Heard of a vulvar aggressive female? yeah...well you have now! you can't make this stuff up, what MTs think they hear, or the speech rec engine spits it out, regardless, its hilarious!
that's one of the best workday funnies I've had in a while!
Many things have been said about Thanksgiving's ability to unite family,
remind us of what we have and comfort us with great food before the
long winter, but some of the best (and worst) things about the holiday
have been said by comedians. Let's face it: as wonderful as the holiday
may be, a day dedicated to football, gluttony and awkward family moments
with a questionable origin provides more than enough material for a
joke. Check out these quotes about Thanksgiving from a few comedians you'll probably recognize!
Jon Stewart: "I celebrated Thanksgiving in an
old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we
had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
Jim Gaffigan: "Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even
try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how
about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!'
'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'"
Stephen Colbert: "Thanksgiving is a magical time of
year when families across the country join together to raise America's
obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching
football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends
your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car."
Kevin James: "Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants."
Jack Handey: "If you're at a Thanksgiving dinner, but
you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else,
just pretend like you're eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap
and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you're out back
having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball
to the ground. Then say, 'Boy, these are good cigars!'"
Jay Leno: "You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out."
Johnny Carson: "Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday.
People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a
year. And then discover once a year is way too often." hahaha!
George Carlin: "We're having something a little
different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a
swan. You get more stuffing."
Greg Proops: Ever since you're little you hear this:
'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak
religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little
you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'"
David Letterman: When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a
turkey a year ahead of time and feed it and so on for the following
Thanksgiving. But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of
thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog. Only kidding. It was
the cat!
I started watching the polls after I had worked all day and while I am not a republican, Romney won the State of Kentucky. Go figure, rednecks, white socks, Republicans and Blue Ribbon beer! Perhaps Obama can actually get a few things accomplished in the next 4, who knows, but it sure beats the alternative.
Wookieepedia is a Star Wars encyclopedia written collaboratively by its readers, who are known as Wookieepedians. The site is a Wiki, meaning that anyone, including you, can edit almost any article right now by clicking on the Edit link that appears at the top of the page.
I guess if you want to explore and/or write a saga within this site, all it takes is a sign up! There are other Wikia communities on about any topic. I might have to explore this a little more.
makes me want to get out my recipes (or make it up as I go along) and make some soup or something comforting and homey!
Well lets see what do I have in the kitchen here, I got some broccoli, boneless chicken, chicken bouillon cubes...uhmmm...I think there might be some noodles in there somewhere, maybe some mushrooms I could saute and throw in...that should do, shouldn't it? can't forget the onions, garlic, whatever...lets see what happens!
