Turkey Talk...

Let's talk turkey.  

Okay, bloggers, Turkey Day is almost officially in countdown mode now.  Thanksgiving is just hours away, and I've decided that I would give a shout-out to those unsung heroes of the holiday season: the ladies who work the Butterball Hotline (1-800-288-8372) and offer advice, cooking tips, solace and (occasionally) medical assistance to those completely befuddled by the cooking of the Big Bird.

The question posed here (meaning I looked this shit up on Google), was an actual question that one of the Ladies of the Butterball Turkey Emergency Squad has been asked.  While the answer isn't exactly what 'she' would or did say...who ever really calls this place? 

Question: "How do I get a chihuahua out of my turkey?"
Answer:  Butterball lady says, "Excuse me, m'am?

Question: "Yes, my chihuahua crawled inside my turkey and is stuck. How do I get him out?"

Answer: Why would you want to do that? Chihuahuas are both delicious and nutritious and will bring a nice South of the Border flair to your Thanksgiving meal. Just take into account the weight of the dog when calculating a cooking time, and it should make for some excellent eating after being basted for several hours in a Butterball turkey's delicious natural juices. Oh, and also? I'd make sure your oven door has a strong lock.

Yeah, some people love eating dog all year, not just at Thanksgiving...gross!! lol...

Well, I don't know about yuns, but thinking about a big turkey stuffed with Chihuahua and all the trimmings make me feel exhausted, nauseous, and sleepy!  I could go with a fat juicy hamburger, chips/dip, and maybe a soda and I think that would be perfect! The kids would think so too, in fact, why cook all that stuff and then have it leftover?  Order a pizza, fix some hamburgers, and the kids make cookies, take them to a movie, spend less time inside eating, more time doing something else.  While I would not miss a turkey and all that other junk, I would absolutely have to have some pumpkin pie. 

Yes, turkey can go...but pumpkin pie is a must! and with that, I hope you guys have a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Be kind to those you despise all year long, and take a dessert over to the gathering, makes for interesting fun later.  Yes, for MIL (mother-in-law) its Ex-Lax laced brownies, Yes! she sooooo loves chocolate!

a fishy tale

Growing up, the closest we got to fish was those processed fish sticks made out of minced weird fish, which my mother overcooked, but then she overcooked everything and with an overabundance of salt.

While raising my own children, I could not get them to necessarily come to love fish with the same respect I did. I could make salmon patties, more or less covering up that good flavor, but try to get them to eat a nice fillet outside of frying was just impossible. My father and I had a love of fish and all things seafood, like shrimp and lobster, and fresh water fish; love cod and red snapper, tilipia is rather bland to me; I prefer something a little stronger and tastier.

For lunch today, I fixed Atlantic salmon, oh my gawd, it was so delicious! I dearly love it. I cannot get little Isabella to each fish at all either, so while she was at her mother's I got my craving in. The cats meowed to get a taste of it, which I gave up very little of, teasing them. I don't like a whole lot of seasoning on my meat or fish, I want the real flavor to shine through, otherwise whats the use?

Moody Me...


the perfect ending for my workweek, a little easy listening jazz...

"I want you to want me..." Kirk Whalum...

"...Body, remember not only how much you were loved, not only the beds where you lay, but also those desires for you, shining clearly in eyes and trembling in a voice—and some chance obstacle thwarted them. Now when everything is the past, it almost looks as if you gave yourself to those desires as well—how they shone— remember—in the eyes that looked at you, how they trembled for you in the voice—remember, body.." 
quote by CONSTANTINE P. CAVAFY

have your feeling of moment at...

funny

 An older gentleman had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients.


He approached the receptionist's desk. The receptionist was a large, imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name and in a very loud voice the receptionist said: "Yes, I see your name here... you want to see the doctor about impotence, right?"


The heads of all the patients in the waiting room snapped around, to look at the very embarrassed man.

He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice replied: "No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation... and I'd like the same doctor that did yours!"

hahahaha!

how about another joke?

