Miss Crabby Patties...

Isabella woke up grouchy as an old bear! Said her head hurt, her neck hurt, she couldn't get up, and she was not going to school, and if she did she was going to be the meanest ever and "you'll get a call mamaw from the school telling you to come pick me up!"  I checked her head to see if she was running a fever, because last week she had the flu, so I thought maybe she could be relapsing, but instead of engaging in the negativity of the morning, I just went about my cheery self, defrosting the inside of the car windshield...what? yes! I know that's strange and scary...in any event, she got dressed and went onto school without incident.

the big D word...Discipline. 

Reach to mash their smart mouths and you'll end up with threats from Your Brattiness of "You can't do that...I'll tell my teachers...or I'll call Social Services or 9-1-1..." and who wants jail time? right?

its just not legal to hit children despite the frustrations of grandparenthood...

Instead of that, perhaps contemplate taking them for a drive instead.

I'm not sure what it is exactly....

It could be the vibrations from the road,

or the scenery,

or something like that.

Either way:  it works!

...

...

... 

Things a mean girl would say

  Size matters; oh yes it does! to a naked man... 


1.   I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2.   Ahhhh, it's cute.  
3.   Why don't we just cuddle?
4.   You know they have surgery to fix that.
5.   Make it dance.
6.   Can I paint a smiley face on it?  
7.   Wow, and your feet are so big.   
8.   It's okay, we'll work around it.  
9.   Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10.  Oh no... I just got a flash headache.  
11.  (Giggling and pointing)  
12.  Can I be honest with you?  
13.  How sweet, you brought incense.  
14.  This explains your car.  
15.  Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
16.  Why is God punishing me?
17.  At least this won't take long.
18.  I never saw one like that before.  
19.  But it still works, right?  
20.  It looks so unused.
21.  Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22.  Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?  
23.  Are you cold?  
24.  If you get me real drunk first.
25.  Is that an optical illusion?
26.  What is that?  
27.  It's a good thing you have so many other talents.  
28.  Does it come with an air pump?  
29.  So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.  
30.  I guess this makes me the early bird.

hahaha!  some of those were pretty funny, but of course, I would never ever say anything like this...to each their own.  Its not the size, its what they do with it, right? no? well...!

Uniquely Weird...

While out browsing, I came across this article on unique properties, however they provided no link with which you could read about them or entertain the history of how they came to be.  Anyway, I figured I would share, since I had to go hunt for links so I could read about them.  Sometimes I have too much time of my hands and should be doing some house chores instead of taking home tours!


Ghost-Proof Mansion
California’s ghost-proof mansion is so mysterious that it can even fool the ghosts. The 750 rooms of this mansion include fake staircases, doors, and chimneys. Spiraling staircases leading you to the blank walls, adds to the mysterious factor of the mansion.  Great information about the background and history of this house at Wikipedia.

House on Rock
Wisconsin’s house on rock sits pretty on a 60 foot giant rock overlooking a scenic valley placed 450 feet below. This engineering marvel took 5000 tons of solid stone chips and 500 tons of sand mixture for its construction.  There is a video and a website, both of which are worth checking out. 

House of Bottles
18,000 soda, beer, medicine, and liquor bottles were required to construct the magnificent house of bottles. Tourists from all across the world make it a point to visit this unique home during their visit to British Columbia.  To read about this house, click here.

The Revolving Home

This circular-shaped structure of Connecticut has rooms which look just like slices from a pie. The construction rests over a 3-ton heavy ball and revolves with the help of a 2 h.p. motor. The transparent glass windows add to the attraction and beauty of the revolving home.  Here is a video tour.

Underground House
This beautifully carved structure under the earth’s surface took more than 40 years to get completed. Built in the year 1946, the underground house of Fresno, California provides a 90-room facility for its guests and visitors.  Want to see more?  click here.

Now, if you got an opportunity to stay at one of these homes, which one will you choose? While the ghost-proof mansion can make you feel secured, the underground house can arouse your curiosity. Again, the house on rock can give you a taste of excitement and adventure, while the house of bottles and the revolving home can promise you pure fun and amusement! 

hahaha gadgets!

 well fellers, if your Friday nights get too boring, spice it up with a new mouse pad!

 


John Lennon said that happiness is a warm gun. While a nerd will tell you that happiness can be found in the warm touch of a boob mouse on a quiet evening after the latest comic book or instruction manual read has been put away.  too funny!

Chores - The Dirty Word

Ladies..."Don't cook. Don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum - "My God, the floor's immaculate. Lie down, you hot bitch." You can thank Joan Rivers for that quote.  Yeah, we've all been under-appreciated for our efforts at keeping a clean house.  I'm over it.  I used to border on obsessive-compulsive to clean everyday but this was before I had an all encompassing salaried job, and not to mention a 10 year old whose messier than 5 kids! Just the mention of the word "chores" and Isabella has a meltdown...LOL...and fighting with her to get them done and I'm ready for a meltdown!

