An older gentleman had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.
He approached the receptionist's desk. The receptionist was a large, imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name and in a very loud voice the receptionist said: "Yes, I see your name here... you want to see the doctor about impotence, right?"
The heads of all the patients in the waiting room snapped around, to look at the very embarrassed man.
He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice replied: "No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation... and I'd like the same doctor that did yours!"
hahahaha!
how about another joke?
A teacher is talking about marriage.
"What kind of wife would you like, Tommy?" she asks.
"One like the moon," says Tommy.
"Do you want her to be calm and beautiful?" asks the teacher.
"No, I want her to come at night and disappear in the morning."
Well, the weekend surely goes too quickly. Its back to the grind. We have had a lot of changes lately, people leaving in high positions, makes one a little nervous. Anyway, it will be a day of moving work around, and reviewing files, etc...
Have a good Monday everybody!
He's a Creeper...
Are any of you guys watching this "Sweet Genius" show on Food Network. I love a few shows on this channel, like Iron Chef and Chopped, but this show...
Sweet Genius is a sugar-packed competition series that challenges America's premier pastry chefs to create magical and inventive desserts given inspiration, surprise ingredients and a finite amount of time. The chefs must compete in three unique pastry challenges judged by Ron Ben-Israel — the Sweet Genius creeper himself — who will critique their work and determine who will receive the $10,000 cash prize.
He makes his grand entrance through some opening doors, swish! They have this female robotic voice who will tell each of the contestants about the ingredient and/or the inspiration object, as these things make their way down this conveyer belt after he hits some button; and just when they think they got their dessert worked out he throws a 'secret' ingredient down the runway...Yep...its just downright creepy...and the host...the ultimate creeper in my opinion.
Yep, this is the one your mother warned you about ... the sugar creeper! sweet genius...my ass! he's a sugar sadist!
Sweet Genius is a sugar-packed competition series that challenges America's premier pastry chefs to create magical and inventive desserts given inspiration, surprise ingredients and a finite amount of time. The chefs must compete in three unique pastry challenges judged by Ron Ben-Israel — the Sweet Genius creeper himself — who will critique their work and determine who will receive the $10,000 cash prize.
He makes his grand entrance through some opening doors, swish! They have this female robotic voice who will tell each of the contestants about the ingredient and/or the inspiration object, as these things make their way down this conveyer belt after he hits some button; and just when they think they got their dessert worked out he throws a 'secret' ingredient down the runway...Yep...its just downright creepy...and the host...the ultimate creeper in my opinion.
Yep, this is the one your mother warned you about ... the sugar creeper! sweet genius...my ass! he's a sugar sadist!
TGIF
I have definitely had moments of stress this week. Luckily nobody got hurt; however I am not vocally challenged when it comes to email...I will let 'er rip! Yep, they ain't paying me enough for this stress! Its a constant battle with these ICs (independent contractors, not worth the powder and lead to blow them up most days) and employee FQAs reminding them of what they should already know and be doing on these accounts. Do they read or follow instructions available to them? hell no...They would rather interrupt me on IM (instant mesenger) while I have enough on my plate with reviewing files and managing the workload flow. Tonight it dragged on way too long, and at 9:30 p.m. I finally got done with what I had to do. Fruck that shit! You know how this scenario goes. Pete and RePete were sitting on a fence, Pete fell off, who was left? why Repeat (aka Re-Pete) of course! Whose got booze? Somebody take me away from this madness!
Oh, did I mention? Isabella is at a pajama party tonight at her friend's house....which means, while the little one is away, mamaw can play! hahaha!
Happy Friday everybody!
My Excuse...
I love being off on Mondays...I am actually off tomorrow too I think...LOL...
Actually I have vacation time coming, and I am damn sure taking it...
not like last year, I lost it...
and how was your Monday?
trick or treat was fun, running around with the kids...
"Little Bo Creep" did not wear her costume, as her mommy bought her an unoriginal spider vampiress type of costume so she wore that.
Wyatt was Woody...typical boy.
They had way too much fun! but I got candy to last me all week...LOL
melovecandy!
"Little Bo Creep" did not wear her costume, as her mommy bought her an unoriginal spider vampiress type of costume so she wore that.
Wyatt was Woody...typical boy.
