (noon) I am drinking my second Miralax cocktail of the day and taken my first Amitiza. Also, I had chili for lunch, not that it matters much! In the last two days, I have never heard such atrocious bowel sounds in my life! and talk about an erupting volcano! Also, I picked up the antibiotic drops for my eyes today (a replacement as the original prescription yesterday was something that cost $50 for an itty bitty bottle and he wrote for 2 bottles for both my eyes). Anyway, the new ones cost me 20 bucks. These drug companies and insurance coverage is such a racket, but I am not getting my bowels in an uproar over that! they are fighting their own war at present!


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Fairy Godmother, can I trade this toilet paper for Puffs?

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