whats new in my neck of the woods?

well, it appears that granddaughter overstepped her bounds and is currently not living with me for a while. She has unleashed her anger at me long enough and when I got a black eye that was the last straw. I went to the juvenile system, and she is currently in Foster Care and starting services to get this behavior under control. I've had her in counseling pretty much the whole 4 years she has lived with me, but obviously she has to learn the hard way. At only 12, she has to know there are severe consequences for this type of behavior. I've warned and threatened her with calling the cops and in fact had to do so, in order for her to realize how serious this was becoming. I've had people talk to her, try to reach her, but it appears to have fallen on deaf ears. Tomorrow is my first visitation since she was taken out of the home. I saw her in court, and I think she thought all I had to do was tell the Judge she could come home, but truth is she needs to learn a lesson and however long it takes for that happen, I'm okay with it. It was a very hard decision for me to have to do, but I do feel that I did the right thing.

Stolen Wallet

If there's one thing I can't stand its a thief. Sunday I guess I inadvertently left my wallet in a shopping cart after lifting two 24 packs of water into the trunk of my car at around 5 PM. I thought I had put the wallet in my car console between the seats, however at 8:30 PM I discovered it was totally missing. Did I really leave it in that shopping cart? or did I leave my car unlocked long enough to go into the store and retrieve those two 24 packs of water that I paid for at around 4:45 but didn't have when I got home, so I made that 2nd trip back around. In any event, it feels like you've been totally stripped of your life, your credit cards, bank cards, license, insurance cards, (even my Social Security card was in there) along with a few checks are in the hands of a thief. 

First thing I did was open up my main online bank account.  He used my main and most important bank card at 6:30/7 renting himself a movie, and a snack costing around 6 bucks on my Mastercard.  I discovered online that I could 'lock' my MC debit card and I did so, which ended up being a godsend.  However the kid decided to use my Visa from another banking source once I blocked him from using my main Mastercard because at 10:05 PM there was a charge on my Visa of 25 bucks at Kroger's again.  This kid obviously carried my cards around in his pocket for 3 to 4 hours, which makes me feel as though he was working and got off at 10.  Luckily he did not use my cards very much like some people would have done with 2 bank cards, a JC Penney credit card, and checks, but a thief is a thief.  After using my Visa at Krogers, he drove out to the county so to speak, went into Walmart and proceeded to buy items totally 55 bucks, went to SuperQuik gas station and filled up his car with 20 bucks of gas, then drove to a neighboring town buying food.  I guess he wanted to go home and watch his movie, take a shower and use his deodorant and whatever other items he bought.  The Walmart security team said it was a kid once they pulled up the surveillance, who bought items to include deodorant...he'll need that in jail won't he? haha.  You can follow his every move from the first time he uses my bank cards to the last, but he'll pay for it. Frankly, I'd love to have my leather wallet back, and my other cards to include my license and Social Security card, that's scary, so maybe the cop can get him to squeal on where the location of my actual billfold is and where the other contents are.  I hope so.  I am hoping for a good outcome, and the thief serving time for the crime.  

Yep, its been two days of gathering information about where this kid went, what he charged, etc., dealing with the bank, getting statements, closing one account and making a new account, calling the places he visited for video surveillance to be made available, transferring funds, oh and making a police report along with the tasks of trying to gather and replace my items. :( UGH, like I said I can't stand a thief. 

welcoming a new soul...

 

into our lives ... a sweet baby girl on Tuesday!  Tomorrow is 40 weeks gestation and Tuesday is scheduled induction if the baby doesn't come before then.  I can't wait to meet her. I got her crib bed all fixed up and ready to go!  

Her mother was my little angel so many years ago...a miracle she even came into this world due to the fact that my cervix could have ruptured at any time, paper thin and see-through said my doctor who was amazed she was carried to term.  We didn't know this, nor did the doctor, until he went into do the cesarean section.  I definitely know that my guardian angel watches out for me, always has, and that even though some things happen without rhyme or reason, it was meant to be.  I truly believe that our loved ones are still with us and watching and guiding us from the other side in spirit after their physical bodies are no more.