They had way too much fun! but I got candy to last me all week...LOL
melovecandy!
if walls could talk...
....
surrounded by the Allegheny hills, and the trees shrouded in a palpable dread,
it broods....
it broods....
alone, forgotten, hopeless...
picture source
Jack Scranton couldn't understand why any woman would have so many photographs of herself scattered throughout her home, but he didn't really have time to worry about whatever form of narcissism the dead woman had been into.
He hadn't meant to kill her, but he hadn't expected her to be home. He'd been so careful about timing her movements and he knew she never returned home before nine on Thursdays. That's why he'd been so startled, when he opened her bedroom door and saw her standing there in her robe and slippers. She'd screamed, so he'd backhanded her and sent her flying backward against the sharp corner of a dresser. Her head had hit it with a sickening thud and then bent at an unnatural angle as she'd slid to the floor.
He'd never killed anyone before, never even come close, and his hands shook unceasingly as he rooted through her dresser drawers. He kept glancing furtively over at the body, not knowing what to expect, and hurried through the bedroom as quickly as possible. He opened the bottom drawer on each dresser, then worked his way up. Only amateurs started at the top, having to close each drawer before opening the next. He found a jewelry box and dumped its contents into the leather satchel he carried with him. Before leaving the bedroom, he glanced at the body, wondering if he should pull the diamond from her finger. But the thought of touching the body made his stomach churn like a washing machine and he gave up the idea.
He knew he should abandon this job, but it had been months since his last successful score and his cash reserve had almost disappeared. He'd spent weeks casing this woman's house after Al Witherspoon-- an insurance agent who took ten percent of every successful score he turned Jack onto-- had given him the details.
"Her name's Annie Rivers. She's a vice-president for Cooper Industries, lives alone, and must keep a good hundred to two hundred thousand in cash and jewels in the house at any one time," Al had told him when they'd met under the neon beer sign in the back booth at the Malibu Bar and Grill.
Al described the security system-- a good one, but one that Jack had cracked many times in the past.
"She's got some relative, Fannie Albright, lives in Arizona, named in her life insurance policy," Al explained. "When I talked to her about her homeowner's policy, she told me there's no other relatives, no husbands, ex-husbands, or boyfriends."
"What about her schedule?" Jack asked.
"That's up to you to figure out. I've done everything I can." Al gathered up his papers and stuffed them into his briefcase. He'd shown Jack her entire file, including a rough layout of the house and Polaroids of the security system and many of the rooms. Everything he'd shown Jack went back into his briefcase so he could return it to the office. The two wouldn't talk again until Jack delivered Al's ten percent.
Jack had spent the three weeks following his meeting with Al watching Annie Rivers' home, tracking her arrival and departure times until he felt certain of a time when she would be away from the house long enough for him to ransack it. Most evenings she returned home between six and seven, but each Thursday she played racquetball with one of the company's other vice presidents. On those nights she never returned home before nine.
The time between eight and nine seemed best. By then the sun would have gone down and her nearest neighbors would be unable to see him prowling around outside. He could be inside her house within ten minutes, could ransack the place within fifty minutes, and be back in his car and pulling away moments before she arrived home from her game.
Jack shook his head, trying to forget all the events that had led to his current, untenable situation. He needed to finish and get out. He needed to get away from the house as quickly as possible, but he couldn't leave until he'd gotten all the cash and everything he could pawn. He would need to leave town as soon as possible. He tried to keep his attention on the task at hand, tried to concentrate on his desire for cash and not on the body in the other bedroom.
Still, the photos spooked him. It was like the dead woman watched his every move.
He finished the room and moved on to the next, then the next. At a quarter of nine he finished with the upstairs and at two minutes past nine he finished with the downstairs. He'd made quite a haul and felt sure he would have enough to leave town, perhaps even to disappear for a long, long time.
As he crossed the foyer from the den to the living room, Jack heard a key in the front door and stopped. Annie Rivers lived alone and never had unexpected visitors. He'd made sure of it.
When the dead woman opened the door, stepped into the foyer, and snapped on the light, Jack was so startled he stood dumbly, caught like a deer in a car's headlights. Annie saw him and instinctively swung her racquetball racquet, connecting with his face and sending him flying backward. He hit his head on the banister of the staircase and tumbled to the ground in a heap, obviously knocked cold. The leather satchel in his hands dropped to the floor and popped open, spilling her collection of jewelry and two tightly banded stacks of twenty dollar bills to the floor.