Its the dirtiest word ever, you know, to ring in the ears of a 10 year old!

...ohmygawd...do I have to?

If you want company to come over, you'd better get busy, Missy! and if you keep up that yappin' you can hand over that IPod! I realize that the livingroom has become your changing station for school in the mornings, eeeeew, gross, is that your underwear?! pick those things up!

Yep, I just hate it when I look around and its obvious the day has come...its the weekend and this house is out of control...dishes need done, vacuuming is in order, and lets not talk about the basement and that laundry pile shall we?

I spent many years keeping a clean house, teaching my kids how to clean, and while I haven't always been the most organized, but I do love to have a clean house, its just finding the time to keep it that way.   Today Isabella was going to the YMCA to swim, and I know this kid has 15 pairs of flipflops around this house, but did she fine 1 pair?  No!  I guess the flip-flop fairy decided she had too many and gave them to the needy or some shit, so she went without them! 

I have been in a habit of procrastinating lately, and not only with the housework.  Anyway its useless...I no sooner clean it up, then it goes right back to its messy state again! I just don't understand it...LOL. At this juncture, I am not willing to spend countless hours in pursuit of trying to maintain an immaculate environment any more, it just needs to pass inspection!  Some things are just not that important till I get to it, like the lid on the toothpaste being off, stuff strewn around out of place, clothes and towels on the bathroom floor, or a few dirty dishes stacked up in the kitchen sink.  Okay, okay, sometimes you cannot find a clean glass in the damn house! So am I not allowed to have a bad week, a lazy streak?  Yep, my idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance, decide what evidence I need to hide, and move onto doing something I enjoy better, like surfing, listening to music, and blogging! After all, housework is something we do that nobody notices until we don't do it cause they decide to drop in on ya for an unexpected visit. Let's hope the skivies have been picked up!

As the quote goes, "our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy!"

Happy Saturday, bloggers! 

the prettiest girl in the house...and the boy who loves her!

 

 Sissy sure has grown from an itty-bitty kitten into quite the beauty, and has the sweetest disposition ever! She still doesn't meow either, its some cute little purr-noise especially when she's excited or when I talk and call her to come over to me.  She is my little shadow, follows me from room to room, and still loves to chase shadows, even those early morning car lights that bounce on the walls...LOL....  When I go to bed, she goes with me and either sleeps at my feet or likes to snuggle up under my blanket with me.  Its unbelievable how much this cat is loved by me!

...and here is "Bubby" he is the man of the house. He knows he's my first love, my gentle giant, accepting of Sissy as a kitten. He's very vocal but will run from anybody that comes in except family, and hardly ever will go up to any male figure, as my ex was abusive toward him. Sometimes Sissy grooms him and its so sweet to see them laying around one another; they don't do it often. Bubby gets tired of Sissy wanting to play and frolic, so he comes to me and lets me know by either meowing or jumping up behind me so he can escape! Watching them play fight if hilarious but Sissy has claws, he has been declawed, poor thing. Still, Sissy knows he is the boss around here. His favorite spot is curled up behind me in my desk chair...which is where this pic was taken! This cat was my daughter's who is now 20, and I know she's had this cat since she was 7, maybe 6, so he's old. I do worry that he sleeps alot, and he is rather thin for a Maine Coon, even though he eats. It could be old age, perhaps a trip to the vet is in order.

Hand Sanitizer - the tween craze

I don't understand the fascination with this stuff.  Whatever happened to good old fashioned habits like washing your hands?

Any chemical agent (Ticlosan - classified as a pesticide) that could possibly affect your endocrine system is not something I want to lather up with or let Isabella use!  I caught Isabella smearing hand sanitizer on her hands out of some little bottle that looks cute, like a keychain, and going on about how good it smells, but she's 10 (a crazed hormonal tween) and she says its cool and everybody uses it!  and begs me to buy her some, which I refuse.   We go in places/businesses and if they have a hand sanitizer dispenser she's right at it.  She seems fascinated with using 'hand sanitizers" but I told her that it was not something she needs to readily be using.  She got some as a gift at Christmas by well intentioned do-gooders, but I thought I had thrown those out. I opted to buy her some nice smelling lotion to apply instead after she washed her hands! I do find that even at home she hardly ever washes her hands, I have to remind her!

