After a chat with the Commonwealth Attorney this week, my teenager will not be needed for this trial, neither will the testify of my grown daughter be needed. I am relieved that this family can once again have a chance at reconciliation. My oldest daughter did not really want to testify anyway and have the teen (her half sister) believe that anything she said had a hand in putting teen's Dad in prison. Smart move from the Commonwealth. They believe their case to be a solid one.
This man has my teen convinced that he is going to walk out this. He is a piece of work I have to tell you, and I can't wait to watch the circus and the reading of the guilty verdict. I want him to feel my presence there. It will a small victory for this family when he is convicted. The years of manipulation and abuse will finally be over. The teen does not believe he will be convicted, she believes what he tells her, and that these girls are lying about her dad. The Commonwealth Attorney's office believes very strongly that the evidence will stand for itself and he will be convicted, despite his history of sexual abuse towards my oldest daughter back in 1993.
While in the Commonwealth's office he could see how Bobbi was biased and believed in her Dad's innocence. I told him that it would be nearly impossible to wipe out the years of damage and brainwashing he did to her beginning when she was a small child, and I believe and others do as well, that she was sexually abused too. She has all the symptoms of PTSD. The Commonwealth Attorney will, however, keep her under subpoena, and let her Dad squirm wondering. The teen is still very angry at the foster girls, but after talking in the Commonwealth's office, she said it sounds as if her Dad will be convicted. This has been such a horrible experience for her, and it still isn't over. Even if her Dad is convicted she will probably never believe it, and feel he was wrongly accused.
In a way, I think the teen needs to hear the testimony and see what a creep her Dad truly is. What do you think?
Wow, that's a tough call.
ReplyDeleteI would suggest talking about that one with a psychologist / therapist. It might be a good idea, might not, depending on a lot of factors.
I am thinking if she is not ready to believe it, nothing you or anyone says will change it.
And that she probably needs the assistance of a therapist to come to terms with everything about this. Perhaps she is afraid to admit that he molested the other girls because then she'll have to consider whether he molested her, too, and simply can't deal with that (and may be subconsciously suppressing it, or even consciously denying it)?
And if she continues to believe he is innocent, she probably could use some help dealing with that, as well -- i.e., coming to terms with the fact that her dad will be in prison when she thinks he is innocent.
And if she comes to accept that he molested the other kids, and starts to recognize that she was abused, too, she'll need help handling those emotions, too - and also trying to figure out how to relate to you through all of this.
Get that kid some therapy. I hope she can find someone to talk to that she trusts....
I have had her in therapy since the beginning (last year when he was arrested), and until she breaks through with some emotion and willingness to explore the possibilities, it has seemed to be a waste of time. Finding a good therapist is key here, as she trusts very little people and is hypervigilant. God knows we all believe she needs it, especially me. I have seriously worried about the kid for a few years now with her memory loss, anger, hypervigilance, inabilty to sleep or have a normal schedule, the lying, sneaking, impulsiveness, possibly sexually acting out? Lord knows.
ReplyDeleteOMG!I really feel sick!Someone closed to me has been abused as a child as well and someone raped me few years ago(it's not a secret,I finally post it in public few months ago,if you go back on my blog,you'll see.I needed to do it for myself)what can I say?Well that she really needs to take it out in a way or another.Keeping it for ourselves isn't good at all.I hope she found someone she really trust,not just a therapist.I heal by writing,I think it's one of the best therapy,but some people are more inclined to talk,others to do some artistic stuff like music ect..that helps too.It never really goes away,but it gets a bit better with time if you take it out.You have all my sympathy,your daughter and family.And I hope it will get convicted,I am strict on crimes like those.Really!In the mean time,we really need a good laugh,meet me in Otin's place!:)
ReplyDelete"In a way, I think the teen needs to hear the testimony and see what a creep her Dad truly is. What do you think?"
ReplyDeleteI think yes. I say this because (I think) it would be easier for her in the long run to know the truth about him than to think of him as a martyr in whom she should continue to invest emotional energy.
hey Candi, thanks for dropping over. It seems that there is a lot of sexual abuse going on, and it probably touches (no pun intended) 1 out of 3 families. She does love music to excess! Sometimes she gets fixated on a song and plays it over and over, and over...yep, I'll see ya 'round the blog block for a giggle or two!
ReplyDeletehey Snow, I think so too, but being under subpoena will keep her out of the courtroom. However we got a call back and my oldest daughter might have to testify, depending on how the defense proceeds.
ReplyDeleteUgh - what an awful experience for everyone to have to go through. I wish you and your family the best getting through this.
ReplyDelete- Margaret
Although I haven't be following these developments in detail, I'm deeply saddened for everyone in this horror story.
ReplyDeleteAnd sometimes nothing can be done to correct horrific problems.
Blessings and courage to you all in a very difficult time.