A teacher is talking about marriage.

"What kind of wife would you like, Tommy?" she asks.

"One like the moon," says Tommy.

"Do you want her to be calm and beautiful?" asks the teacher.

"No, I want her to come at night and disappear in the morning."

Well, the weekend surely goes too quickly.  Its back to the grind.  We have had a lot of changes lately, people leaving in high positions, makes one a little nervous.  Anyway, it will be a day of moving work around, and reviewing files, etc...

Have a good Monday everybody!


He's a Creeper...

Are any of you guys watching this "Sweet Genius" show on Food Network.  I love a few shows on this channel, like Iron Chef and Chopped, but this show...

Sweet Genius is a sugar-packed competition series that challenges America's premier pastry chefs to create magical and inventive desserts given inspiration, surprise ingredients and a finite amount of time. The chefs must compete in three unique pastry challenges judged by Ron Ben-Israel — the Sweet Genius creeper himself — who will critique their work and determine who will receive the $10,000 cash prize.

He makes his grand entrance through some opening doors, swish! They have this female robotic voice who will tell each of the contestants about the ingredient and/or the inspiration object, as these things make their way down this conveyer belt after he hits some button; and just when they think they got their dessert worked out he throws a 'secret' ingredient down the runway...Yep...its just downright creepy...and the host...the ultimate creeper in my opinion.   

Yep, this is the one your mother warned you about ... the sugar creeper! sweet genius...my ass! he's a sugar sadist!

TGIF

I have definitely had moments of stress this week.  Luckily nobody got hurt; however I am not vocally challenged when it comes to email...I will let 'er rip! Yep, they ain't paying me enough for this stress!  Its a constant battle with these ICs (independent contractors, not worth the powder and lead to blow them up most days) and employee FQAs reminding them of what they should already know and be doing on these accounts.  Do they read or follow instructions available to them? hell no...They would rather interrupt me on IM (instant mesenger) while I have enough on my plate with reviewing files and managing the workload flow.  Tonight it dragged on way too long, and at 9:30 p.m. I finally got done with what I had to do.  Fruck that shit! You know how this scenario goes.  Pete and RePete were sitting on a fence, Pete fell off, who was left? why Repeat (aka Re-Pete) of course!

Whose got booze? Somebody take me away from this madness!

Oh, did I mention? Isabella is at a pajama party tonight at her friend's house....which means, while the little one is away, mamaw can play! hahaha!

Happy Friday everybody!

My Excuse...



I love being off on Mondays...I am actually off tomorrow too I think...LOL...

Actually I have vacation time coming, and I am damn sure taking it...
not like last year, I lost it...

and how was your Monday?  

trick or treat was fun, running around with the kids...

"Little Bo Creep" did not wear her costume, as her mommy bought her an unoriginal spider vampiress type of costume so she wore that. 

Wyatt was Woody...typical boy.

They had way too much fun! but I got candy to last me all week...LOL

melovecandy!

if walls could talk...


....
surrounded by the Allegheny hills, and the trees shrouded in a palpable dread,
it broods....
alone, forgotten, hopeless...

picture source

Jack Scranton couldn't understand why any woman would have so many photographs of herself scattered throughout her home, but he didn't really have time to worry about whatever form of narcissism the dead woman had been into.

He hadn't meant to kill her, but he hadn't expected her to be home. He'd been so careful about timing her movements and he knew she never returned home before nine on Thursdays. That's why he'd been so startled, when he opened her bedroom door and saw her standing there in her robe and slippers. She'd screamed, so he'd backhanded her and sent her flying backward against the sharp corner of a dresser. Her head had hit it with a sickening thud and then bent at an unnatural angle as she'd slid to the floor.

