Quietude

The light came through the window
Straight from the sun above
and so inside my little room
There plunged the rays of Love

In streams of light I clearly saw
The dust you seldom see
Out of which the nameless makes
A name for one like me

- Leonard Cohen (song entitled Love Itself)


Mother's Day came and went without a fuss. My son called me the day after Mother's Day, bless his heard apologizing all over himself about it. I have been worried about the kid. He's only 30ish and is on chemotherapy for esophageal cancer which come to find out on the phone is a precancerous lesion. He has had reflux for years and it was getting so bad he said. I begged him many times to get to the doctor, let's hope he did in time. He will be on chemo for another 4 months or so. Doctor says he believes he will be cured of it, so that's one bright spot.

Another one is that my oldest daughter and I had a heart to heart talk about her issues and emotional problems, and she has agreed to seek help with a local mental health facility, and get on the proper medications under the supervision of a psychiatrist. I only hope she takes her husband with her as obviously they need marriage work as well. I am hopeful for the kids sakes.

By Saturday evening, I will finally have deck steps (which I have never had in the 5 years I've lived here) and my deck painted as part of a volunteer community project to help its residents who qualify! YAY me!

I miss David, too bad he's states away. I haven't been feeling much personal love here lately with all the stress going on. Perhaps I should call the gardener up for a date. Life is just no good alone. A girl needs stimulation!

Horny Wisdoms ... by Madame Morgan

1. Sex should be so good that even your neighbors need a cigarette.
2. Three words no one wants to hear while making love, "Honey, I'm home."
3. The way to tell if a man is sexually excited is to look for signs of breathing.
4. The best shoes are always the most uncomfortable.
5. Don't hate yourself in the morning. Sleep til noon.
6. Figures don't lie, but spandex redistributes the truth.
7. Gossip- when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
8. Exercise in the morning before your brain figures out what you're doing.
9. Always prefer shoes that cost as much as a car payment.
10. College- destroys your credit, reputation and liver.
11. If it weren't for law enforcement and physics, I'd be unstoppable. 
12. If you can't convince them, confuse them.
13. Become a good lover- practice on your own.
14. Find inner peace through impulse buying.
15. I always found it interesting that just enough news happens everyday to fit into the paper.
16. It isn't premarital sex if you aren't planning on getting married.
17. I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
18.  Marriage is for a little while. Alimony is forever. 

Have a good week, everybody! 

A Monday Review ...

Well, if only my job were that easy as to just be the office sleaze! As it was, I didn't feel that useful today, only used?! LOL

Today, I am informed by phone call (obviously I hadn't received my email early enough) that I was to do Thomas Reports today, not any reports, but rather those involved hospital discharge summaries, whose dictators love to say such things as ...

He was placed on Diflucan b.i.d. dosing and (he spells this out) p-o-p-p-i? pray tell what is that? All day long I got abbreviations like non stemi? with dictators talking way too fast, some so foreign I had 50 holes in one foreigner's report...I just went huh? was that a sentence? The supervisor just laughed about that one, and said nobody knows what he says and if I got another one of his just pass it by. Ah, and by the way, poppi is short for po (which means oral and ppi which is proton pump inhibitors... and non stemi is short for non ST elevated myocardial infarction! How do I know that? cause I'm smart! LOL otherwise they wouldn't be trusting me to do such work. However, it took me a little bit to get back in the swing of this type of work after typing what I was used to.

Yep, a day from dictation hell was inevitable today! and tomorrow doesn't look to be much better either. I am on Thomas until further notice which sucks donkey dicks!

Did I tell you that also, I haven't done these type of reports in a year or more? Before I could even get started on my daily terror, I had forgotten my password and login name even! Not to mention there are certain functions such as Ctrl N, Ctrl J, Ctrl R, Ctrl A, and Cntrl E that you have to use to get this stuff done. I actually had forgotten nearly all of it to tell ya the truth. So I guess you could say my day went rather swimmingly?! Yes, I drowned today, and it looks as though I might again tomorrow as well.

Gone are the days of WV psyche and medical disability reports.

Do I have any good news to report? Why, yes I do as a matter of fact!

Today my doorbell rang with two guys standing there at my service! They came to pressure wash my house free of charge, and just a little while ago another two guys came to look at my deck; they are going to pressure wash and paint it for me, and are going to build me some steps even! I'm excited! I applied for assistance through a program by our local city called Repair Fair which is done by volunteers, and I can actually get the work and labor done for free and that includes materials! Yay! I'm excited! Yes, that was the bright spot of my day after struggling through horrible dictations!

Did I overlook the wonderful Mother's Day holiday? Well, that's another story or should I say bitch!

Alexandria Leaving...

Suddenly the night has grown colder.
The god of love preparing to depart.
Alexandra hoisted on his shoulder,
They slip between the sentries of the heart.

Upheld by the simplicities of pleasure,
They gain the light, they formlessly entwine;
And radiant beyond your widest measure
They fall among the voices and the wine.

It's not a trick, your senses all deceiving,
A fitful dream, the morning will exhaust -
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving.
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost.