 

'Tweens' Isabella's age, 10 and older, are attracted by the brightly colored packages and sweet scents, they don't care that alcohol dries their skin out, so the convenience of overuse by kids is concerning. If it smells good, curious George/Georgettes want to know if it tastes good.  Fact is, hand sanitizers has a very high alcohol content.  A two ounce bottle can contain as much as 62 percent ethyl alcohol—that’s four shots of vodka! that's enough to cause alcohol poisoning in a small kid.  Perhaps this will be the new "high" ... chasing it with a Coke, like huffing for goodness sakes, just eat hand sanitizer if you can't buy alcohol, right?! its a cheap high.  I've seen alcoholics who would drink after-shave lotion for the alcohol content, so the possibility does exist for this to happen.

One last thing, its highly flammable! Kids love tricks, well even some adults do, but... Don't Play With Matches  ... Oh, the stupidity!

Kids don't monitor themselves...so as consumers we need to say NO to hand sanitizers! Get in there and wash your hands!

that's G-N-A-R-L-E-Y

Gilbert Gnarley is a character developed and voiced by Gary Burbank of Cincinnati, Ohio , radio station 700 WLW . His comedy sketches involve prank phone calls to various businesses, organizations, and corporate headquarters, during which it becomes evident that Gilbert is very confused about something. Examples include a call to a local elementary school principal to ask for forgiveness for leaving school early after being sent to the principal's office on 7 December 1941 after learning of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, or a call to local ER with wax paper over comb rattling as he spoke, asking if is he should get the kazoo he swallowed at a particularly exciting "Red's Kazoo Night" at Riverfront Stadium the previous night removed; or calling a funeral home, to arrange for the body of his wife Iona to be displayed inside a food buffet, claiming that he had invented the salad bar, but failed to get a patent in time, or calling a a phone sex hotline, to explain that he had a weakness for...food. Each time the female on the line tried to turn the conversation to more erotic topics, Gilbert continually reverted to talking about food. LOL hilarious!

Those who answer the calls may not initially realize that he is confused, but once they discover the source of his confusion, their reactions range from heartfelt compassion to annoyance to fits of laughter, all of which are used for comedic value. Traits of his calls include always spelling his last name forhislistener—"Hello, my name is Gilbert Gnarley, G-N-A-R-L-E-Y..." — and never saying "goodbye" at the end of the call, instead saying "Okay? Okay?" repeatedly, inducing the individual to respond either with an affirming "okay" or to hang up.

Gilbert is an elderly resident of the St. Pia Zadora Golden Buckeye Retirement Community in Pisgah, a community outside Cincinnati, where he lives with his dog, the Amazing Crepso. He was married to his wife, Iona Gnarley, for 35 years before, reportedly, she was killed by a falling crate of life rafts. [In one bit, Gilbert's wife's name was Euletta Gnarley.] Gilbert's room mate is named Myron Flats, and has a malicious sense of humor and a flatulence problem. On 21 December 2007, Gnarley was taken out of retirement and received a call from Myron Flatts, F-L-A-T-T-S from the Pisgah Decency League while working at Toys 'R' Us... Never to be heard from again.

All bits are G-rated , and the humor stems from the sympathy of the victims for this exceedingly polite though confused gentleman, not from any sort of shock value. Appropriately, the theme music was Romance from the Gadfly Suite by Dmitri Shostakovich .

the scenario on the below video is a prank call to a psychic to ask him to help him find a winning lottery ticket...LOL...Psychic must really think he was gonna get something out of the deal.

...and who could forget Earl Pitts commentaries! another radio personality created by Gary Burbank.  Pitts, who is almost always referred to as "Earl Pitts, Uhmerikun" (as in "American ") is a stereotype of a redneck from the Southern United States . As such, Pitts presents a daily "editorial," which always begins with a bugle call of "Assembly" , and the words, "Ya' know what makes me sick?" followed by another line like, "You know what makes me so angry, ah just want to soak mah butt in a bucket of toxic waste ?" Pitts then goes off on a rant, either about some cultural topic of the day as seen from a redneck point of view, or an anecdote about his home life or his job at the local tavern. His family and friends—wife Pearl, son Earl Junior, daughter Sandra Dee, and good friend Dub Meeker, among others—figure prominently in many routines. His signature ending lines are "Wake Up, Uhmerika!" and "Ah'm Earl Pitts, Uhmerikun. Pitts off!" while The Washington Post march plays in the background.

...this video has excerpts from "The Gary Burbank Show " broadcast in 1990 on WCPO Channel 9 in Cincinnati.  From 1981 to 2007, Gary Burbank hosted a daily radio show on 700 WLW. This video features characters developed by Gary on that show. For many fans, this may be the first time they see the faces of the character they loved for over twenty five years.  This video is posted with the permission of Gary Burbank.

bologna sammich on peter bread? LOL...

check out this Earl Pitts specially designed for a women, its hilarious...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_B6sjCe6IH4

or his video on sleazy women...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93L0XA5_8yY
enjoy! there are plenty of gr8 videos of characters created by Gary Burbank...