there is a time for love and a time for letting go~

In some aspects of my life, the sad is ending and new beginnings are always hopeful.  A recent liaison I was hopeful might blossom into something wonderful came to screeching halt, so while I am mourning that, I embrace the fact that life goes on.  I was never good at goodbyes or endings, and with endings came the demise of a site on Wordpress.  So long sweet friend, a lot of heart scattered into cyberspace with nary a trace of me; its time I soul cleansed, and begin again. Doesn't mean I won't miss you, and maybe you'll miss me just a little.  

My granddaughter who will soon be 14, will be coming to live with me.  She has been in a treatment facility for a few months, and I am welcoming her home with open arms.  The relationship with her mother, though tumultuous, is not a constant drain, as she is out of state.  I'm not sure how this will play out with granddaughter, but I keep telling myself that is her mother, my daughter, so I will need to find both courage and kindness to find the balance.  My daughter still fantasizes the notion of having her "family back intact" despite the years that have come and gone and the damage that had to be repaired.  I doubt granddaughter will ever trust her mother enough to live with her.  For now, I will fight for granddaughter ... its time to focus on where she is going in her own life at the tender age of 14 (May 27th), blaze her own path, live her life independently from her mother, at some point if she wishes to live with her mother then so be it.  She will be an adult in a few short years.  I wish my oldest daughter well, but giving up my granddaughter to an "unknown" seems a costly price to pay for a kid who never deserved the hand she was dealt.  She needs to be a teen, hang out with her friends, have a nice summer, and get enrolled in high school; the best years of her life are yet to come. Her mother needs to let go.

Its been a rough six years, off and on.  While oldest daughter has survived drug abuse, losing her children, she now is doing well, and I wish her well, as one day the knock on her door may be her own child.  I hope she keeps preparing herself for that day.  My youngest daughter has moved from an abusive and dysfunctional relationship with her father to now being married to a great guy who has the patience of a Saint, and she now two children, both under the age of 2.  Looking forward to watching them all grow in their love of one another.  Unburdened and happy in his life, is my son, also an adult in his 40s, living life with a wonderful girl he was smart enough to ask her to be his wife.  I thank him for bringing me such a wonderful daughter.  I do try to count my blessings. 

I don't know what the future holds, but love will guide the way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4PKzz81m5c