He'd never killed anyone before, never even come close, and his hands shook unceasingly as he rooted through her dresser drawers. He kept glancing furtively over at the body, not knowing what to expect, and hurried through the bedroom as quickly as possible. He opened the bottom drawer on each dresser, then worked his way up. Only amateurs started at the top, having to close each drawer before opening the next. He found a jewelry box and dumped its contents into the leather satchel he carried with him. Before leaving the bedroom, he glanced at the body, wondering if he should pull the diamond from her finger. But the thought of touching the body made his stomach churn like a washing machine and he gave up the idea.

He knew he should abandon this job, but it had been months since his last successful score and his cash reserve had almost disappeared. He'd spent weeks casing this woman's house after Al Witherspoon-- an insurance agent who took ten percent of every successful score he turned Jack onto-- had given him the details.

"Her name's Annie Rivers. She's a vice-president for Cooper Industries, lives alone, and must keep a good hundred to two hundred thousand in cash and jewels in the house at any one time," Al had told him when they'd met under the neon beer sign in the back booth at the Malibu Bar and Grill.

Al described the security system-- a good one, but one that Jack had cracked many times in the past.
"She's got some relative, Fannie Albright, lives in Arizona, named in her life insurance policy," Al explained. "When I talked to her about her homeowner's policy, she told me there's no other relatives, no husbands, ex-husbands, or boyfriends."

"What about her schedule?" Jack asked.

"That's up to you to figure out. I've done everything I can." Al gathered up his papers and stuffed them into his briefcase. He'd shown Jack her entire file, including a rough layout of the house and Polaroids of the security system and many of the rooms. Everything he'd shown Jack went back into his briefcase so he could return it to the office. The two wouldn't talk again until Jack delivered Al's ten percent.

Jack had spent the three weeks following his meeting with Al watching Annie Rivers' home, tracking her arrival and departure times until he felt certain of a time when she would be away from the house long enough for him to ransack it. Most evenings she returned home between six and seven, but each Thursday she played racquetball with one of the company's other vice presidents. On those nights she never returned home before nine.

The time between eight and nine seemed best. By then the sun would have gone down and her nearest neighbors would be unable to see him prowling around outside. He could be inside her house within ten minutes, could ransack the place within fifty minutes, and be back in his car and pulling away moments before she arrived home from her game.

Jack shook his head, trying to forget all the events that had led to his current, untenable situation. He needed to finish and get out. He needed to get away from the house as quickly as possible, but he couldn't leave until he'd gotten all the cash and everything he could pawn. He would need to leave town as soon as possible. He tried to keep his attention on the task at hand, tried to concentrate on his desire for cash and not on the body in the other bedroom.

Still, the photos spooked him. It was like the dead woman watched his every move.

He finished the room and moved on to the next, then the next. At a quarter of nine he finished with the upstairs and at two minutes past nine he finished with the downstairs. He'd made quite a haul and felt sure he would have enough to leave town, perhaps even to disappear for a long, long time.

As he crossed the foyer from the den to the living room, Jack heard a key in the front door and stopped. Annie Rivers lived alone and never had unexpected visitors. He'd made sure of it.

When the dead woman opened the door, stepped into the foyer, and snapped on the light, Jack was so startled he stood dumbly, caught like a deer in a car's headlights. Annie saw him and instinctively swung her racquetball racquet, connecting with his face and sending him flying backward. He hit his head on the banister of the staircase and tumbled to the ground in a heap, obviously knocked cold. The leather satchel in his hands dropped to the floor and popped open, spilling her collection of jewelry and two tightly banded stacks of twenty dollar bills to the floor.

Annie phoned 911. Within minutes, her home swarmed with police. After Jack had been roused, handcuffed, and escorted away, white-faced and shaking, in the rear seat of a squad car, Annie stood with a police lieutenant trying to maintain her composure. Two men in white uniforms wheeled a gurney containing her sister's body past them. "My sister had just arrived this morning," Annie explained as she dabbed at her tears with corner of her sweatshirt sleeve. "All the way from Phoenix. I had already taken tomorrow off so we could go shopping."

Annie bit her lip and stared at the photo of her twin on the fireplace mantel.

story courtesy of mystery net