Annie phoned 911. Within minutes, her home swarmed with police. After Jack had been roused, handcuffed, and escorted away, white-faced and shaking, in the rear seat of a squad car, Annie stood with a police lieutenant trying to maintain her composure. Two men in white uniforms wheeled a gurney containing her sister's body past them. "My sister had just arrived this morning," Annie explained as she dabbed at her tears with corner of her sweatshirt sleeve. "All the way from Phoenix. I had already taken tomorrow off so we could go shopping."
Annie bit her lip and stared at the photo of her twin on the fireplace mantel.
story courtesy of mystery net
Jack Scranton couldn't understand why any woman would have so many photographs of herself scattered throughout her home, but he didn't really have time to worry about whatever form of narcissism the dead woman had been into.
He hadn't meant to kill her, but he hadn't expected her to be home. He'd been so careful about timing her movements and he knew she never returned home before nine on Thursdays. That's why he'd been so startled, when he opened her bedroom door and saw her standing there in her robe and slippers. She'd screamed, so he'd backhanded her and sent her flying backward against the sharp corner of a dresser. Her head had hit it with a sickening thud and then bent at an unnatural angle as she'd slid to the floor.
He'd never killed anyone before, never even come close, and his hands shook unceasingly as he rooted through her dresser drawers. He kept glancing furtively over at the body, not knowing what to expect, and hurried through the bedroom as quickly as possible. He opened the bottom drawer on each dresser, then worked his way up. Only amateurs started at the top, having to close each drawer before opening the next. He found a jewelry box and dumped its contents into the leather satchel he carried with him. Before leaving the bedroom, he glanced at the body, wondering if he should pull the diamond from her finger. But the thought of touching the body made his stomach churn like a washing machine and he gave up the idea.
He knew he should abandon this job, but it had been months since his last successful score and his cash reserve had almost disappeared. He'd spent weeks casing this woman's house after Al Witherspoon-- an insurance agent who took ten percent of every successful score he turned Jack onto-- had given him the details.
"Her name's Annie Rivers. She's a vice-president for Cooper Industries, lives alone, and must keep a good hundred to two hundred thousand in cash and jewels in the house at any one time," Al had told him when they'd met under the neon beer sign in the back booth at the Malibu Bar and Grill.
Al described the security system-- a good one, but one that Jack had cracked many times in the past.
"She's got some relative, Fannie Albright, lives in Arizona, named in her life insurance policy," Al explained. "When I talked to her about her homeowner's policy, she told me there's no other relatives, no husbands, ex-husbands, or boyfriends."
"What about her schedule?" Jack asked.
"That's up to you to figure out. I've done everything I can." Al gathered up his papers and stuffed them into his briefcase. He'd shown Jack her entire file, including a rough layout of the house and Polaroids of the security system and many of the rooms. Everything he'd shown Jack went back into his briefcase so he could return it to the office. The two wouldn't talk again until Jack delivered Al's ten percent.
Jack had spent the three weeks following his meeting with Al watching Annie Rivers' home, tracking her arrival and departure times until he felt certain of a time when she would be away from the house long enough for him to ransack it. Most evenings she returned home between six and seven, but each Thursday she played racquetball with one of the company's other vice presidents. On those nights she never returned home before nine.
The time between eight and nine seemed best. By then the sun would have gone down and her nearest neighbors would be unable to see him prowling around outside. He could be inside her house within ten minutes, could ransack the place within fifty minutes, and be back in his car and pulling away moments before she arrived home from her game.
Jack shook his head, trying to forget all the events that had led to his current, untenable situation. He needed to finish and get out. He needed to get away from the house as quickly as possible, but he couldn't leave until he'd gotten all the cash and everything he could pawn. He would need to leave town as soon as possible. He tried to keep his attention on the task at hand, tried to concentrate on his desire for cash and not on the body in the other bedroom.
Still, the photos spooked him. It was like the dead woman watched his every move.
