Dear Blogdom ~ 
Are you depressed?
Are you feeling frumpy, dumpy, and otherwise grumpy? bloated, constipated, and hated? Just had your fill of it ???
Me tooooooo!!!!! and my frickin’ hair is shedding? Shit … not again !!!! I just saw a picture of me in my mind … I’ll be this fat and dumpy, wrinkly, short and ugly little Appalachia bald woman … I used to be a heart stopper, and now I’m just a Betty Crocker … Geeze, how depressing …
All I really need is a permanent vacation with a big-fat paycheck … and an all over body-makeover complete with surgical enhancement !!! God send me a plastic surgeon to date!! or let me learn of some smut on one here so I can blackmail him into getting what I want. Well, that might not be such a great idea. I could come out looking like Barbara Streisand! Yikes …
Oh, just screw it. I guess I’m stuck in always and forever appalachia land! Who wants a hillbilly Queen, right? and a bitchy one to boot! I bet I couldn’t hire somebody to … (well never mind that thought!!) … nor could I hold ’em down long enough to … (well never mind that thought either !!!) … Don’t laugh … that ain’t funny !!
Isn’t it strange when you’re young you marry for love … and you wake up 10 years later and have children bitchin’ at ya for a pair of 100 dollar shoes and designer jeans to keep up with the “Jones’.” How stupid was that ? marrying for love !!! I did that TWICE and it didn’t get me SHIT !!! I still don’t have a retirement. I’ll be working till I’m 90.
I would love to have a parent to take care of me again !! I tell my 15-year-old to milk it as long as possible … that it’s a cold, cruel world out there … and that she should not to be in such a hurry to grow up! Her only gripe is that her Dad & Sandy (the stepmother) are fashion stupid and subjecting her to shopping at Wal-Mart to her back-to-school. Can you imagine such an atrosity ? Well, they do relent to take her to Value City every once in a while … No great news there. He was always a cheap ass. I pay him good child support money, too !! I take her to all the “Grannie and hip” places … after all, I AM the coolest mom!! Anyway, that’s what she says. You remember what it was like starting the new year at high school as a sophomore? … ah, the pressure of it all … clothes should be the last worry !! after all, GIRLS need STUFF!!!
I thought I had two of mine raised, but every once in awhile they come back to bite me on the ass !!! I keep thinking I’ll get even and just move away but so far I’m still here. I do have an idea, though, to get out of this one horse town. I think it’s rather inventive, actually.
I remember every once in a while seeing a man sitting on the concrete embunkment at the bridge with a cardboard sign saying ”Homeless” …. “Will Work For Food.” This is a bridge heavily trafficked with people from KY, Ohio, and West Virginia … Sometimes they even walked up towards peoples cars holding out a can or whatever as cars would have a red light often times before turning. It could be a little scary. My son begged me to stop one day, pleading with me that we should help. While I’m all about helping people, I am also cautious and refused to do so. I did offer to take my son to the local church here who fixes meals for homeless or otherwise very low income people so he could help the poor and otherwise down on their luck people by volunteering. Do you think he did that? heck no, but it never came back up in our discussion. I know myself, that at present, I’m just one paycheck from the street myself … so I’m hoping Mr. MoneyBags Man will help my otherwise dwindling bank account … however … Today, I have come to the realization that “Mr. Right and/or Mr. MoneyBags” may never drive by and see my red light on the front porch !!!
So, I’ve decided to make me a sign, and walk to the corner of the bridge and plant myself up a perch, all duded up and looking like the sexpot I am !!! and on my sign is posted, “Will Marry For Money.” and in finer print … “Honk if you’d like a blow job.”
I know its sick … shame on me … Oh, kiss my ass !!!
Are you depressed?
Are you feeling frumpy, dumpy, and otherwise grumpy? bloated, constipated, and hated? Just had your fill of it ???
Me tooooooo!!!!! and my frickin’ hair is shedding? Shit … not again !!!! I just saw a picture of me in my mind … I’ll be this fat and dumpy, wrinkly, short and ugly little Appalachia bald woman … I used to be a heart stopper, and now I’m just a Betty Crocker … Geeze, how depressing …
All I really need is a permanent vacation with a big-fat paycheck … and an all over body-makeover complete with surgical enhancement !!! God send me a plastic surgeon to date!! or let me learn of some smut on one here so I can blackmail him into getting what I want. Well, that might not be such a great idea. I could come out looking like Barbara Streisand! Yikes …
Oh, just screw it. I guess I’m stuck in always and forever appalachia land! Who wants a hillbilly Queen, right? and a bitchy one to boot! I bet I couldn’t hire somebody to … (well never mind that thought!!) … nor could I hold ’em down long enough to … (well never mind that thought either !!!) … Don’t laugh … that ain’t funny !!
Isn’t it strange when you’re young you marry for love … and you wake up 10 years later and have children bitchin’ at ya for a pair of 100 dollar shoes and designer jeans to keep up with the “Jones’.” How stupid was that ? marrying for love !!! I did that TWICE and it didn’t get me SHIT !!! I still don’t have a retirement. I’ll be working till I’m 90.
I would love to have a parent to take care of me again !! I tell my 15-year-old to milk it as long as possible … that it’s a cold, cruel world out there … and that she should not to be in such a hurry to grow up! Her only gripe is that her Dad & Sandy (the stepmother) are fashion stupid and subjecting her to shopping at Wal-Mart to her back-to-school. Can you imagine such an atrosity ? Well, they do relent to take her to Value City every once in a while … No great news there. He was always a cheap ass. I pay him good child support money, too !! I take her to all the “Grannie and hip” places … after all, I AM the coolest mom!! Anyway, that’s what she says. You remember what it was like starting the new year at high school as a sophomore? … ah, the pressure of it all … clothes should be the last worry !! after all, GIRLS need STUFF!!!
I thought I had two of mine raised, but every once in awhile they come back to bite me on the ass !!! I keep thinking I’ll get even and just move away but so far I’m still here. I do have an idea, though, to get out of this one horse town. I think it’s rather inventive, actually.
I remember every once in a while seeing a man sitting on the concrete embunkment at the bridge with a cardboard sign saying ”Homeless” …. “Will Work For Food.” This is a bridge heavily trafficked with people from KY, Ohio, and West Virginia … Sometimes they even walked up towards peoples cars holding out a can or whatever as cars would have a red light often times before turning. It could be a little scary. My son begged me to stop one day, pleading with me that we should help. While I’m all about helping people, I am also cautious and refused to do so. I did offer to take my son to the local church here who fixes meals for homeless or otherwise very low income people so he could help the poor and otherwise down on their luck people by volunteering. Do you think he did that? heck no, but it never came back up in our discussion. I know myself, that at present, I’m just one paycheck from the street myself … so I’m hoping Mr. MoneyBags Man will help my otherwise dwindling bank account … however … Today, I have come to the realization that “Mr. Right and/or Mr. MoneyBags” may never drive by and see my red light on the front porch !!!
So, I’ve decided to make me a sign, and walk to the corner of the bridge and plant myself up a perch, all duded up and looking like the sexpot I am !!! and on my sign is posted, “Will Marry For Money.” and in finer print … “Honk if you’d like a blow job.”
I know its sick … shame on me … Oh, kiss my ass !!!
I ask you Kingdom is this proper behavior from Yours Truly, The Queen?
and a tiny voice says, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, aren't YOU the bichiest Queen of all!"
Oh, kiss my ass again~!!
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I have been temporarily distracted by a shiny object. Go ahead you know what to do!