Even though she sleeps upon your satin;
Even though she wakes you with a kiss.
Do not say the moment was imagined;
Do not stoop to strategies like this.

As someone long prepared for this to happen,
Go firmly to the window. Drink it in.
Exquisite music. Alexandra laughing.
Your firm commitments tangible again.

And you who had the honor of her evening,
And by the honor had your own restored -
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving;
Alexandra leaving with her lord.

Even though she sleeps upon your satin;
Even though she wakes you with a kiss.
Do not say the moment was imagined;
Do not stoop to strategies like this.

As someone long prepared for the occasion;
In full command of every plan you wrecked -
Do not choose a coward's explanation
that hides behind the cause and the effect.

And you who were bewildered by a meaning;
Whose code was broken, crucifix uncrossed -
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving.
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost.

Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving.
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost.

~ Leonard Cohen

I love this song. To hear this Cohen song, click here.

This song is based on Constantine Cavafy's Poem 'The God Abandons Antony' (http://users.hol.gr/~barbanis/cavafy/antony.html). The same Antony from 'Julius Caesar' and 'Antony and Cleopatra'. The original poem itself is based on Plutarch's story that Antony heard a ghostly, musical procession the night before he lost the siege of Alexandria to Octavian. The procession - among other things, signified the desertion of his God protector, Bacchus. The departing procession could thus signify the loss of love, glory, fame, fortune, love....

Leonard Cohen changes Alexandria to Alexandra, making the loss more firmly that of love. The song, in Cohen's hands, becomes about how to face the loss of a lover and all the accompanying promises and expectations. The warrior's exhortation to face up to the loss of life on the eve of battle transforms into the lover's counsel to be strong and accept the loss of a relationship.

The song as written carries no particular significance to specific biographical events in Cohen's life but is more of a symbolic dirge carrying many layers of meaning.

What does it mean to you?

Alexandria Leaving...

Suddenly the night has grown colder.
The god of love preparing to depart.
Alexandra hoisted on his shoulder,
They slip between the sentries of the heart.

Upheld by the simplicities of pleasure,
They gain the light, they formlessly entwine;
And radiant beyond your widest measure
They fall among the voices and the wine.

It's not a trick, your senses all deceiving,
A fitful dream, the morning will exhaust -
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving.
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost.

Even though she sleeps upon your satin;
Even though she wakes you with a kiss.
Do not say the moment was imagined;
Do not stoop to strategies like this.

As someone long prepared for this to happen,
Go firmly to the window. Drink it in.
Exquisite music. Alexandra laughing.
Your firm commitments tangible again.

And you who had the honor of her evening,
And by the honor had your own restored -
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving;
Alexandra leaving with her lord.

Even though she sleeps upon your satin;
Even though she wakes you with a kiss.
Do not say the moment was imagined;
Do not stoop to strategies like this.

As someone long prepared for the occasion;
In full command of every plan you wrecked -
Do not choose a coward's explanation
that hides behind the cause and the effect.

And you who were bewildered by a meaning;
Whose code was broken, crucifix uncrossed -
Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving.
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost.

Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving.
Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost.

~ Leonard Cohen

I love this song. To hear this Cohen song, click here.

This song is based on Constantine Cavafy's Poem 'The God Abandons Antony' (http://users.hol.gr/~barbanis/cavafy/antony.html). The same Antony from 'Julius Caesar' and 'Antony and Cleopatra'. The original poem itself is based on Plutarch's story that Antony heard a ghostly, musical procession the night before he lost the siege of Alexandria to Octavian. The procession - among other things, signified the desertion of his God protector, Bacchus. The departing procession could thus signify the loss of love, glory, fame, fortune, love....

Leonard Cohen changes Alexandria to Alexandra, making the loss more firmly that of love. The song, in Cohen's hands, becomes about how to face the loss of a lover and all the accompanying promises and expectations. The warrior's exhortation to face up to the loss of life on the eve of battle transforms into the lover's counsel to be strong and accept the loss of a relationship.

The song as written carries no particular significance to specific biographical events in Cohen's life but is more of a symbolic dirge carrying many layers of meaning.

What does it mean to you?

Which Came First?

Jiffy Pop? or Smoke Alarms/Detectors?

Yep, the noise of popping corn and the smell of burnt popcorn should wake you up! ha!

Now, I don't care who ya are, that's funny!

Another Blow

Well, no sooner do I think things will look up than something else tears it down again. Say today for instance. Teen was told last week that she had to get up three days this week, today, tomorrow and Thursday for state testing at her high school. She told me last night that her not getting out of the car when I took her to school on several occasions (which has been all year remember she is under homebound instruction; either that or it was obvious truancy and then detention) was just childish and stupid, and since she is working part-time now and has more responsibility that was not going to happen. Well, she neglected to get ready to go, despite having plenty of time to do it in, which stressed me out because God knows we've been through this countless times.