He finished the room and moved on to the next, then the next. At a quarter of nine he finished with the upstairs and at two minutes past nine he finished with the downstairs. He'd made quite a haul and felt sure he would have enough to leave town, perhaps even to disappear for a long, long time.
As he crossed the foyer from the den to the living room, Jack heard a key in the front door and stopped. Annie Rivers lived alone and never had unexpected visitors. He'd made sure of it.
When the dead woman opened the door, stepped into the foyer, and snapped on the light, Jack was so startled he stood dumbly, caught like a deer in a car's headlights. Annie saw him and instinctively swung her racquetball racquet, connecting with his face and sending him flying backward. He hit his head on the banister of the staircase and tumbled to the ground in a heap, obviously knocked cold. The leather satchel in his hands dropped to the floor and popped open, spilling her collection of jewelry and two tightly banded stacks of twenty dollar bills to the floor.
Annie phoned 911. Within minutes, her home swarmed with police. After Jack had been roused, handcuffed, and escorted away, white-faced and shaking, in the rear seat of a squad car, Annie stood with a police lieutenant trying to maintain her composure. Two men in white uniforms wheeled a gurney containing her sister's body past them. "My sister had just arrived this morning," Annie explained as she dabbed at her tears with corner of her sweatshirt sleeve. "All the way from Phoenix. I had already taken tomorrow off so we could go shopping."
Annie bit her lip and stared at the photo of her twin on the fireplace mantel.
story courtesy of mystery net
Displaced~
I never thought in my wildest dreams that the only home my 19 year old has known from day one would be sold, but it was, and she is just now displaced. She had to move into a tiny little rental house not far from me in the city here with her controlling father. Her father has always been the most selfish human on the planet. Without monies borrowed on the house like normal people would have done to build, his parents financed his home to be built way back when (1989), and since our subsequent divorce, and death of his mother and father, so did any debt he might have owed them in return. He was never one to give back, not even to say I'm sorry should he be wrong about anything. He was made executor of his parents estate, and left his brother absoultely nothing (it was said he had to give him $1). His brother was the oldest, but he was the most controlling.
Frankly, if those walls could talk, they would certainly have a story to tell. A lot of sweat and tears, abuse and heartache filled that house way back when; he also had another ex, and more heartache and tales of woes, not to mention the abuse my daughter suffered as a child with this man. In order to write about it, I have to acknowledge my inability to stop him, unable financially to remove her from his clutches, or bring the courts to know who he was, what he was...it makes me sick to this day. The courts, what do they truly care about when it comes to child? He certainly was never any good parent to my other two children, but its okay he gets to keep my baby child who at not quite 6 years old never spent a night away from her mother...why? Money talks in small towns...shameful. I will never forget that day or the feeling of loss, years of loss...it still makes me tear up. I hope his death is very slow and very very painful, and I hope he rots in hell...
I'm told he is a regular church-goer now, excuse me I have to vomit at that.
Not only did he sell every antique his mother ever owned, he sold their home for profit (perhaps forced to split this with his brother?), and now he is selling the only thing that is rightfully my daughter's. I am not surprised at his lack of thinking of anyone else. Bobbi has nothing of value that even belonged to her grandmother, whom she loved dearly. She was the only grandchild, and was much loved. When arrested back when my daughter was 16, her uncle (his brother) tried to make sure that any estate inheritance be rightfully put away for her; however I don't know how far that got, or what she was due from her grandparents estate. It was hidden and/or changed. My daughter herself knows nothing of what she was supposedly to gain from her grandparents estate. Most of it I'm sure went to my ex's legal defense, thereby taking my daughter's inheritance away from what would have been rightfully hers to begin with to pursue a college degree, provide support in her young adult life, etc...
Her uncle died in that house while my ex (divorce filed by me in 1997) was in jail facing serious charges of sexual abuse of a minor child. It was days upon days before the authorities found him. I heard from a friend of his that he believed himself that his own brother was guilty, and why? So many unanswered questions all these years. The best thing that could have happened was for him to be convicted, so my daughter could really move on with life. Ask me if I think he's innocent of this? I'd have to say no. Since he was found not guilty on all charges he has not been able to really obtain a job, and supposedly his health has deteriorated, and according to my daughter he is trying to get his disability. Why? Because he has smoked cigarettes at an alarming rate since young adulthood, and now he expects compensation? He was carried financially his whole life by his parents, whether they were living or dead.