I remember a few months back when daughter was worrying about whether she could mother and where her life was headed, she was visibly upset and told me that her grandmother came to visit her, in her dream, she said it was all too real, that her grandmother told her that everything would be all right, and that she would have a beautiful little girl.  This was long before we could find out the sex of this baby, but rest assured that this little soul is being held by her family in spirit, and before long she will be revealed to all of us here in the physical world.  Bobbi lost her grandmother whom she was very close to, at a young tender age of 8 years old.  I tell Bobbi that her grandmother is still with her, will always watch over and protect her, just like she will be watching over this little soul. 

I do expect to be with my daughter for the blessed event, and while you may not hear from me for a little while, I'll be busy reassuring a first-time mom that she is doing a gr8 job and cuddling a sweet little baby girl. 

F my life...

perfect...I need one of these... :) 

 

Let these be your love desires ~

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. 
To know the pain of too much tenderness. 
To be wounded by your own understanding of love; 

 and to bleed willingly and joyfully. 

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; 
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy; 
To return home at eventide with gratitude; 

and then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart 

and a song of praise upon your lips...

wishing you an enjoyable weekend.  :)

emerge from the darkness

and away from the black depths of my mundane maddening life ... 

lately I've been in some dark place with a lot of issues still surrounding the granddaughter who obviously is damaged more than any of us realized, herself included.  Even though she had testing, they are not wanting to label her, but feel that early on she has suffered neglect which internally has come out in behavioral issues this last two years as she is exploring new boundaries.  She has a lot of anxiety around social issues and abandonment which is going to affect her relationships.  I am on the receiving end of her physical aggression and its taken its toll on my psyche and my body.  There is no joy in being her grandmother any more.  I am the jailer, the intimidator, the object of her backlash.  I think she exhibits PTSD symptoms.  Does one call the authorities and add more insult to a damaged child  already?  maybe I just need to hire a bodyguard and keep my distance.  Knock her out with tranquilizers, or lock her up in a padded room?  How long before these behaviors go outside the boundaries of home...its as if she lives a double life, and more than anything she worries people will find out about the little monster she tries to keep closeted.

After a discussion with a professional (she's been in counseling for a year with no significant results), they recommend more counseling and perhaps a trial with medications.  Stand firm they said with what I do as far as setting boundaries, easy for them to say they don't have to deal with her outbursts.  I am disheartened, frankly I did not sign up for this crapshit.  The first two years weren't so bad, worst in the last two.  My heart tells me not to give up on her, but my head says "run, run Forest run..."  am I so bad for thinking this way?

Social Media Back When...

 

I remember the bygone days of social networking, the CB radio.  The most sought after model was the Golden Eagle, and my Dad drooled over this and finally got one.  The antenna I remember thinking stretched to heaven...LOL...but of course it didn't.  Everything is bigger when you're a kid.  He became 'hooked' on his CB radio, talking for hours, making friends, and everybody had a 'handle' in those days, like people in chatrooms on Yahoo, remember?  Its the same thing really only in a different form.  When Dad left his CB room, we'd sneak in and boy it was a fancy gadget! knobs everywhere, you could talk to people privately and of course there was emergency channels, and of you could tune in people from overseas! We would "break-break" the line by pushing that lever down on the microphone, it was a rush, especially when somebody answered you back! :)

My dad became an avid and addicted CB'er with the handle of "Cabbage Head," and my mom, "Brussel Sprouts."  Its interesting to glimpse back and marvel at how social media has evolved, and sometimes not for the better I'm afraid. Everywhere now its cellphones, tablets, its ridiculous!  Just the other day when breaking from jury duty out in a big hallway, I bet you 50 people were standing there gawking at their cell phones ignoring those around them, not engaging in conversation, rather staring blankly into this gadget.  It felt rather lonely to be without technology!

As far as actually meeting people, the CB was also a good tool for that. Dad made many friends and acquaintances over the years, and we made many a Sunday drive to visit his CB buddies.  Mom had fun on it too! Dad did allow us to play on it but not very much; it was his grownup toy!  Those were some of the best memories of a childhood past, of my Dad with his Browning Eagle. 

Have a gr8 night everybody.  Happy Fourth!