haha Mondays on a Sunday!

Sign of the Times 

 

In the men's room at work, the boss places a sign directly above the sink. It has a single word on it: "Think!"

The next day, he returns and finds a sign right below it, next to the soap dispenser. On it someone has carefully written another sign that reads: "Thoap!"
 

Passionate Lovemaking...

An Italian, a Frenchman and an Englishman are discussing their previous night's lovemaking.

The Italian says: "I rubbed fine olive oil all over my wife, then we made wonderful love. She screamed for five minutes."

The Frenchman says: "I rubbed sweet butter on my wife's body, then we made passionate love. She screamed for half an hour."

The Englishman says: "I covered my wife's body with lard. We made love and she screamed for six hours."

The others say: "Six hours? How did you make her scream for six hours?"

"Simple, the Englishman replies: "I wiped my hands on the drapes."

hahaha!

The HMO Manager 

Two doctors and an HMO manager are killed in a train wreck and line up at the pearly gates for admission to heaven. Saint Peter asks them to identify themselves.

One doctor steps forward and says: "I was a pediatric spinal surgeon. I helped hundreds of kids overcome their deformities."

Saint Peter says: "Enter."

The other doctor says: "I was a psychiatrist. I helped rehabilitate thousands of people."

Saint Peter nods and invites him into heaven, too.

The third applicant steps forward and says: "I was an HMO manager. I helped countless people get cost-effective health care."

Saint Peter tells him: "You can come in, too."

As the HMO manager walks by, Saint Peter adds: "But you can only stay for three days. After that, you can go to hell."

hahaha!


Q. What's the difference between a new wife and a new dog?

A. After a year, the dog is still happy to see you.

Have a great Monday everybody!