She comes down pretending to be ready sarcastically wearing a tank top and sloppy housepants and we proceed to get into the car, with her telling me that she wasn't going to get out of the car anyway once we got out there, well shit hit the fan for me at that point. I ordered her back into the house to get a jacket or change, and realizing she wasn't doing this, I went up to her bedroom, had words with her angrily I might add. I wanted her to know that I meant business. I was so upset that I slide everything off her mantle and onto the floor, and with it breaking three glasses with whatever was in them. Her room is a total pigsty, she leaves food in bowls up there for a week at a time.

She goes to pushing me out of her room. I try to clean up the mess. We continue the verbage, and at some point results in her striking me physically with her closed fist about four times on my left arm/forearm. I leave the room. She comes downstairs and picks up the phone and said she called 9-1-1 while I am still trying to clean the mess up, and I tell her to go ahead, that mothers and daughters having disputes all the time, and I'll show the officer my already starting to bruise arm when he get here. Not to mention through all this madness I am working 8 hours or trying to, and don't get done due to the delays I am having to go through.

After I finish work, I just take off in the car. I need to blow off some steam, have a conversation to air my frustration with a friend or I'm going to just "lose it" myself. She laid her ass in the bed all day in her damned room, while I had to work 8 hours, and sit and stew about it all day long, and I wonder if tomorrow is going to be the same damn way. I am still pissed and it's nearly 10 p.m. Good thing she has counseling tomorrow afternoon, because I am ready to blow.

Got a Derby Pick Winner?

Put On Your Hat, and Place a Derby Bet~!

The Kentucky Derby is today at Churchill Downs in Louisville, I'm sure the town is packed to the hilt! Anyway, I always like to watch the Derby, it's exciting! and try to the pick who I think might win. Let's hope no injuries befall the horses, like it did poor Eight Belles last year. 

As far as a hat, they have become as much a part of the tradition of the Kentucky Derby as fast horses and mint juleps. You can get in the Derby without a hat of course, but if you're going you might as well wear one, right? Kentucky is after all the home of fast horses and beautiful women, or is that beautiful horses and fast women?! ha!



I have always loved hats myself, and this one would be a nice choice should I actually be going, however I get a better view from my couch. I might even make my own mint julep too while watching to see my pick of horse win tomorrow.  If you're interested in seeing the contenders and their odds, here it is. Since I Want Revenge scratched, I will go with Dunkirk, my choice to win.

Post	Horse	Trainer	Dosage	Jockey	M/L Odds
1	West Side Bernie *	Kelly Breen	1.80	Stewart Elliott	30-1
2	Musket Man	Derek Ryan	4.00	Eibar Coa	20-1
3	Mr. Hot Stuff	Eoin Harty	2.11	John Velazquez	30-1
4	Advice	Todd Pletcher	3.80	Rene Douglas	30-1
5	Hold Me Back	Bill Mott	3.44	Kent Desormeaux	15-1
6	Friesan Fire	Larry Jones	3.00	Gabriel Saez	5-1
7	Papa Clem	Gary Stute	3.36	Rafael Bejarano	20-1
8	Mine That Bird	Bennie Woolley	5.40	Calvin Borel	50-1
9	Join in the Dance	Todd Pletcher	2.00	Chris DeCarlo	50-1
10	Regal Ransom	Saeed bin Suroor	2.00	Alan Garcia	30-1
11	Chocolate Candy *	Jerry Hollendorfer	2.08	Mike Smith	20-1
12	General Quarters	Mark Miller	2.69	Julien Leparoux	20-1
13	I Want Revenge *	Jeff Mullins	3.00	Joe Talamo	3-1
14	Atomic Rain	Kelly Breen	3.40	Joe Bravo	50-1
15	Dunkirk	Todd Pletcher	3.00	Edgar Prado	4-1
16	Pioneerof the Nile *	Bob Baffert	3.89	Garrett Gomez	4-1
17	Summer Bird	Tim Ice	2.11	Chris Rosier	50-1
18	Nowhere to Hide	Nick Zito	2.33	Shaun Bridgmohan	50-1
19	Desert Party	Saeed bin Suroor	3.80	Ramon Dominguez	15-1
20	Flying Private	D. Wayne Lukas	3.67	Robby Albarado	50-1

Make your pick, fix your mint julep, tune in and see if your pick wins! 

Here's the mint julep recipe. 

Mix 2 cups water with 2 cups sugar. Boil for 5 minutes. Add 6-8 sprigs of fresh mint. Cover container. Refrigerate overnight. Fill one glass at a time over crushed ice. Add 1 tablespoon of mint syrup and 2 shots of your finest Kentucky Bourbon. Stir rapidly and garnish with a fresh sprig of mint. Wallah! A little taste of Kentucky to get you ready for the Derby!

Think you've picked the winner?    

Derby Winner!

Jockey Calvin Borel atop Mine That Bird crosses the finish line to win the 135th running of the Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs in Louisville, Kentucky. Yes, in one of the biggest upsets in Kentucky Derby history, it was the Mine That Bird, (ridden by 2008 Kentucky Derby jockey, Calvin Borel), who won by more than 6 lengths - leaving the favorites eating mud on a rainy derby day in Louisville. Odds? 50-1. Did you guys see that the favorite Freisen came in next to last place? Dunkirk didn't do much better. However, I love it when an underdog with such odds comes through to win!    What an exciting race!