I abhor this man so much for all he has put my family, and especially what he has put our daughter through, and still continues his reign of her. She will never be free of his control until he dies. My hope for her is that its soon. Certainly, I do not have any qualms about stating this. Tell me I'm wrong, tell me that something bad is probably going to happen to me because of it, and it still won't change how I feel. The day he dies is a day of celebration, and months or perhaps years following his death, my daughter's emotional demise of the abuse he has put her through will flood her memories she has locked away so long. She is still very much a child in a grown up world, struggling to find a place or direction. Her father's control is more than she can bear at times, but yet she chooses not to leave it behind at 19. Its a sick relationship those two have. Let's hope I'm still around to help her pick up the pieces.
Sorry for the ramble, just on my mind.
Frankly, if those walls could talk, they would certainly have a story to tell. A lot of sweat and tears, abuse and heartache filled that house way back when; he also had another ex, and more heartache and tales of woes, not to mention the abuse my daughter suffered as a child with this man. In order to write about it, I have to acknowledge my inability to stop him, unable financially to remove her from his clutches, or bring the courts to know who he was, what he was...it makes me sick to this day. The courts, what do they truly care about when it comes to child? He certainly was never any good parent to my other two children, but its okay he gets to keep my baby child who at not quite 6 years old never spent a night away from her mother...why? Money talks in small towns...shameful. I will never forget that day or the feeling of loss, years of loss...it still makes me tear up. I hope his death is very slow and very very painful, and I hope he rots in hell...
I'm told he is a regular church-goer now, excuse me I have to vomit at that.
Not only did he sell every antique his mother ever owned, he sold their home for profit (perhaps forced to split this with his brother?), and now he is selling the only thing that is rightfully my daughter's. I am not surprised at his lack of thinking of anyone else. Bobbi has nothing of value that even belonged to her grandmother, whom she loved dearly. She was the only grandchild, and was much loved. When arrested back when my daughter was 16, her uncle (his brother) tried to make sure that any estate inheritance be rightfully put away for her; however I don't know how far that got, or what she was due from her grandparents estate. It was hidden and/or changed. My daughter herself knows nothing of what she was supposedly to gain from her grandparents estate. Most of it I'm sure went to my ex's legal defense, thereby taking my daughter's inheritance away from what would have been rightfully hers to begin with to pursue a college degree, provide support in her young adult life, etc...
Her uncle died in that house while my ex (divorce filed by me in 1997) was in jail facing serious charges of sexual abuse of a minor child. It was days upon days before the authorities found him. I heard from a friend of his that he believed himself that his own brother was guilty, and why? So many unanswered questions all these years. The best thing that could have happened was for him to be convicted, so my daughter could really move on with life. Ask me if I think he's innocent of this? I'd have to say no. Since he was found not guilty on all charges he has not been able to really obtain a job, and supposedly his health has deteriorated, and according to my daughter he is trying to get his disability. Why? Because he has smoked cigarettes at an alarming rate since young adulthood, and now he expects compensation? He was carried financially his whole life by his parents, whether they were living or dead.
I abhor this man so much for all he has put my family, and especially what he has put our daughter through, and still continues his reign of her. She will never be free of his control until he dies. My hope for her is that its soon. Certainly, I do not have any qualms about stating this. Tell me I'm wrong, tell me that something bad is probably going to happen to me because of it, and it still won't change how I feel. The day he dies is a day of celebration, and months or perhaps years following his death, my daughter's emotional demise of the abuse he has put her through will flood her memories she has locked away so long. She is still very much a child in a grown up world, struggling to find a place or direction. Her father's control is more than she can bear at times, but yet she chooses not to leave it behind at 19. Its a sick relationship those two have. Let's hope I'm still around to help her pick up the pieces.
Sorry for the ramble, just on my mind.
Meet Marvin...
Happy Friday everybody! It has been a long week. I came across these while out surfing...Marvin...the male version of Maxine...these are kinda funny...if you want to view more click here.

leaves, leaves, glorious leaves...
Remember when...fall leaves were fun time...
it seems the fun has been taken out of it with age...
yep, got a whole front yard full...
it seems the fun has been taken out of it with age...
yep, got a whole front yard full...
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